It Never HappenedRight?
by Midnitewishez
Summary: It was a moment of pure insanity, madness that couldnt be denied. But when the moments over, what's next? It never happened... right? Posted on
1. Chapter 1 How To Forget

**A/N: I posted this on but since the site is acting up I am going to post it here as well.. **

**It Never Happened…Right?**

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Takes place when Jude turns 18. Jude and Jamie broke up after Jude got back from her tour. Jamie and Kat are together, and have been for the last year. Sadie and Tommy have been together since Italy. Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING INVOLVING INSTANT STAR… ONLY THIS PLOT.

**Chapter One: How To Forget**

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_Dear Diary,_

_Can you believe it? I am 18 years old, finally the big 1-8. Not that it really matters much anymore. Or does it? Man, am I confused! Something happened early this morning at the Studio. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, he's Sadie's boyfriend! She's my sister and he's her boyfriend. How can I let it go? Forget it ever happened, like everything else. I'm not like Tommy… it does mean something. But it was a mistake that shouldn't have happened… what am I going to do! I can't just forget about it…**How do you forget that?...**_

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**Early that morning at G-Major, Jude's Birthday. Nobody is there except Tommy and Jude. 12:08 a.m. **

"So, is that it? It's done?" Jude asked swirling around in her chair to face Tommy.

"Yep. It's done. CD number two, ready for final production." Tommy said facing Jude, "You did it."

Looking at Tommy, Jude smiled. Seeing her face light up, Tommy grinned back. He reached out and took her hands in his.

"This one is going to be a bigger hit than the first. I can feel it," Tommy told Jude excitedly.

"Do you think so?" when Tommy nodded, Jude said softly, "Well, it's because of you."

Tommy shook his head, "No, girl, it's all you. Didn't we already have this discussion a few years ago? I'm just the wing man."

"C'mon Tommy, you know I would of never got this far with out you," Jude said softly. When his gaze left hers, Jude squeezed his hands getting his attention back to her.

"I need you, Tommy. I need you more than I need my guitar. You mean so much to me. I don't know what I would do with out you."

Tommy saw the truth in her eyes. _So_, Tommy thought_, this is it. The moment we've been coming to. I can't do this… I love Sadie… right? It doesn't matter… there is no Jude and I… there can't be, I hurt her too much… it needs to stop_.

"Jude, we can't do this," Tommy said breaking through his thoughts.

"Do what, Tommy? Tell the truth? Stop hiding?" Jude asked annoyed yanking her hands from his, "When can we? Should I wait until you and Sadie get married, and then bring it up? Do you want to talk about it then?"

"I don't know, Jude… I just… don't know…" Tommy said lamely.

"That's right, you never know. You just run from your problems, and then say you don't know or it didn't happen," Jude yelled at Tommy.

"Jude, I'm with Sadie…" Tommy said desperately. _I have to let her go… I must…_

"You think I don't know that, Tommy? I see you two all the time, kinda hard to miss it!" Jude continued to yell bitterly, standing over Tommy, "You know what Tommy? You're a coward. Scared of feeling something real! What you have with Sadie isn't real!"

At first Tommy sat in shock. When Jude turned to leave, he snapped out of it. He stood up in anger. Tommy pulled Jude around to face him. When Jude saw Tommy's face contorted with rage, she lost all thought, except fear.

Slowly, Tommy advanced on Jude. Step by step.

"I – AM –_ NOT_ – A - COWARD!" Tommy bit out as he walked Jude into the wall, "GOT IT!"

With her back to the wall, all Jude could do was nod.

Suddenly, Tommy grabbed Jude's face in his hands and kissed her hard. Jude's shock was short lived; soon she was caught up in his passion. She kissed him back just as fiercely. Jude gripped Tommy's shirt at his waist as if hold on for dear life. While Tommy deepened the kiss, he slipped his hands down Jude's throat, skimming her breast, to rest on her hips. He pulled Jude to him roughly, causing Jude's grip to tighten.

Taking the bottom of his shirt in her hands, Jude slipped it over Tommy's head. Breaking the kiss for only a moment. Wobbly they maneuvered to the couch; Tommy fell backwards, with Jude on top of him. Lips still connected, Jude and Tommy both worked Jude's shirt and bra off. Soon, both were top less. Tommy touched Jude's breasts, causing her to cry out. Before they knew it, they were laying on the floor. Tommy lying on Jude, slowly kissing his way down to her breasts.

As Tommy nipped and sucked on Jude's breast, his hands moved down to her belt; quickly taking it off. Tommy left Jude long enough to remove his and her pants and underwear. All the while, she stared into Jude's eyes, lost to reason.

Moving back onto Jude, Tommy kissed his way up her body, nipping here and there. Finally he made it to her lips, taking them passionately. Jude gripped Tommy tight, spreading her legs. Feeling her movement, Tommy positioned himself to her entrance, wrapping Jude's legs around his waist. Plunging his tongue into Jude's mouth, he quickly entered her breaking the barrier to her innocence.

Tommy sucked Jude's cries into his mouth as he continued to kiss her, gently this time. As Jude started to lift her hips and arch her back, Tommy started the age old rhythm. Jude and Tommy brought each other to new heights, to a place neither had been before, until now at least. Jude reached her climax first, Tommy following after her. Both cried out each others name, and then there was nothing but silence. As they came back down to reality, neither spoke nor moved.

Silently, Tommy untangled himself from Jude. He quickly grabbed his clothes and threw them on; never once glancing at Jude. Jude watched Tommy put his clothes on in confusion. It took her a few moments to realize she needed to do the same thing. Getting up of the floor, Jude scrambled for her clothing. When she had everything back on, Jude turned to find Tommy sitting on the couch, head in his hands.

"Tommy…" Jude said quietly.

Still Tommy didn't look at her.

"Tommy… _please_, say something!" Jude said desperately.

Tommy looked up at Jude, a bleak look in his eyes and shock in his face.

"I can't believe I _did_ that," he said looking Jude in the eye, "I'm with Sadie, how could I have done that?"

Confused, Jude looked at Tommy. After a few minutes, Jude whispered, "Do you love me Tommy?"

Tommy stared at Jude. The silence echoed in Jude's head, bringing tears to her eyes. Then, finally, Tommy spoke.

"Not in the way you want. I love Sadie, Jude. Not you."

Jude looked Tommy in the eye, noticing his blank look. Taking the look as the truth to his words, she nodded as tears escaped from her eyes. Jude turned to leave before she made more of a fool of herself.

_How could I do that?_ Jude thought, _how could I sleep with my sister's boyfriend? Oh, god… what am I going to do…_

Before Jude could leave, Tommy grabbed her and turned her to face him.

"Jude, you have to promise me something…"

"What Tommy?" Jude whispered.

Tommy looked into Jude's eyes. _I can't do this! I can't hurt her, not again! You must. No. Yes. Oh god, I'm going to regret this… _

"It didn't happen." Tommy said quietly, hating every word he said.

"Never… happened…" Jude said stupidly.

"Jude, its better this way, please" Tommy said, taking a deep breath before saying, "If Sadie knew, I would loose her. I-I can't loose her."

Jude looked away from Tommy.

"Of course not, Tommy" Jude chocked out, "I-I-It n-nev- never h-happened… okay?"

With that, Jude turned and left; leaving Tommy staring after her. Through tear blurred eyes, Jude drove home. She quietly entered the house, making sure nobody heard her sobs. When she got into her room she finally broke down all the way. For what seemed like hours, Jude cried into her pillow; lulling herself to sleep.

While back at the Studio, Tommy sat in silence. Tears streamed down his face. _I've lost her. This time is for good. Why did I do that? I let her just walk away. It was for her own good, right? Right. I love Sadie… who am I kidding, I love Jude. But I like Sadie, and I can't have Jude. I'm not right for her… I'll never be right for her…never. _The more Tommy thought about how good this was for Jude, the more he hurt. _I need to move on…_

Beep. Beep.

Tommy looked over to find his phone beeping. Picking it up he saw the reminder he set months ago. What he read made him laugh bitterly, "Jude's 18th Birthday!"

Softly, he whispered into the silence, "Happy birthday, girl."

"Jude! Wake up! It's your birthday!"

"Agh…" Jude grumbled.

Jude opened one eye to find an all too happy face staring down at her.

"It's too early… wake me up in an hour… or 5" Jude mumbled as she shoved her face into her pillow.

"Come on Jude! Wake up! It's nine o'clock! I think that's late enough for you," Sadie announced as she grabbed the blankets and threw them off Jude.

Jude sat up and glared at Sadie.

"Did you sleep in your clothes? What happened? You look horrible." Sadie said frowning.

"Huh?" Jude asked, then looked down at herself and remembered. "Oh, I was just… too tired to change. Rough night last night, that's all."

"You look worse than a 'rough night'. Do you want to talk about it?" Sadie asked concerned.

_Oh, sure. I just slept with your boyfriend, whom I love by the way. Then was told it was a mistake and never happened. Right, like you want to know. _Jude thought sadly.

"No Sadie, I'm fine. It's nothing. Stress and all that." Jude said instead.

"Well today should cheer you up. Mom's taking us to breakfast, then shopping. A going away, slash birthday present." Sadie announced excited.

"Cant wait…" Jude said getting up from her bed.

"Trust me, it'll make you happy. We'll have tons of fun. Besides I'm leaving tomorrow for college in California. You'll miss me, I know you will," Sadie said putting her arm around Jude's shoulders.

"Are you sure you want to go that far? I mean… a different country, Sadie?" Jude asked sadly, "I will miss you, even if we don't get along half the time."

"I know, but it'll be good. Maybe we'll get along more when I get back." Sadie said laughing as she walked to the door, "Hurry and get ready."

Jude nodded and watched her sister leave the room. Taking Sadie's advice, Jude quickly took a shower and put her make up on. She put her hair in a pony tail and grabbed whatever clothes were close. After grabbing her jacket she left the room.

_I will not think of last night today, _Jude vowed, _it's my birthday, happy thoughts… no Tommy thoughts…_

Jude kept to her vow and didn't think of Tommy once. Jude, Sadie and Victoria went to eat at a local restaurant and then left from there to the nearest mall. Where Sadie bought almost every piece of clothing she could find and Jude bought a few things for her guitar, a few shirts and pants. Over all, she had a blast. Jude and Sadie didn't fight, to their mom's relief; they laughed and joked. By the end of the day all three of them were worn out. Once they arrived back at home, they sprawled on the couch.

"Well, that was tiring." Jude stated. "Thanks mom, I really needed that."

"Your welcome sweetie," Victoria said.

Suddenly, Sadie squealed sharply. Jude and Victoria stared at her as she closed her phone. Sadie looked at Jude and Victoria with a goofy smile on her face.

"You'll never guess what Tom just said," Sadie announced, holding her phone close to her.

"What is it?" Victoria asked cautiously.

Jude couldn't say anything. With the mention of Tommy's name, came thousands of conflicting emotions. She could only sit in numbed shock as Sadie told her happy news.

"Tommy left me a message," Sadie said proudly, not noticing Jude's face become white and blank, "he wants to move with me to California. Said something about he doesn't want me to leave him for that long. That he'd miss me too much. Can you believe it!"

"Sadie, I don't know about this…" Victoria started.

"Mom, can't you just be happy for me? I love him and he loves me"

"Well, what about Jude? He's her producer. He can't just leave." Victoria said as she looked at Jude.

"No, mom, it's fine. I can find another producer. There's no problem." Jude said forcing a calm not into her voice, "The CD is already finished. I don't need him."

"Jude…" Victoria began.

"Well, guys, I'm going to go lay down." Jude announced, getting up, "Well, Sadie, I'm happy for you. I hope you have fun. I'll see you in the morning."

Jude left Sadie and her mom to talk about Tommy. She couldn't sit there and act like nothing happened. _Maybe its better this way, _Jude thought, _now she could get over him. And it would be like nothing ever happened for real. Time to move on._

Jude spent the rest of her birthday sleeping. She woke up early the next morning to her phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Jude, we need you to get down here as soon as possible."

"Georgia?" Jude said looking at her clock, "It's seven in the morning. Can't you wait?"

"No, this is important."

"Okay, I'll be there in few. Bye."

Jude hung up the phone and got out of bed. After she was dressed and looking a little orderly, she left her room. As she passed by Sadie's room, she heard Sadie getting ready to leave. Jude poked her head in the room.

"Sadie."

"Huh?" Sadie said turning around, "Jude, what are you doing up this early?"

"I have to go down to G-Major. Are you leaving now?" Jude asked noticing the bags everywhere.

"Oh, yeah, plane leaves at 8:30. Tom's coming to get me soon." Sadie announced.

"So then, I guess this is good-bye." Jude stated.

"I guess so," Sadie said softly, walking across the room she hugged Jude, "I'll miss you little sis."

"You too, Sadie," Jude said with tears in her eyes.

"I'll be back for Christmas, kay?" Sadie asked pulling away. She, too had tears in her eyes.

"Okay, I'll see you then" Jude said as she walked to the door, "Bye Sadie."

"Bye Jude. Wait, Jude, don't you want to say good-bye to Tommy?" Sadie asked.

"Um… no, not really" Jude told her as she turned to face Sadie, "You can tell him if you want to. Bye."

Jude turned and left the house. Ten minutes after Jude left, Tommy pulled up. He was pulled into the house before he could knock on the door.

"Hey!" Sadie said happily, kissing him quickly.

"Hey… you ready?" Tommy asked looking around for Jude.

"Yep, here are my bags" Sadie announced pointing to the bags littering the floor, "Want to put them to the car while I go get my coat?"

"Oh, yeah, sure…" Tommy said picking up some of the bags and taking them to the car.

When he got back he grabbed the remaining bags and looked up at Sadie coming down the stairs.

"Okay, you ready?" Sadie asked.

"Uh… yeah, bags are packed" Tommy said as Sadie floated past him and out the door.

Tommy followed Sadie to the car. Turning to face Tommy, Sadie asked, "Where's the Viper?"

"Oh well, I decided to leave it with Kwest at his place for a while." Tommy said as he looked around.

"What are you waiting for Tom? You keep looking around as if you're expecting someone to pop out of the bushes." Sadie said eyeing Tommy.

"Where's Jude and your mom? Didn't they want to say good-bye?" Tommy asked.

"Oh, I thought you might wonder at that. Well, mom is at work, she already said it and Jude went to the studio this morning. She said good-bye before she left," Sadie said, then frowned, "Tom, did something happen between you two?"

"What? Uh…Why would you think something happened?" Tommy's heart was pounding.

"Well… Jude didn't care that you decided to go with me. Then this morning she told me I could tell you good-bye if_ I _wanted to." Sadie said confused, "That's not Jude."

"Oh well, I don't know" Tommy said cautiously, "She seemed fine when I last saw her."

_Ha! _Tommy thought, _she was anything but fine! You broke her heart and call it fine, what's wrong with you…_

"Oh, well okay…" Sadie said, stopping Tommy's thoughts, "Well, then lets go."

As they drove away, Sadie thought to herself, _there is something wrong here. What is going on? Oh well, I'll find out sooner or later…hopefully sooner rather than later…_

Jude arrived at G-Major when Tommy was arriving at her house. Yawning, Jude walked into G-Major to find the lobby buzzing with people. She walked straight to Georgia's office.

"So, what was so important?" Jude asked as she sat in the chair across from Georgia.

"Happy birthday," Georgia said looking up at Jude and then frowned, "Jude there is something I need to tell you… it's about Tommy…"

"Don't worry Georgia, I already know" Jude said before Georgia could finish her sentence.

"You know?" Georgia asked shocked.

"Well, if he left and I need a new producer, than yes, I know" Jude said simply.

"Oh well, then…" Georgia said sitting a little straighter, "I've decided to have Kwest produce you. Since you are already close, it would be pointless to bring in somebody new. Kwest left already to take your CD to New York, so in a few weeks you'll have your CD and ready for sales. Great job by the way. It's going to be and even bigger hit, I know it."

_That's what Tommy said_ Jude thought to herself, _will I ever stop thinking of him! No. Oh shut up you! Wow, am I arguing with myself? Yes you are… dang, I think I am loosing it._

"Jude, did you hear a thing I just said?" Georgia asked.

"Uh… yeah" Jude told Georgia snapping back to reality trying to escape her insanity.

"Okay, good." Georgia sat and continued to study Jude for a few minutes in silence.

Breaking the silence, Georgia asked, "Jude, are you okay? You don't seem like your doing fine. You look a little pale and really out of it."

"Um… yeah, I'm fi-" Jude stopped herself, and then said, "No, Georgia, I'm not fine. I am really tired, completely worn out. Is there anyway that I can take a break. Maybe go visit Jamie and Kat in New York for a while?"

"Of course you can, as soon as we launch your new CD, okay?" Georgia said, thinking that was it and went back to her paper work.

"No, Georgia, I am leaving today," Jude told her, "I just thought I should tell you."

"When will you be back?" Georgia asked, not completely grasping the conversation. Jude had never spoken in that kind of voice to her, and the say the least; Georgia was shocked.

"I don't know, days, weeks, months… whenever I am ready for the world." Jude said as she walked out of Georgia's office, leaving a stunned Georgia staring into space. Jude got in her car and went home. So it was decided, she was going to New York. Now all she had to do was pack, tell her mom where she'd be and call Jamie and Kat.

_Now that's what I need, _Jude thought, _spend a few weeks with Jamie and Kat and I'll be as good as new in no time. Well… until I come back…if I come back…_

**The Next Day-Airport- New York City**

"Jude! Over here!"

Jude whipped around to find Jamie and Kat jumping up and down as they waved their hands in the air. With an enormous grin, Jude ran towards them. She flew straight into Jamie's arms, rapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Umph" Jamie breathed getting his air knocked out of him.

"Jamie, you don't know how happy I am to see you!" Jude said hugging Jamie even tighter.

"I think… I might… have a… clue…" Jamie gasped, "Jude, I missed you too… But I need to… _breathe_…"

"Oh, right… sorry," Jude said, letting Jamie go and giving him a smile as she turned to Kat.

Jude and Kat smiled at each other before Jude launched herself as Kat, hugging her tight.

"Kat, I am so glad to see you too" Jude said as she squeezed Kat.

"I've missed you too, Jude. I can't believe you finally made it out here," Kat said as she embraced Jude.

"Yeah, well the albums done and I needed some time…" Jude said quietly as she pulled away.

Now standing face to face with Jude, Kat looked into Jude's eyes. Something flashed in Jude's eyes, but it was gone before Kat could make sense of it. _Oh no… something happened_, Kat thought, _something really bad…Jude only masks her emotions when it's bad. _

"What happened, Jude?" Kat asked, breaking right to the point.

For a moment Jude's eyes widened and pain contorted her face. Jude recovered herself and glanced away.

"I think we should head home… Kat?" Jamie said. He caught everything that just happened. And like Kat, he was worried.

Jamie looked at Kat, and saw her eyes get misty. Jamie put his arm around Kat gave her a squeeze then put his other arm around Jude.

"Come along ladies, I believe your chariot awaits you." Jamie said as he led them out of the airport.

Once they reached Jamie's car, he bowed for them as he opened their doors, "Maladies…"

Jude and Kat broke out in laughter. Jude hugged Jamie before she got into the car whispering, "Thank you" in his ear.

As they drove away from the airport, Jamie looked at Jude and said, "Welcome to New York!" before heading into the bumper to bumper traffic.

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	2. Chapter 2 Changes

**Chapter Two: Changes**

_Dear Diary,_

_It's amazing how your whole life can change in one moment. Yet, what's more amazing is that sometimes it changes and you don't even know it. Go through every day not knowing what's coming. Even when it's been there with you the whole time…_

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For the past three months, Jude has been in New York. A few days after she first arrived Kwest came and saw her when he heard from Georgia that she was there. Georgia wanted to make sure Jude was okay, her immediate departure was confusing. Kwest knew something was wrong but didn't ask, and Jude didn't tell. He left, and told Georgia that Jude was doing just fine, even though he knew it to be the furthest from the truth.

Jude got a job at Kat's work, Frenchy's Café (completely made up). On the days she had off, usually Kat and Jamie had school, so Jude usually went to play guitar in the park. She started getting regulars who came to the park just to listen to her. One was an older man; one day when she was putting her guitar away he sat next to her and told her about his days in the military. Jude knew he just needed someone to talk to, and she was happy to do so. As the weeks passed, she became closer and closer to the elder man. Still, no matter how close she got to the man or to Jamie and Kat, Jude couldn't bring herself to talk about the incident that happened three months before.

"Hey, little missy."

Jude looked up from putting her guitar in its case. The older man sat next to her as she looked up.

"Hey, George," Jude said.

"Are you headin' home?" George asked, "I just got here."

"I'm sorry, George. But I really don't feel so great today." Jude said as she pressed the last buckle on her case closed, "I thought getting out of the apartment would help, but it just made me feel worse."

"You haven't been feelin' too good a lot lately," George stated, "maybe you should go get looked at. I would hate it if something bad happened to you."

Jude smiled softly at George, "Thank you, but I'll be fine. It's nothing, just a little bit of the flu or something. In a few days I'll be as good as new."

"I sure hope so…" George said worried.

Rising, Jude turned to face George, "I would love it if you walked a young girl like me home."

"It would be my honor," George said as he got up. As they started walking, Jude put her arm through his. It was more for him than for her, but it made George feel better if he thought it was for her. Jude knew he should have a walking stick, but his pride wouldn't let him.

After twenty minutes, they reached Jude's apartment.

"Thank you George, for the walk home. I work tomorrow, but I'll be in the park on Saturday." Jude said as she let go of George's arm and fished her keys from her pocket. "I've even got another new song."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," George said with a smile. "But promise me you'll at least go see the doctor. You wouldn't want an old man like me worrying about you, would you?"

Smiling, Jude kissed him on the cheek and said, "I'll think about it. But I don't think you have anything to worry about."

With that they said good-bye and George stood there waiting for Jude to get into the building.

With a frown George thought to himself, _there's definitely something wrong with that there little miss. I've seen this once before… a long time ago. When things were good…Don't think about that anymore! It's gone, dead, buried in the past. No need to relive those memories…_

Shaking his head sadly, George turned and left.

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"Jude, I'm going to call in sick for you" Kat stated with her hands on her hips. "You're too sick to go to work."

"No, Kat, I'm fine, really." Jude said as she washed her mouth out.

"Every morning you're in here throwing up and you think you're fine?" Kat asked in disbelief. "You could be seriously sick, Jude."

"Kat, I'm not going to die, so please, drop it." Jude said as she walked past Kat and into her room.

Kat followed on her heels and stood in the door way, watching Jude collapse on the bed with her head in the pillow.

"Fine, if you think you're not sick, then please, enlighten me" Kat said angry, "what is wrong with you!"

"Kat…" Jude mumbled into her pillow.

"Don't you 'Kat' me! I want to know what is wrong with you." Kat said as she advanced into the room, standing next to the bed, "Ever since you got here, you've been like this. I know some things wrong, Jamie knows some things wrong. We knew it the second you called three months ago. So don't you dare try and tell me nothing is wrong. I've let you try and work through whatever it was, but I can't anymore! I have to know what's going on! I'm not going to watch you-"

"Kat! Okay… Okay!" Jude yelled as she sat up on the bed, "I'll tell you, okay! Just please, _stop!_"

"Okay then…" Kat said calming down.

As Jude shifted to sit criss-cross on the bed, Kat sat next to her in the same position. For a few minutes they sat in complete silence, Jude trying to face the demons in her head and Kat trying to be patient.

"There's no easy way to say this, Kat. And I think the best way for me to say it is to just get to the point…" Jude said quietly, then took a deep breathe, "Early in the morning on my birthday, Tommy and I finished my album. To make a long story straight, I tried to get him to talk about how he feels, and he wasn't going for it. Instead I made him angry. He was coming at me, completely enraged. I thought he was going to kill me, but instead he ended up kissing me. Basically, things got a little out of hand, and we… we… slept together. And being stupid old me, I thought he cared. But no, he loves Sadie, or so he confessed. When he said this, I just wanted to leave, but he pulled me back and made me promise…"

"Promise what?" Kat asked in shock.

"That… it never happened…" Jude squeezed her eyes shut as she relived the night, the moment. She could feel her heart breaking, but for some reason, it felt worse to relive it than it did to actually be there. Tears kept escaped from her eyes as Jude lost what little of control she had. _No…_ Jude thought _I can't give into this. I can't be weak! No more tears… no more… Oh God, it hurts!_

Kat watched as Jude's control slipped, and gently took her into her arms. Letting her cry on her shoulder. Silently, Kat started to cry. Kat and Jude held on to each other desperately, one of them reliving her misery the other feeling it for the first time.

Twenty minutes later, Jude and Kat finally stopped crying. Kat still holding Jude ran her hand over Jude's hair, calming her.

"Give it time Jude, the pain will go away," Kat whispered, "Tommy is not worth this."

"I know Kat, but that's not all," Jude said as she shut her eyes again, "I'm… I'm pregnant."

Kat's eyes open wide in shock. _Wow._

"You're disappointed in me, aren't you…?" Jude said softly as her eyes teared over again. Jude pushed herself away from Kat and looked away.

"Jude, no, I'm not disappointed." Kat said, taking Jude by the shoulders to get Jude to look at her, "Shocked, yes. Disappointed, no. Are you positive, though? Could you be wrong?"

Jude gave Kat an are-you-kidding-me look, "It's been three months, Kat, three. I think I would of known by now."

"Oh, right…" Kat said, "Then you haven't been to see the doctor?"

"Um… no not really…" Jude mumbled.

"Jude! You have to go and get checked out!" Kat told Jude in that motherly tone of voice.

"I know! I know!" Jude said as she threw her hands up, "I just don't like the doctor very much…"

Kat gave Jude a look then said, "I have an aunt who is a doctor around here. I can call her and see when she can fit you in, okay?"

"Kat… I really…" Jude started.

"No, Jude. You are going. If I have to drag you to that car, you're going," Kat declared as she got off the bed and left the room.

Jude watched her leave, and then laid back down. Her stomach still hadn't calmed down all the way.

_Great I hate doctors,_ Jude thought, _but Kat's right. I have to go… if nothing else then for the baby. Wow, that's so real. A baby. Oh God, a Tommy look-a-like. Oh God! Tommy! He can't know. Nobody can know. They're going to find out sooner or later, you know. Can't I just hide some where? Maybe go to a third world country, they'd never find me there, that's for sure! You can't run, it won't change what's about to happen…Fine! I'll stay! But nobody can know its Tommy's… especially not Tommy. Duh! What do you think I am? Just don't tell him! Wow… wait, did I just tell myself not to tell Tommy? I really have lost it! You think? Oh stuff it already!_

Groaning, Jude turned on to her side and beat her pillow a few times. Then promptly laid on her back staring at the ceiling.

"Jude, your appointment is in half an hour." Kat said as she walked back into Jude's room. "So you better get ready, we have to go."

"What? So soon?" Jude asked more than a little nervous, "I thought it would at least be a few days!"

"Honestly, so did I. But a couple patients canceled last minute, so she has a spot open." Kat said, "Now enough of this. Get up and get your clothes on. I already called work for you. Boss lady said you can take the day off. Evidently she noticed that you haven't looked too great."

"Oh goodie, another person to pester me," Jude said sarcastically as she went through her clothes.

"Just wait until you have to tell Jamie," Kat said as she left the room.

Jude stopped rummaging through her dresser to look at Kat. But Kat wasn't there anymore.

"Oh man… Jamie…" Jude groaned.

Jude and Kat spent a good two hours at the doctor's office. Once they got back to the apartment, Kat had to leave for class; leaving Jude home, with a kitchen full of food. Taking advantage of the stocked food, Jude grabbed anything her arms could carry. Munching as she watched anything on TV. It was a good two hours later when Jude realized she had ate almost everything she brought with her to the couch. Putting what was left away, Jude walked back to her room. Grabbing her guitar, she played a few notes, humming to herself.

"_mmm… It never happened… mmm…more mistakes you realize way too late…"_

Jude played a few more chords, getting a feel for the song.

"…_Whispered words in my ear… mmm… It never happened…"_

"That sounds great. Did you just get started?"

Jude shrieked as she jumped around to face a grinning Jamie.

"Jamie! What are you trying to do? Kill me!" Jude asked annoyed with a hand at her throat.

"I'm terribly sorry, but if you were paying attention, you would have heard me and Kat getting in." Jamie said still grinning.

"Well, still! Don't go sneaking up on people. It's not nice." Jude told him as she put her guitar back on its stand.

As she walked by Jamie at the door, she punched him in the arm saying, "Don't do that again."

She walked out to the living room, and plopped down next to Kat on the couch.

"You know Kat; you could have kept him from almost giving me a heart attack!" Jude said glaring.

"I tried, he just wouldn't listen." Kat said smiling.

"Who ate my cheese balls!" Jamie yelled from the kitchen.

Kat looked at Jude who was trying hard not to laugh.

"Jude, you didn't!" Kat said laughing, "You know Jamie loves those things!"

"I couldn't help it… they were there… I was there… it just felt right at the time…" Jude said laughing.

"Jude!" Jamie roared as he walked over to her and Kat.

"Yes, Jamie?" Jude asked innocently.

"Why? Dear lord… why would you do that? To me," Jamie said looking hurt as he pointed to himself.

Kat and Jude started laughing hysterically, rolling around on the couch.

"You two think this is funny?" Jamie asked offended.

"No…" Jude said between laughing.

"It's more like hilarious-" Kat said as she fell off the couch, which only started the laughing back up again.

Jamie, absolutely offended by this barbarous display, walked away. It took Jude and Kat twenty minutes to finally stop laughing. They sat back on the couch grinning at each other.

"One of us should go find him," Jude said.

"I vote you." Kat declared, "After all you did eat the mans cheese balls."

"Okay, fine, I'll go…" Jude said as she got off the couch.

Jamie sat in the kitchen eating Jude's pop tarts.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Jude asked trying to grab the box of pop tarts.

Jamie held the box away from her, "I don't think so! You ate my cheese balls! You owe me."

"I owe you cheese balls, not my pop tarts!" Jude said reaching for the box again only to get it pulled back again.

"You took what was mine, I get what's yours." Jamie said simply.

Jude gave Jamie a pouty look, sticking out her bottom lip. Jamie looked at her with a slight smile then began to eat the pop tart while groaning and moaning.

"Mmm… so delicious… oh yes… it just melts in your mouth… so tarty… yummy tasty toaster pastry…"

Jude watched as Jamie closed his eyes to give the air of ecstasy. Quickly she snaked her hand out, grabbed the box and ran.

"Jude! You had better run!" Jamie shouted.

Running into the living room, Jude tossed the box to Kat who caught it and ran down the hall. When Jamie came after Jude, she put her hands up in surrender then pointed down the hall.

"Kat!" Jamie called as he ran down the hall.

Jamie ran in the room grabbing Kat and tackling her on the bed.

"Do you give?" Jamie asked tickling her.

Laughing, Kat yelled, "Give! I give!"

Smiling down at Kat, Jamie kissed her.

"Oh, knock it off already… others live in this house too." Jude said grinning at the doorway.

Jamie turned his head to look at Jude, "Others? You mean you."

Smiling Jude said softly, "Sure I do." Then walked away.

Jamie looked at Kat, "What was that about?"

Kat just smiled and shrugged.

Later that night the three of them were watching TV when Jamie noticed an envelope on the coffee table.

"Hey, what's this?" Jamie asked grabbing the envelope.

"Oh it's nothing…" Jude said reaching for it.

Jamie pulled out an ultra-sound picture and just stared at it.

"W-What's this?" Jamie asked not taking his eyes from the picture "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes, Jamie. It's an ultra-sound picture." Jude said as she took it away and put it back in the envelope.

"Ultra-sound means baby… right?" Jamie asked horrified.

"Yes, Jamie, an ultra-sound can mean baby and yes, in this case, it means baby." Jude told him like an adult talks to a child.

"Baby...? Whose…?" Jamie asked.

"Mine." Jude stated matter-of-factly.

Jamie stared at Jude's face then he look at her stomach, then back to her face. He repeated the process for a good ten minutes before Jude punched him.

"Stop staring at me like I'm a freak."

"I'm sorry… I just can't believe it…" Jamie said still staring. "When… how…"

"How? Um… Jamie I don't really want to give those details, I'm sorry." Jude said, "As for when…"

Jude told Jamie the story. By the end tears were falling from her eyes. Seeing how bad it hurt her, Jamie tried to hug her, but Jude pulled away.

"No, I'm fine… really. I just hope that's the last time I have to repeat the story." Jude said wiping her face.

"What are you going to do Jude?" Kat asked. "Are you going to tell Tommy?"

"No, Tommy is not going to know this baby is his," Jude avowed, and when Kat and Jamie were about to argue she continued, "I know it's wrong for me to do this. But this baby is all I have, and I mean to keep it."

"What are you going to tell your family, Georgia, everyone?" Jamie asked.

"That's simple, when I first got here; I went to a party with you guys, got a little tipsy and met this guy I barely remember." Jude announced.

"That's definitely a story." Kat remarked.

"And they're going to buy it, got it? We, as in us three, have to make sure they do." Jude stated. "Okay?"

"Okay." Kat and Jamie said, "Fine."

_This is not good, _Jamie thought, _secrets are no good. They always end up falling down around you. Never staying secrets for long…Jude is too stubborn for her own good. Otherwise she'd see this plan is not going to work… at least not forever…and when it gets out, all hell is going to break loose._

Jamie looked at Kat, knowing she was thinking the same thing.

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****

"Jamie, Kat, I've decided to go back home."

It was the next day at breakfast that Jude told them. Jamie with his spoon suspended in mid-air looked at Jude.

"Jude are you sure? I mean you can stay here you know…" Jamie said putting down his spoon.

"I'm positive." Jude said as she sat down with her pop tart across from Jamie and Kat. "I want to go. I need my mom for this."

"She's going to freak out, you know." Jamie told Jude.

"Jamie, I know. But she's going to find out sooner or later, I have to tell her." Jude responded, "But I really do need her. You won't understand, you're not a girl."

"Well I sure hope not," Jamie said as she started to eat again.

Kat smacked Jamie, "Shut up, Jamie. Jude, I think it's good you're going home. You'll probably feel a lot better."

Jude smiled at Kat, and then suddenly she sprang up and ran into her room. Running past Jamie and Kat she yelled, "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Jude! Where are you going?" Kat asked.

"I have to say good-bye to George!" Jude shouted as she closed the front door.

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****

"George!" Jude said as she hurried to the older man sitting on the bench.

"Hello to you too, little miss." George said smiling brightly, "I thought you'd never show up."

"Sorry, but a lots happened lately." Jude said as she fell on to the bench taking a deep breath.

"Well, you look much better," George told Jude, "Where's your guitar? I thought you had a new song."

"I didn't exactly come here to sing…" Jude trailed off.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" George asked worriedly.

"Oh, yes, things are fine… I, uh… just needed to tell you that I am leaving…" Jude said facing George.

"Leaving? Where are you going?" George asked frowning. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, nothings really wrong, but I am… uh… I mean to say…" Jude couldn't finish.

"You're pregnant?" George asked.

"Well… yes actually… how did you know?" Jude asked taken back.

"Experience," George said as he looked away, "I was in love once… and I think she loved me too. Only, some things just aren't meant to be. So, where are you going?"

Jude watched George a second before answering, "Back home to Toronto. I just need my family right now, you know?"

"I understand." George said. "So when are you leaving?"

"In a few hours," Jude said, "I should be leaving."

"I'll miss you girl, you gave an old man like me something to look forward to," George said as Jude and him rose to their feet.

Jude reached over and gave him a hug saying, "I'll miss you too. You gave a young girl her smile back. I'll be back someday and I'll expect to see you sitting here."

George pulled away and smiled gently, "And I'll be here, waiting."

"Do you want to walk me home?" Jude asked.

"No, you go ahead. I think it's best to say good-bye now." George said.

"Okay. Bye, George. I'm glad I met you." Jude said with tears in her eyes.

"Not half as glad as I am to have met you, little miss." George said choking up, "Now you go, get back to your family."

Jude smiled then turned and walked away. She looked back over her shoulder before she turned into the street. George stood there watching as another girl walked out of his life.

_There goes one more… _George thought, _but I have a feeling that this one is going to come back. Rosie, love… why did you leave me?_

Sitting back on the bench, silent tears streamed down Georges face as he looked in the distance; seeing only the past.

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****

For hours Jude sat in an airplane, and for twenty minutes she sat in a cab. Finally, she was home. Jude paid the cab driver, grabbed her bags and walked to the front door. Taking a deep breath, Jude opened the door.

_Here goes nothing…_

"Mom? You here?" Jude called out.

"Jude!" Victoria screamed as she ran from the kitchen to the entry way. She captured Jude into a fierce hug, "I am so happy you're home! It's been so lonely with out you and Sadie."

"I know," Jude said as she hugged her mom, "I really missed you too."

Pulling away Victoria looked at Jude beaming. "So you're home to stay, right?"

"Yep, home to stay." Jude said softly.

"We should get you settled," Victoria said as she grabbed Jude's bags, "You're probably tired."

"Dead tired," Jude said as she followed Victoria up the stairs.

Once they were in Jude's room, Victoria put Jude's bags on the floor and turned to face Jude who was sitting on the bed.

"Well, I think I'll leave you to take a nap. I'll have dinner ready by the time you wake up and you can tell me all about New York." Victoria said as she walked to the door.

_Should I tell her? Should I wait? I should just do it now and get it over with…_

"Mom…" Jude called before Victoria could get to the door.

"Yes, Jude?" Victoria said as she turned around.

"Um… there is something I need to tell you…" Jude said with out looking at her.

"Jude, honey, what's wrong?" Victoria asked worried.

Walking over to Jude, Victoria sat next to her on the bed.

"There's no easy way to tell you this…" Jude said softly still looking away, "But I'm… uh… pregnant."

Jude sneaked a glance at her mom but looked away quickly.

Victoria stunned could only stare at Jude with her mouth open. She tried moving her mouth, hoping the words would come out but they continued to be silent.

"Mom, please, _say_ something…" Jude said quietly, tears filling her eyes.

"I… I don't know what to say, Jude…" Victoria said, getting her voice back, "you're… oh my god! Jude! How could you?"

"Mom, I'm sorry…" Jude said sobbing quietly, "You don't know how sorry I am…"

Victoria took Jude in her arms, trying to calm her down. "When? Who's the father?"

"It… it was when I first got to New York… there was this party and then there was this guy… and… and…"

"Sh… Jude, its okay I get the picture…" Victoria whispered into Jude's hair.

"I'm sorry… so sorry… please forgive me…" Jude whispered into her moms shoulder. Her eyes were closed tight trying to stop the tears, but they kept coming back hurting more each time.

"Jude, shh… don't worry, it's going to be okay… I promise." Victoria told Jude as she rocked her a little.

It took Jude half an hour to fully calm down and stop crying. She laid on her side with her mom sitting next her on the edge of the bed.

"Mom, are things really going to be okay?" Jude asked suddenly.

"Yes, honey, they are. You've got me, Sadie and your dad. It will be okay." Victoria reassured her.

Jude gave Victoria a watery smile and then slowly fell asleep.

Watching Jude sleep, Victoria thought to herself, _Jude…Jude…Jude… what have you got yourself into? What have you got us all into? _

Victoria rose and walked to the door. She looked back at Jude then silently closed the door.


	3. Chapter 3 Incoming

**Chapter Three: Incoming**

_Dear Diary,_

_The thought of never seeing Tommy again was my happiest thought. Then I remembered Sadie. When Sadie shows up, Tommy shows up. And when that happens… my lie will be brought to the ultimate test. The battle will begin…_

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Jude lived in her own peaceful world for the past five months. She told Georgia, EJ, Kwest, and Darius what happened; at least the safe version of the story. Victoria stayed at Jude's side through it all, even when they had to tell Stuart. He was shocked but tried to be supportive. They all believed her lie, or so she thought. Silently Kwest doubted Jude's story. He knew sooner or later it would come out and he'd be the one sitting front row to witness it.

After awhile Jude couldn't write any longer considering she couldn't hold the guitar. Despite Jude's growing stomach though, she wouldn't stop arriving at G-Major. She told Georgia she had to do work, had to do something or she'd go insane. So, Kwest took Jude under his wing and taught her what he knew about producing and the equipment. Only, Jude had the worst attention span to actually learn it all.

"Am I ever going to have this thing?" Jude asked frustrated as she walked into the studio where Kwest was working.

Kwest looked up and laughed, "Well, I sure hope so, get any bigger and you're not going to be able to walk through the doors."

"Thanks Kwest, just the way to boost a fat girls self-esteem," Jude remarked as she fell into one of the chairs.

"That's what I'm here for." Kwest said getting back to his work.

Ten minutes of silence passed by, Kwest was labeling things, tweaking this and that when Jude suddenly blurted out, "I'm hungry."

"Jude, you ate like half an hour ago." Kwest said to the mixing board turning a few knobs.

"I know, but I'm hungry again. I think I am going to get something to eat. Want anything?" Jude announced as she fought her way out of the chair.

"No, not really." Kwest responded, and then stopped her, "Jude?"

"Yes?" Jude stopped at the door.

"You should just go home, its getting late and you're not even doing any work." Kwest said as he turned to face her.

Smiling Jude nodded, "You're right. I'm sorry Kwest that I can't seem to think of much. But as soon as this baby is free from my body, work will become my middle name!"

"Sure thing, see ya Jude, get some rest," Kwest told her getting back to work.

"Bye, Kwest." Jude said as she left Studio A.

Jude walked through the lobby and told EJ to tell Georgia she's going home. Driving home, Jude softly sung one of the songs she wrote while in New York.

"_..Hey little girl take me by the hand… walk me down this boardwalk… one last time again…"_

She got home and was still singing to herself as she walked into the house.

"… _I gotta get out while I still can… I'm going to New York city… with this guitar in my hand…" _

Jude shut the door and walked straight to the kitchen on a mission to the fridge, belching out notes as she walked.

"… _I'm going to New York city… gotta find where I stand… And I'll be walking down broadway… with this guitar in my hand…" _

Jude grabbed the ice cream from the freezer, singing as she got a spoon out of a drawer.

"…_Well I sing for the tourists… 'bout a dream life on the water… but when the dream gets broken… this life gets harder and harder…" _

Turning, she closed her eyes starting to sing the last verse.

"…_I'm going to New York city… Gotta find out where I stand…" _

"Great song, Jude, is that you're next hit?"

Jude screamed and jumped backwards hitting the counter as she opened her eyes wide.

"Calm down it's only us."

"What is wrong with you people and scaring me half to death! Don't you people know not to scare a person!" Jude yelled as she slumped against the counter.

"Jude! Stop yelling." Victoria told Jude.

"I'm sorry but, you guys scared me. I didn't expect anyone to be home." Jude said as she walked around the table. "Sadie, I can't believe you're here."

Sadie got up from the table and hugged Jude, or tried to the best she could.

"And I didn't expect my little sister to be pregnant at eighteen," Sadie said pulling away, "But life is full of surprises."

"Please lay off the sneaking up on me surprises, I can do with out." Jude told Sadie dryly.

"I think I learned my lesson." Sadie responded just as dryly. "I think my ear drum burst."

Jude and Sadie laughed. "That's the least of what you deserve."

"Jude, why don't you sit down with us?" Victoria asked motioning to the seat next to her.

Jude looked at Sadie and her mom, who were smiling. Then looked at the other person who couldn't meet her eyes even for a moment.

"No I think I will pass. I'm really tired. I was just going to get something to eat before I went and laid down," Jude told them, "But I think I'll just go take a nap."

"Okay, honey. I'll wake you for dinner," Victoria said.

"It's good to see you Sadie, and I'm sorry for just leaving. But I'm really worn out." Jude said looking at Sadie.

"Oh, no it's fine, you need your rest. We'll catch up when you're more awake," Sadie reassured Jude.

Jude squeezed Sadie's hand and pasted a smile on before she left the room.

Jude labored her way up the stairs and finally got to her room. She closed the door softly and went straight to her bed. Laying down facing the window, she thought to herself:

_I can't believe he's back. The nerve of him not to even say hi! He couldn't even meet my eye. Am I that disgusting? Who am I kidding… I am. He has perfect little Sadie now… no need for me… or our child… 'Our' child! What am I saying, it's 'Mine'. He has nothing to do with this one. He'll never have anything to do with my baby. He's dead as far as I am concerned… But he did look really good… What am I thinking? He looked horrible! Oh who am I kidding? He looked perfect… Okay that is the last time I admit that!_

While Jude slipped into her normal peaceful slumber, Tommy sat downstairs lost in his own thoughts. Sadie and Victoria were talking about some unknown topic, he didn't know, so Tommy was left alone with his own conversation.

_Oh God, I never knew that if I really saw her, my heart would stop beating. I can't believe she's pregnant! I know the story Sadie told me… but it's too convenient… isn't it? I mean it's too convenient by half; it could just as easily be mine. If it is, why wouldn't she tell me? Are you kidding, she wouldn't tell you if your life depended on it! She has forgotten about you, moved on... No, I can't believe that, she loved me she won't forget me! Of course she wouldn't, after all you did break her heart after sleeping with her, then left with out saying a word to her… I have to talk to her… I would stay away if I were you… Yeah, that's the attitude that got me into this mess, first chance I get, I'll talk to her…_

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"Sure, Sadie, it's fine if Tommy stays here with you."

Jude woke up to hear Victoria and Sadie talking about Tommy staying here for Christmas. She rolled herself out of bed and made her way to the door and opened it. There stood Sadie and Victoria in the hallway talking about the sleeping arrangements.

"Oh, Jude, you're finally up" Victoria said when she saw Jude standing there, "You slept right through dinner, but there are left overs in the fridge."

"Okay mom," Jude said as she passed her mom and sister, then she stopped and looked back at them, "Did you say Tommy is staying here all Christmas?"

"Yep, you don't mind do you?" Sadie asked, "You two used to be so close, I didn't think you'd mind. Who knows, maybe you two can get reacquainted."

"You don't even know how close…" Jude mumbled to herself, "I don't think I could take another acquaintance with him."

"What did you say Jude?" Sadie asked frowning.

"Huh?... Oh, uh… nothing, just that I can't _wait_ to get reacquainted." Jude said with a forced smile.

Sadie stood frowning as she watched Jude slowly descend the stairs. _Something is seriously not right here…_

Jude walked to the fridge, but instead of going for the left over dinner, she went for the ice cream she never had a chance to eat earlier.

"Should you be eating that?"

Jude screamed as she turned around.

"Do you people have to keep doing that!" Jude asked annoyed with her hand above her heart. Trying to calm the beat that had no intention of calming anytime soon.

"I'm sorry," Tommy said quietly.

Jude laughed bitterly, "And what are you sorry about exactly?"

"Jude…" Tommy began.

"No. Forget I said anything." Jude said as she picked up the ice cream and grabbed a spoon. She tried to walk around Tommy, but he caught her arm, keeping her from walking away.

"I need to talk to you." Tommy stated quietly.

"Tommy there's nothing to talk about." Jude responded with a bitter note in her voice.

Tommy looked down at her stomach, and then said, "I think there is."

"Try not to think, Tommy, you don't do it very well." Jude said her face inches from his.

"I'm not stupid, Jude, it could be mine." Tommy said staring straight into her eyes, "Most likely is, since you wouldn't sleep with just anyone."

"Evidently I did, Tommy." Jude said coldly, "Twice."

"Are you saying I mean nothing to you?" Tommy asked angry.

"Exactly. Looks like little Tommy Q, has some intelligence in there." Jude mocked, "Too bad you don't use it much."

"Jude! Enough!" Tommy said gripping her arm tighter as he brought her face closer to his, "I want to know, is it mine?"

Jude stared at Tommy icily for a few seconds before spitting out, "No, Tom, it's not yours. Now stay the hell away from me and my baby. Got it?"

"I don't believe you…" Tommy said as he backed up a little. He looked around confused. "You wouldn't do that."

"You left me Tommy. Shattered everything I felt for you, what do you expect me to do?" Jude asked bitterly, "I needed to feel loved, even if it wasn't real."

Jude yanked her arm out of Tommy's grip and walked out of the kitchen. She stopped at the door and looked back at Tommy.

"I loved you Tommy," Jude said sadly with tears in her eyes, "and you broke me, like nobody else could."

Tommy watched as Jude walked out of the room, his eyes misty. _I love you, and it's breaking me now._

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Later that night after everyone was in bed, Jude tip toed, or tried to top toe down to the kitchen. She had been lying in bed for hours and couldn't sleep. Around two in the morning she decided to get something to eat. Jude grabbed some cookies and milk and sat at the counter eating when Sadie walked in.

"Sadie, what are you still doing up?" Jude asked stuffing a cookie in her mouth.

"You woke me up when you came down here. You're really light on your feet you know," Sadie said with a smile.

Jude grinned and said, "Sorry, but its hard to get around and not be noisy. Who am I kidding; it's hard to get around."

"Are you sure you should be eating cookies?" Sadie asked fingering the bag, "It's not very healthy."

Jude lifted up her milk and stated, "I think this about evens it out, don't you?"

Sadie laughed as she sat next to Jude grabbing a cookie. They sat in silence for five minutes, neither knew what to say.

"Jude, how did this happen?" Sadie finally asked breaking the silence.

"Uh, Sadie, I think you're a little old to be taught the birds and the bees. Use your imagination; I'm sure it'll be close to the truth." Jude said lightly.

Sadie gave Jude a look while saying, "That's not what I was talking about and you know it."

"I know, but I really don't know what to tell you Sadie." Jude said soberly, "It was just a mistake… one I regret more than anything."

"Do you even know who the guy is?" Sadie asked.

"Uh… his name kinda…" Jude said quietly. _Yeah, I remember, your boyfriend, the one and only little Tommy Q._

"Are you even going to try and find this guy?" Sadie asked.

"No, Sadie, I'm not. I don't need him okay? He doesn't need to know!" Jude said defensively.

"Okay, okay, Jude I'm sorry. I didn't mean to poke old wounds." Sadie said as she put her hand on Judes.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off. I just don't really want to talk about what happened." Jude told Sadie honestly.

"Okay, then we won't. So, what's going on between you and Tommy? Ever since your birthday you guys have barely looked at each other." Sadie said, trying to get some answers.

"Why don't you ask Quincy?" Jude asked not looking at her sister. _Great, what am I suppose to say to her? Definitely not the truth._

"I tried but he just said it was an argument and he didn't want to talk about it." Sadie told her.

"Well, there you go." Jude said, hoping she'd drop it.

"Come on, Jude, I am your sister. Don't lie to me. What happened?" Sadie said her voice hardening,

Jude looked at her sister then looked away. "Okay, fine, you want to know?"

Sadie nodded when Jude glanced at her. Taking a deep breath, Jude tried to tell her something that resembled the truth.

"On my birthday, that morning, I came on to Tommy. But he pushed me away, he said he loved you." Jude told her bitterly, "You can hate me all you want, I deserve it. But I loved Tommy, and I thought he loved me."

Sadie stared at Jude like she was an alien, moving away a little.

"Sadie, please, don't hate me! _Please!_ He chose you, Sadie, _you_, not me." Jude said fast trying to get Sadie to say something, trying to explain, "Everything is fine, okay? You have him, he has you. I didn't get him, just please don't hate me."

Sadie shook her head then snapped back to reality to see that Jude had tears in her eyes and that one single tear made its way down her cheek. Sadie pulled Jude into a hug as her eyes started to water.

"That's why you went to this guy, isn't Jude?" Sadie whispered into Jude's hair. "You needed someone, anyone."

Jude hesitated for a second before nodding into Sadie's shoulder.

"Oh, Jude, I'm so sorry…" Sadie whispered. They sat like that for a while before Jude finally pulled back.

Jude gave Sadie a wobbly smile as she wiped her eyes. Sadie smiled back as she did the same.

"I have some good news; at least what I hope is good news." Sadie announced.

"What's that?" Jude asked as she went back to eating her cookies.

"I'm moving back home." Sadie said happily.

Jude stopped eating and put down her cookie, "Sadie are you serious?"

Sadie nodded.

"Are you moving back here or are you and Tommy going to get your own place?" Jude asked.

"I'm moving back here, and Tommy is going to get his own place." Sadie said, "With you in the condition you're in and mom's normally working and I know you'll be at the Studio most of the day, so I thought you might need the help."

"That's great, but I don't want you to not move in with Tommy because of me." Jude told Sadie.

"We'll I do want to be back here with you and mom you know. Besides, it may just be temporary." Sadie said, "Tommy is going tomorrow to see if Georgia will give him his job back, and if she does, then that means late hours. I would rather be home with people than alone."

"This is great!" Jude said as she got up and hugged Sadie.

Their conversation then turned to babies. They ended up staying up for a couple more hours before finally going back to bed. But what they didn't know was that Tommy was standing there for most of the first part of their conversation. When the talk turned to babies, Tommy silently went back to bed.

_I did that to her, even if I didn't literally get her pregnant. It's still my fault…_

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For the next week Sadie and Jude spent most of their time shopping. Christmas was only a week away. Tommy went and begged Georgia for his job back, only she never told him he had to beg. Georgia was ready to give Tommy back his position, but she didn't want to seem too easy on him. Kwest gladly went back to working under Tommy. Kwest also, reluctantly gave Tommy back his viper. It was four days before Christmas when somebody knocked on Jude's door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Jude yelled as she slowly made her way to the door.

Sadie ended up beating her to the door and had it open by the time she got there.

"Jamie! Kat!" Jude screamed opening her arms.

Kat was the first to embrace her, and then Jamie.

"Wow, I don't remember seeing you this big the last time I saw you," Jamie said smiling.

"It must have been those cheese balls," Jude said giving Jamie a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, I bet. By the way, you still owe me." Jamie told her.

Jamie, Jude and Kat all laughed as they went to sit in the living room. They sat talking for an hour before the door opened.

"Tommy?" Jamie asked surprised.

Tommy looked over and came into the living room, "Kat, Jamie, nice to see you."

"Uh… you too…" Kat said.

Jude looked at Jamie and Kat who were looking at her, with a question in their eyes. She shook her head a little and they both understood.

"So what are you doing here, Quincy?" Jamie asked.

"I needed a place to stay until the holiday is over," Tommy said simply as he sat down next to Jude. In reaction, Jude scooted over so there was at least two feet between her and Tommy. Tommy noticed this but gave no hint to it.

"And then what, you'll be leaving again, I hope," Jamie said sweetly.

"Gone from the house but not the city, sorry Jamie," Tommy told him.

"Well a person can hope, right?" Jamie said looking Tommy in the eye.

"Looks like you got some guts while you were gone," Tommy stated, "How surprising. But you still haven't grown up."

"You're a fine one to talk about growing up, Quincy." Jamie shot back.

"Boys, enough," Jude said trying to keep Jamie from bringing her lie into the argument.

"Yeah, Jamie, we should be going anyways. We haven't even told my parents we're back." Kat said as she got up and pulled Jamie along with her, "Jude we'll see you later." Kat said as she shoved Jamie out the door and looked back at Jude smiling slightly.

Tommy and Jude sat in an uncomfortable silence. Tommy shifted a little, Jude played with the end of her hair.

"Jude..." Tommy began.

"Ah… Ouch!" Jude said as she gritted her teeth and pressed her hand to her belly.

"What? What's wrong?" Tommy asked anxiously as he sat up facing Jude.

"Oh, it's nothing… the baby just kicked." Jude said smiling a bit, "It hurts sometimes."

"Can… Can I feel?" Tommy asked hesitantly.

"Uh… um… yeah I, uh, guess so," Jude said as she took his had and put it on her belly in a certain spot.

"Wait… wait…" Jude said gently waiting for the kick as she pressed his hand down, "There! Do you feel it?"

"Yeah… wow, does he do that a lot?" Tommy asked in awe as he stared at her belly where their hands pressed and the baby touched.

"Yep, it's mostly surprising, but every now and then it hurts." Jude said softly.

They fell silent again as the baby kicked a few more times. Both Tommy and Jude smiled as the baby kicked a few more times.

"Are you excited for the baby to come?" Tommy asked tenderly.

"Oh, yes. I can't wait," Jude said smiling, "For one I cant wait to be skinny and not fat and ugly. But mostly, I just want to hold him."

"Him?" Tommy asked dazed as he stared at Jude.

Jude gave him a dimply smile and said, "It's going to be a boy."

"Do you know for sure or are you hoping?" Tommy asked.

"I didn't let the doctor tell me, but I know, mothers intuition." Jude stated.

Tommy smiled back at her, and then suddenly blurted out, "You're not fat and ugly."

"What?" Jude asked taken back.

"Well… uh, I meant…nothing…" Tommy said as he looked away.

"No, Tommy, tell me, what did you say?" Jude asked seriously, "Come on, Quincy, spit it out."

"I just said you're not fat and ugly," Tommy said nervously, "I just meant that you're beautiful. I think you're more beautiful like this than when you were before. Glowing and all…"

"Tommy…"

"Tom!" Sadie said as she walked down the stairs, "Are you ready for dinner?"

"Uh, what?" Tommy said a little lost.

"What are you guys doing?" Sadie asked once she came into the room and saw Tommy's hand on Jude's stomach.

Tommy followed Sadie's gaze and then immediately removed his hand saying, "Oh it was nothing, I just wanted to feel the baby kick. That's all."

Jude stared into space while this happened. Then she got up and left smiled at Sadie and excused herself for the bathroom. Leaving Sadie and Tommy to go to dinner. Jude went to her room and when she heard the front door close went to her window and watch as Tommy and Sadie drove off in the viper.

_No… please, God, no…_ Jude thought, _I can't fall in love with him again. He loves Sadie, you can't come in-between them. For a moment, this baby was ours… ours… No, it can't be ours, its mine. He can't know, it will only ruin his life. Maybe one day, before I die or he dies, I'll tell him it's his…maybe._

Jude put her hand on her belly and said softly, "Its okay baby, we don't need him. You've got me, and I've got you. We'll be just fine."

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It was two in the morning again when Jude woke up from her blissful sleep. She looked around confused not knowing why she was awakened. Then she felt the sharp pain in her belly and groaned. She now knew. Once the pain went away, she got up from the bed and slowly stood up. Walking towards the door to her room, she stopped suddenly when a gush of water poured out of her.

Looking down Jude said to herself, "This is so sick!"

Jude turned around changed as quickly as she could then made her way out of her room and stood in the hall for a second. _Do I go to Sadie's door, right next door, or mom's down the hall?... _Jude looked back and forth, _Sadie._

Jude knocked briskly on the door, and then opened it.

"Sadie?" Jude said loudly, "Sadie… wake up."

Suddenly Tommy and Sadie both popped their heads up.

"Oh, uh… um… never mind," Jude said as she walked out of the room a little dazed.

"Jude, wait!" Tommy called.

Jude walked a few feet wobbly when she bent over and screamed. Tommy came running out of Sadie's room to see Jude hunched over on the hall floor.

"Oh God, Jude!" Tommy yelled as he bent next to her. "What's wrong? Jude?"

Jude grabbed Tommy's hand when it came close to her and said between clenched teeth, "The baby…"

"Oh God…" Tommy whispered scared and not knowing what to do.

"Tom, what's wrong?" Sadie asked as she came out of her room.

Tommy looked at Sadie, frightened, "The baby is coming."

"Oh God…" Sadie said wide eyed then ran down the hall, "Mom! Wake up! Jude's in labor."

Victoria flung the door open and rushed out of the room. She took in Jude on the floor and a frightened Tommy and Sadie and announced, "We have to get her to the hospital now."

Tommy nodded then looked at Jude. When she started to straighten up, Tommy picked her up in his arms.

"Okay, I'll go get my keys. Sadie, there is a bag in Jude's closet, go get it." Victoria said as she ran to her room. Emerging a second later to lead the way down the car. Victoria drove, with Sadie sitting shot gun. Tommy sat in the back holding Jude in his arms as she groaned every once in a while.

Once they got to the hospital Tommy reluctantly put Jude in a wheel chair. He held her hand as she was wheeled up to the receptionist, up until the part where she had to leave and go with the nurse.

"Sir, you need to let go, so I can take her back," the nurse said gently, "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

Jude looked at Tommy just as frightened as he felt. He squeezed her hand and let go slowly. Victoria walked off with Jude as she was taken into a room. Tommy watched until she was completely out of eyesight. Then he walked to a chair in the waiting area and sat down with his head in his hands. Sadie called Kwest, Georgia, EJ, Jamie, Kat and last of all, her dad.

With in the hour, everyone showed up.

"How is she?" Georgia asked as she walked up.

"She's fine. The doctor said it may take a while, though." Sadie told Georgia and everyone.

While they were talking, Tommy sat in the chair staring into space. His hair was sticking up at odd ends and his eyes were wide and seemed to be vacant.

"Tommy?...Tommy!" Kwest said as he hit Tommy in the arm to get his attention.

"Huh?" Tommy said in a daze.

Kwest stared at Tommy and shook his head as he walked away to talk to Sadie and Georgia. For the rest of the night, they sat and waited. Everyone was asleep in the waiting room as Tommy still sat wide awake. Finally he got up and started walking. Before he knew it he was standing at the window of the nursery. He stared at all the new born babies thinking.

_Pain, Jude's going through pain… again… she's hurting. Will she ever stop being hurt? Why Jude? Oh God, so much pain… I can still hear her scream. Why can't I forget her scream? It's echoing in my ears, her pain… Please don't die Jude… please… I still need you even if I can't be with you… So much pain… I always cause her pain. It's my fault, its all my fault. She's hurting, I did this to her…Don't die, Jude…My mom died giving birth to me, Jude is going to die… No! She can't! I won't let her. The last thing my mom thought of me was pain… the last thing Jude will think is pain… No… God, don't let her die, please…I need her…_

Soundless tears fell from Tommy's face as he relived his deepest fears.

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Half an hour later Tommy walked back to the waiting room to find everyone was still asleep. He turned around to go find something to drink when he saw Victoria walking towards him. A bright smile plastered across her face. Tommy met her half way feeling suddenly giddy.

"How's Jude?" Tommy asked anxiously.

"She's doing great. A little tired but it's expected." Victoria said with a smile.

"And… the baby?" Tommy asked hesitantly.

"Doing great, I now have a healthy grandson!" Victoria answered proudly. "I was coming to tell everyone, but I see they're still sleeping."

"Yeah…" Tommy drifted off, "Can I see Jude?"

"She's very tired, probably already asleep, but I guess it won't hurt…" Victoria said eyeing Tommy for the first time since they got there, "She's in room 350, go and see her."

Nodding Tommy walked off briskly. He followed the doors until he came to Jude's room and he stopped. Taking a deep breath, he walked in. Jude was sleeping peacefully when walked in, so he quietly shut the door and walked over to stand next to her. For five minutes he just stood there staring at her. Gently he pushed a piece of hair from her face.

"Thank God you're alive…" Tommy whispered as he gently kissed her forehead.

When Tommy pulled away, Jude started waking up and opened her eyes.

"Tommy…?" Jude whispered confused.

"Right here," Tommy said as he took her hand smiling.

Jude looked at him and smiled tiredly.

"How are you doin', girl?" Tommy asked quietly as he rubbed her hand.

"Okay I think…" Jude said lightly, "Just really sleepy. Have you seen him?"

"Nope, not yet" Tommy said as he shook his head.

"Oh…" Jude said disappointed, "I want to see him."

Just as she said that Victoria came in with a nurse carrying a little bundle.

"Somebody wanted to meet you," The nurse said as she walked over to Jude, handing her the baby.

Jude took the baby very gently; afraid he might break at one wrong movement. She gazed down at the little face, moving the blanket hiding him from her vision. She smiled at the little bundle as she touched his cheek gently. He had bright blue eyes and dark hair.

_You look too much like your father_ Jude thought to herself.

Glancing up Jude saw Tommy watching her with the baby. She smiled as looked into his eyes and then down at the baby.

_Even if he may not know it, I think I should let him hold his son _Jude thought to herself.

"Tommy, do you want to hold him?" Jude asked as she looked back up.

"No… no… I couldn't, no, its fine… I don't need to…" Tommy rambled nervously, "He's too small, he's fine with you… I can see him, its fine."

"Tommy," Jude said giving him a look, "Take the baby."

Tommy nodded dumbly as he moved close to take the bundle. Jude saw his hands shaking as she carefully handed her baby to the father he may never know. Tommy stood up looking down at the little face, frowning slightly.

_Those blue eyes look very familiar…_

Tommy looked at Jude questionably. Jude glanced away knowing what he was thinking. Tommy looked back down at the face the look eerily like him. Suddenly the baby started crying and Tommy looked around a little frightened.

"Oh poor baby, little thing wants to be fed," The nurse announced as she took the baby from Tommy and turned to Jude, "You ready to feed the little tyke?"

Jude nodded as Tommy turned around and left. He walked back to the waiting room to find everyone awake and smiling.

"Tommy! Did you see the baby?" Sadie asked running towards Tommy excitedly.

Tommy looked at Sadie then mentally shook himself, "Uh, yeah. Blued eyed, dark haired angel."

"Awe, what did she name him?" Sadie asked even giddier.

"I don't think she has yet, she was getting ready to nurse when I left." Tommy told Sadie.

"What's going on?" Jamie asked as he and everyone else walked up.

Sadie turned around to tell them what Tommy said. Tommy stood in silence not knowing what to think. _Should he believe Jude or should he believe his gut feeling?_

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When Jude was done nursing, the mob of people taking over the waiting room came to crowd her room. Everyone was there, except Tommy. While everyone was ooo-ing and ahh-ing, Tommy left the hospital. It took a few hours for everyone to finally get sick of the hospital enough to clear out with one excuse and another. Jude convinced her mom and Sadie that she would be fine alone for the night. So, Victoria and Sadie left when it was getting dark outside. Jude barely noticed their absence she was too tired to notice much of anything. The baby was taken down to the nursery for the night so they could keep an eye on him.

Jude was sleeping deeply when Tommy walked into the room. Everyone at the hospital thought Tommy was the father so they didn't stop him from entering after visiting hours. He sat down in the chair next to Jude's bed setting a small teddy bear on the table by Jude. He left earlier to think, but found himself at a baby store. He saw the small light blue teddy bear, last one left, and bought it.

An hour later, Jude started to wake up. She opened her eyes to find Tommy staring at her. For a second it scared her to be stared at so intently, but she was used to it.

"Hello," Jude said trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.

"Good evening, sleepy head," Tommy said fondly.

"Hey, you try having a baby and you tell me if you're tired after wards!" Jude said in mock anger.

Tommy put his hands up in defense, "I surrender, you deserve your sleep, oh great punk princess."

"I'm guessing you heard me…" Jude said quietly.

"Oh don't you know it… blue eyed prince, I don't know if that really fits me…" Tommy said thoughtfully.

"No you're absolutely right, pain in the butt is more like it." Jude said sarcastically.

Tommy gave Jude a grin, "You know you love me."

"You wish Quincy." Jude shot back.

_You're right; I do_ Tommy thought looking at Jude.

"What's on your mind Tommy?" Jude asked seeing the conflict in his eyes.

"Jude I have to know…" Tommy began.

"No, Tommy, I told you he's not yours" Jude told Tommy looking away, "You don't have to worry. He's not your responsibility."

"Jude, he looks exactly like me, how is he not mine?" Tommy asked getting frustrated.

"Conceited at all, Quincy?" Jude asked before getting serious.

"Jude, how do you explain dark hair and blue eyes, which happen to look exactly like mine?" Tommy stated.

"Easy Quincy, his father had dark hair, and all babies are born with light blue eyes." Jude said angrily, "They will probably change to green or something."

"Right, Jude. Keep telling yourself that!" Tommy yelled.

"I will 'cause he's not yours!" Jude yelled back.

"I don't believe you! I want a test done to prove I am not the father!" Tommy said quietly, with the steel edge to his voice.

Jude stared at Tommy in shock; _He wouldn't dare… would he?_

Suddenly Jude said coldly, "Don't you dare go near my son. Just stay away from him and me both. Whatever you think you know, you don't. Neither of us do nor ever will need you! So stay out of our lives! If you think about coming near him or me, I swear I will bring the world down on your head. You do _not_ want to mess with me when it comes to that baby! Got it Tommy? I can ruin your life if you try, and I dare you to try."

Tommy took a step back as Jude hissed those icy words to him. He could see the dangerous gleam in her eyes, knew she was not joking.

_Great, now she hates me! _Tommy thought, _Maybe it is best I just leave them both alone. I mean she just had a baby and here I am, getting her all riled up. Before you know it, I'll be breaking her again. She's probably right, he's probably not mine anyways… I should just leave now before I really cause some damage. _

"Okay Jude, fine. I'll leave you and him alone." Tommy said quietly as he walked to the door, deflating Jude with his words.

Tommy stopped when he had the door open and looked back at Jude watching him wide-eyed.

"What did you name him? Can I at least know that much?" Tommy said sadly.

Jude watched Tommy for a second more before saying, "Lucien. Luc for short."

"Luc." Tommy whispered to himself before nodding and turning around and leaving.

Jude stared as the door shut, _did I just tell Tommy to stay out of my life? And his sons?... Oh, no… I did. It's for the best right?... right. _

Something caught Jude's attention out of the corner of her eye. She looked over to find a small light blue teddy bear. Jude picked it up, and seeing that the tag was written on, turned it and read the writing, "To a Blue Eyed Angel, From a Blue Eyed Prince."

Jude smiled sadly as she read those words. A tear escaped down her cheek as regretted what she had said. _Tommy… why do you do this to me? Why do you have to be the enemy one second then prince charming the next? _

Jude hid her face in the pillow crying softly.

When Tommy left Jude's room, he just walked. Not knowing where he was headed or where he was going, he just walked. Down one hall, to another, by this door and that. Before he knew it he was standing at the nursery window looking at his blue eyed angel.

_How could you not be mine? _Tommy thought desperately, _my blue eyed angel. No, not mine, Jude's and some random guys. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me, that's why I think there's a strong connection between you and I. I wanted that bond with Jude, I needed it. I guess its time I face the truth, I don't have a son… _

Tommy took one last look at Luc, and then left the hospital to go and move his stuff from the Harrison residence and to his new apartment. Jude said to leave them alone, and he meant to do just that.


	4. Chapter 4 Goodbye

**I'm glad you guys like this. I'm sorry for not posting more. I've just been really busy. Here's more…**

**Chapter 4: Goodbye**

_Dear Diary,_

_I realized something recently. I realized that everything you want to say tomorrow becomes too late for tomorrow. I guess that's why they say "Seize the day!" Because you loose today too fast and if your always waiting for a tomorrow, you'll be waiting forever. You have to say the things meant for today and you can't wait and say them tomorrow, because they weren't meant for then. When you wait, you come to face with the fact that it's too late and what you wanted to say may never be said. Too bad I never realized this until it was too late._

The day after Tommy left the Harrison house hold, Jude and Luc came home. When Sadie told Jude that Tommy had left and was going to spend Christmas with Kwest, Jude felt horrible. Nobody should be alone on Christmas; Kwest didn't count as not being alone. So, Jude talked Sadie and her mom into inviting, or should I say persuading, Tommy and Kwest over for Christmas. Early in the afternoon on Christmas day Tommy, Kwest and Stuart all showed up. Jude was playing her new Ibanez DTMETBL (guitar I want lol). Sadie was sitting in the living room talking to Luc about some foreign subject, nobody including Luc paid attention.

"…Look at my blued eyed angel… His smiling face…" Jude sung as she watched Luc and Sadie together.

Jude sat on the floor writing away with Sadie sitting across from her cooing at Luc.

Knock. Knock.

Sadie and Jude looked up when the door opened and Stuart poked his head around the door. He smiled slightly at Jude and Sadie before saying, "Sorry, I couldn't wait for you two to get up, it's freezing out here."

As Stuart walked in, Tommy and Kwest walked in behind him. Kwest had a huge grin on his face, as Tommy looked as if he was waiting for someone to come at him with a club. Sadie smiled when she saw Tommy and got up with Luc to greet him. Sadie kissed Tommy on the cheek as Kwest walked over to Jude.

"So, working on a new song? Nice guitar you got there." Kwest said as he sat next to Jude. "Can I hear your song?"

Jude looked over at Kwest and just stared at him while he talked, barely comprehending. Shaking herself out of it, Jude smiled at Kwest.

"It's not done yet, but I'll have it ready in time for tomorrow. I can't wait to get back to work," Jude told Kwest excitedly.

Kwest laughed, "I can tell."

"Sadie! Can you come here?" Victoria yelled from the kitchen.

Sadie was still standing with Tommy when Victoria called. Sadie looked at Tommy and put Luc in his arms before leaving. Tommy stared after Sadie horrified, and then he looked at Jude watching him and gulped. He gave her a shaky smile.

"Tommy can you come here?" Jude asked staring at Tommy.

Tommy nodded still holding Luc and walked over to her.

"I'm not going to attack you, Quincy." Jude said with humor.

"I know Jude, but I made a promise and I intend to keep it." Tommy stated as he handed Luc to Kwest's waiting arms.

"Tommy…" Jude said as Tommy turned around and walked into the kitchen.

Jude gave a frustrated sigh staring after him.

"Wooky at your mommy, she's all frwusterated wif widdle Tommy Q. Uh-oh!" Kwest cooed to Luc.

Jude gave Kwest a glance then rolled her eyes. Kwest saw the whole thing and started chuckling.

The rest of the day and night went by smoothly. Jude and Tommy never went near each other. Tommy stayed with Sadie in their own world. Kwest and Jude started playing Christmas songs on the piano. Luc was put to bed after he was fed. Jude stood and watched him sleep for a few minutes before going back down stairs, she found that she loved watching him sleep. Around eleven that night, everyone left. Sadie slipped out and went to Tommy's for the night. Even though Jude swore up and down it didn't bother her, it did. But it's what she asked for, so she had to take it in and deal with it.

The next day, Jude woke up early. She was excited about getting back to work. Once Jude had taken a shower and got ready, she hurried and got Luc changed and dressed. Jude put Luc in the car seat and left to G-Major. They pulled into the parking lot and Jude jumped out of the car and grabbed Luc and his diaper bag. When she entered, Georgia was the first to spot her.

"Jude! You should be at home, resting!" Georgia yelled out.

"Georgia, I have to work, please! This place is like my second home. Just let me record this one song, and then I'll go home and rest, I promise." Jude pleaded.

Georgia stared at her for a few seconds before saying, "Fine, but I want you to stop the second you feel tired." Then she noticed Luc, "Oh! You brought little Luc!"

Jude smiled as Luc stared at Georgia while she cooed over him. EJ came out of a studio and saw Jude.

"Jude! Shouldn't you be at home?" EJ asked walking up then, seeing the baby forgot her question and started cooing to him with Georgia.

Jude laughed, "Okay guys, I am going to record." Jude turned and walked with Luc into Studio A.

"Kwest, we're here!" Jude announced as she stepped through the doors. Stopping when she saw Tommy sitting with Kwest.

"Jude! You're early," Kwest said as he got up and came over to grab Luc from her.

Jude was still looking at Tommy when she responded, "Uh, yeah, couldn't wait to be back, but I can only record one song, I promised Georgia I'd go home and rest."

Kwest was ignoring the tension in the room as he put Luc's car seat on the chair next to him, "Is wittle Lukey weady to make some music? Watch mommy sing? Yeah, your weady aren't you Luc, yes you are, yes you are…"

Jude and Tommy forgot their tension as they looked at Kwest. Kwest looked up and smiled then asked, "Is wittle Jude weady?"

Jude laughed as she walked over to Kwest. "Yes wittle Jude is weady."

Bending down Jude touched Luc's cheek then his hand as she smiled down at him, "You be a good boy, Luc. Mommy will be just in there," Jude looked up at Kwest who seemed to have a hard time not laughing, "Call me if he cries, okay?"

Kwest could only nod, for when Jude bent over Luc; she had been showing Tommy her backside. Tommy sat there with a small smile on his lips as he stared, after all how often does this happen? Suddenly Tommy looked up at Kwest and raised his eye brows making Kwest break down and start laughing. Jude looked at Kwest like he lost his mind. Then following Kwest's gaze looked at Tommy who at that moment shot her an award winning smile. Frowning Jude shook her head.

Jude stood and faced Tommy, "Don't you have a job to do?"

"This is it," Tommy said as he spread his arms out.

"Isn't there somewhere else you can go?" Jude asked rudely.

"Nope, you're stuck with me for today since this is the last open Studio and I just happen to be the one signed to it." Tommy told her calmly, "I was going to stay away but Kwest begged me to let you use it. You should be thanking me, for letting you use my Studio time."

"Never going to happen Quincy. But since this happens to be the only open Studio, I'll put up with your presence, but Kwest is my producer." Jude said. Tommy in reaction put up his hands, showing he wasn't going to touch a thing.

Jude eyed him before walking out of the Studio and into the sound booth. Putting on the head phones, Jude grabbed a guitar and sat on the stool in front of the mike.

"Ready?" Kwest asked. Jude gave him a thumbs up.

Kwest switched on the record button then sat back in his chair. Jude started playing a slow rhythm. Kwest looked over at Tommy who was starring at Jude as she played.

_These two have it so bad , _Kwest thought, _too bad their both too stubborn. And what about little Luc? Didn't he deserve a father… I wonder if Tommy is the father. It would answer a few questions, and yet, answer none. Damn, I wish I knew the story… _

Kwest looked back at Jude, then to Tommy who was looking at Luc who in turn was watching Tommy. Kwest had moved the car seat so Tommy had a good view to the little person inside. Kwest smiled a little, and then Jude's voice filled their ears. Everyone's attention was on her.

"…_What's going on?_

_Did that just happen?_

_One kiss leads to another_

_We've gone too deep to recover…"_

Jude and Tommy stared at each other.

"…_More mistakes you realize way too late_

_You can't take this one away…"_

Tommy rose suddenly, leaving the Studio and G-Major with out hearing the rest of the song.

"…_It never happened_

_Whispered words in my ear_

_It never happened_

_Is that why I'm laying here?_

_It never happened_

_Tell someone who cares_

_It never happened_

_What is it you fear...?"_

Jude closed her eyes after Tommy left, her voice getting raw.

_"…Don't tell me this_

_Then walk away_

_Keep denying what you feel_

_You're running from what's real…"_

_Yes he does, always has… _Kwest thought to himself.

"… _Forget it, you know it's there_

_Feel it, you know it's real…"_

Jude took a breath then continued closing her eyes tighter, the music faster.

"…_It never happened_

_Whispered words in my ear_

_It never happened_

_Is that why I'm laying here?_

_It never happened_

_Tell someone who cares_

_It never happened_

_What is it you fear...?"_

Jude opened her eyes as the music slowed, looking at Luc through the window.

"… _Keep saying it never happened_

_Lying in your sexy way_

_Look at your blue eyed angel_

_His smiling face_

_Look at your flesh and blood_

_And tell me again…"_

Jude continued to look at Luc as the music pick up beat again.

"…_It never happened_

_Whispered words in my ear_

_It never happened_

_Is that why I'm laying here?_

_It never happened_

_Tell someone who cares_

_It never happened_

_What is it you fear...?"_

Closing her eyes, Jude finished the song singing softly.

"… _It never happened_

_No, never happened_

_It couldn't happen…_

_Then why am I here...?_

_Why is our blue eyed angel right here...?_

_It never happened…_

_It couldn't happen…_

_Then what is it I still feel?_

_What is it you still fear?_

_It never happened…_

_No, it never happened…"_

Jude opened her eyes as she finished looking at Kwest, tears running down her face.

_Now I know what happened._

Jude looked away from Kwest, just realizing what she confessed.

_  
Oh no… oh no… Kwest is going to freak! I bet he is freaking. I have to go, leave before he says anything, just leave. _

Putting the guitar back on the stand, Jude left the sound booth. When she walked into the Studio, she didn't look at Kwest, just went straight to Luc. As she put her hand on the car seat handle, Kwest stopped her from leaving.

"Jude…" Kwest said as he put his hand on hers.

Jude closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. After a second or two Jude turned to Kwest. Understanding her need, Kwest wrapped his arms around her as she cried in his shirt. They stood that way for a while, as Jude cried her heart out. Kwest stared at Luc while he tried to calm Jude.

_He looks so much like Tommy… _Kwest thought, _how could I of not known? How could he not of known? _

Finally, Jude stopped crying. Sniffling she let go of Kwest and stepped back giving him a watery smile. Jude looked down at Luc who slept peacefully; reaching out a hand she lightly touched his cheek. Kwest watched her for a moment before speaking.

"What's going on Jude? Why does Tommy not know?" Kwest asked Jude quietly.

Jude gave Kwest a sad smile before turning to sit in one of the office chairs.

"He doesn't know because I don't want him to," Jude told Kwest looking up at him, "that and he's just dumb because Luc looks exactly like him. But he believed me when I told him it wasn't."

"Tommy's an idiot," Kwest muttered, "So then, what happened? Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but Jude, I have to know."

Jude looked at Kwest a second then nodded as she looked away and watched Luc sleep, "You should know the story, I mean you are Tommy's best friend, besides, Jamie and Kat know. It happened on my eighteenth birthday…"And Jude told him the story.

For the first time, Jude wasn't crying when she finished. Whether it was all the tears she already cried or if she was finally at peace with what happened, she didn't know. Kwest said nothing for about ten minutes, just stared into space. Luc started fussing, so Jude got up and picked him up. Cradling Luc, she sung to him. Finally, after a few minutes he was back asleep. Jude put him back into the car seat knowing that he'd be hungry in a few more minutes. When Jude started gathering her stuff to leave, Kwest spoke.

"So, Tommy doesn't know…" Kwest said breaking the silence.

Jude looked up at him and shook her head, "No he doesn't…"

"He needs to know, Jude." Kwest stated.

Jude ran to Kwest in a flash, she took his hands desperately.

"No! Kwest, he can't know! Please, you cannot tell him." Jude pleaded squeezing Kwest's hands.

"Jude, you cannot hide this from him! You have to tell him. If you don't want me to, then you have to! I can't keep something this big from him." Kwest told Jude as he took his hands out of hers. "It's not fair to him."

"He doesn't want to know, if he did, don't you think he wouldn't be so easily fooled?" Jude said frantically.

"He's confused, Jude. You told him it was another guy! He doesn't know what to believe!" Kwest yelled.

"Will you keep your voice down!" Jude hissed, looking back to make sure Luc was still asleep.

"Sorry, but I have to get it through your thick, stubborn head sooner or later," Kwest said quietly, "He has to know. Trust me, if Tommy had a kid, he would want to know."

"Listen I know! Okay? I know! I just can't let him know." Jude told Kwest softly, "I finally have someone, to love me. Me! Somebody who won't break my heart. If Tommy knew he'd mess it all up, he'd get under my skin again! Then he'd just break me, its all he ever does."

"Jude, no offense, but this is about more than you. It's about your child and Tommy too." Kwest said gently.

"I know… god, do I know. I'm just not ready for him to know." Jude said in a whisper as she sat back down.

"By the time you're ready to tell him, it'll be too late. You have to do it soon." Kwest told Jude, "If you don't do it soon, then I am going to be forced to do it."

Jude looked up at Kwest then at Luc, her eyes filled with tears. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Kwest.

"Fine, I'll tell him…" Jude said sadly, "I'll tell him tomorrow. Okay? Happy?"

"You're doing the right thing Jude." Kwest tried to convince her.

"Yeah, tell someone who cares." Jude got up and grabbed Luc's bag and then grabbed him. Walking out the door, she looked back saying, "I'm going home. Oh, and get rid of that recording, I don't want anyone to hear it."

"Just don't forget…" Kwest hinted.

"I know, Kwest. I'll tell him, tomorrow." Jude said turning around and walking out of G-Major.

When Tommy left the Studio, he drove around for a while before parking down by the docks where he and Jude first worked on a song together. He sat there just thinking.

_What am I going to do? I can't stay here and stay away from her. She's too much of a temptation… and what about Sadie? For the last couple of months she's been waiting for a proposal. Every time we walk by a jewelry story she'd show me her favorite rings then stare at her finger after we left. I almost did it, almost asked her… but I couldn't. Just like I couldn't sleep with her… I wanted to, so bad, but not with Jude still in my head. Not when I felt Jude every second of the day. Jude's right, I am hiding behind Sadie, she is my safety. So much easier to feel for her… after all, it isn't as real as I hoped. Not as real as Jude. But now Jude hates me… that's what I wanted right? Her to hate me… I may of wanted it, but it's not what I want now. She'll never forgive me… she told me to stay away from her… that's just not Jude… unless she's hurt. I hurt her, I always do. I always will… no! I won't any more! She deserves better… And Luc… ahhh it hurts to think of him… Of what I want more than anything… for him to be mine! No, don't go there… I think its time I do the right thing for once… Do it for Jude… She needs this, even if she doesn't know it yet … _

Tommy turned on the Viper and sped off, in the direction of the Harrison household. Determined to set things right for Jude.

Tommy pulled up to the Harrison household. He got out of the car and walked slowly up to the door. For a few seconds he stood at the door thinking, _Should I be doing this? Is this the right thing to do? Yes, it has to be… there's nothing else I could do to make things right, the way she wants them._

Taking a deep breath, Tommy knocked briskly on the door. A few seconds later Sadie opened the door. When she saw it was him, her face lit up.

"Tom! I am so glad to see you!" Sadie said excitedly as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house.

"Sadie…" Tommy said in greeting. Sadie reached up and kissed him, but Tommy pulled away. "I need to talk to you."

Sadie looked at Tommy for a moment, then nodded and led him to the living room. She sat down in one of the chairs. Tommy stood by her, and then squatted down in front of her so he was eye level with her.

"Sadie, things between us have been great…" Tommy began.

"Oh my God, Tom, is this what I think it is!" Sadie asked delightedly shocked. A huge grin spread across her lips as she put her hands into his.

"Wha… What do you think this is?" Tommy asked confused glancing down at her hands in his.

"Oh, nothing, continue…" Sadie told him sitting up straighter, "Forget I said anything."

It took Tommy a few minutes of looking at their positions to take her meaning.

"No, Sadie, you don't understand… I'm not purposing to you… I'm sorry if I mislead you…but…" Tommy said gently.

Sadie didn't know what to say, _If he's not purposing… then what's going on…? Oh… no…he's not… _

"I don't know how to say this, other than put it simply…" Tommy continued, "Sadie… I think it's time we broke up."

_He did._

Sadie looked away from Tommy pulling her hands from his as tears filled her eyes, "Why Tom?" She asked hoarsely.

"Sadie… don't cry, please, I'm not worth it…" Tommy said as he looked away too, "It's just… I… there's…" Tommy sighed, "Sadie, it's just really complicated. I don't want to hurt you, but… I can't do this anymore… there's…"

"Someone else." Sadie said simply.

Tommy looked at Sadie sharply, she was watching him. "Why do you say that?"

"Oh c'mon Tom, you've been in this whole other world for the past year. I've known for a long time that there was always someone else on your mind. But foolish me! I thought that maybe someday, you'd come to love me… to want to be with me. I should have given up after the first year. Instead I wasted my time with somebody who loves somebody else." Sadie ranted softly as tears escaped her eyes, "So, who is she Tom? Who is this girl that you can't give up? Who means more than I do to you?"

Tommy turned his head away as he got up and sat on the couch, looking into space. "Just some girl, Sadie. I can't tell you who, even if I wanted to, I can't. Especially because there is no her and I, I'm not leaving you for another girl, Sadie."

Sadie watched Tommy as he spoke. He sounded so sad, so tired. Like he'd lost his heart and gave up hope of finding it again. His eyes were blank, which Sadie knew meant that something was ripping him apart. The same look he left with months ago.

"Then what's going on, Tom? Why are you breaking up with me, but not going after the one you obviously love. What am I missing?" Sadie asked as she wiped her tears off her face. She loves Tommy, which is exactly why she can't let him do this to himself. Can't let him give up, she may have a broken heart now; but Sadie still hadn't given up hope of finding someone that would love her like she wants.

"She hates me Sadie… so, I'm leaving." Tommy told her closing his eyes, "I give up, I'm going to do exactly what she wants me to do, leave."

"Tom, I'm sure she doesn't mean it," Sadie said softly.

"She does," Tommy said with a hand over his eyes. Tommy moved his hand and looked at Sadie, "Why are you trying to comfort me? Don't you want to kill me? Why aren't you crying? I guess nobody really loved me, huh?"

"Oh knock it off Tom," Sadie said harshly, then softer, "I love you Tom. I have always loved you. Only, you never loved me. I think I have known this was coming for awhile now. I was just too scared to admit it, that's why I am okay with it now. In some odd way, I prepared myself for this. Besides, I just want you to be happy. I'll find someone sooner or later… it's just not you."

"Wow, who would have known Sexy Sadie to be more than a brainless Barbie?" Tommy joked.

Sadie reached over and smacked him in the arm, "Shut up. At least I have more brains than you do."

"I don't argue with you there," Tommy said quietly.

"Tom, please, just talk to me… I know I can help! Just let me." Sadie pleaded.

Tommy shook his head and rose to his feet. "There's no use, Sadie. It's over. I have to leave."

Sadie rose with Tommy and walked him to the door.

"Fine, just run. But you're making another mistake, Tom." Sadie told him giving him a hug. Tommy hugged Sadie then released her, turning away, Sadie stopped him. "Do you want me to tell Jude or did you already do that?"

_Crap…_ Tommy looked at Sadie, "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?"

"Uh… yeah… one sec." Sadie left and returned a moment later with both items.

Tommy took them and walked over the little table by the door. A few minutes later, he walked back to Sadie, handing her the paper folded up. "Give this to Jude." With that he walked out the door and into his car, driving off.

_What was that?_ Sadie thought to herself confused, _did he seriously give me a note to give Jude telling her he was leaving? What is going on! I am so lost! Lost, dazed, confused, hurt, curious, and a little heart broken… well isn't this just a great day! _

Sadie sighed as she walked up the stairs, went into Jude's room threw the note on Jude's bed then walked into her own room. She crawled onto the bed, falling asleep instantly.

When Jude got home Sadie was still sleeping and her mom was at work. So Jude spent the day changing diapers, feeding mouths; hers and Luc's, and spending quality time with her son. It was around four in the afternoon when Sadie came down the stairs to find Jude sitting on the couch singing softly as she watched Luc sleep next to her.

"Hey," Sadie said sleepily as she sat down in the same chair where Tommy broke up with her, facing Jude.

"Hey yourself, so what's up with you? Sleeping all day," Jude asked giving Sadie a smile.

"Just a lot on my mind, I guess," Sadie told Jude yawning.

"Like what? Do you want to talk about it?" Jude asked concerned.

Sadie gave Jude a slight smile and shook her head, "Maybe some other time."

"Okay…" Jude said trailing off. Luc started to wake up, fussing a little. "And look who's up, the little blue eyed angel himself." Jude said to Luc affectionately.

When Jude went to get up to take care of him, Sadie stopped her. "Let me take him."

Jude looked over at Sadie as she made her way over, "Okay… and why do you want to do that? Not that I mind, just curious."

"'Cause he's such a cute little… what did you call him? Blue eyed angel? I like it… Don't we, Luc? Yes I think we do, yes we do," Sadie said picking Luc up, and then she turned to Jude, "Besides, you could use a shower… maybe even a nap."

"Point taken, and thank you," Jude said getting up. She kissed Luc on the head before disappearing up the stairs.

Jude took a long bath, and then when she was done, she crawled into her bed. Never realizing there was a note sitting there.

Jude woke up to a baby crying. Groaning she dragged herself out of bed. Following the sound, she found Sadie trying to calm Luc down. When Sadie turned to face Jude, there were tears in her eyes and falling down her cheeks.

"Sadie what's wrong? What happened?" Jude asked as she hurried down the stairs.

"He won't stop crying! Then the phone rang, and the door bell, then the buzzer, and then my cell phone… and I can't put him down, he just keeps crying, he won't stop!" Sadie said overwhelmed.

"Sadie calm down, you can't expect him to calm down if you won't," Jude said taking Luc from her. "Shhh… its okay…" Jude said trying to calm Luc down. She looked up at Sadie who was now calm, "I'm going to go try and calm him down, okay?"

Sadie nodded sitting down. Jude turned around and walked back up the stairs. Luc had the bonus room, with the bay window. His room had light blue walls, with light blue bedding in his crib and bassinet, curtains, lamps, almost everything was blue. Except the rocking chair by the window, Jude sat in it singing softly to him. He calmed down and eventually fell asleep. Jude stayed in that position for a while before getting up and putting him in the bassinet. She watched him sleep, and then noticed something missing. Looking around, she found what she was looking for on the dresser. Grabbing it she put it in the bassinet with him, lingering her fingers on the teddy bear she smiled. Letting it go, she read the words written on it… _Blue eyed angel._

Jude left the room, leaving the door open and taking the baby monitor with her. She walked down stairs to a quiet Sadie, watching TV. Jude sat next to her and they sat in an uncomfortable silence for ten minutes before Jude couldn't take it.

"Okay Sadie, what is wrong? I can't take this anymore." Jude said looking over at Sadie.

"I don't want to talk about it Jude," Sadie said looking at the TV still.

"You may not want to, but you need to, come on Sadie… we're sisters." Jude said nudging Sadie.

"Fine, do you really want to know?" Sadie asked looking at Jude.

Jude nodded her head.

"Okay… well, Tom broke up with me today." Sadie said without emotion.

"Sadie… I am so sorry… why? Did he tell you?" Jude asked, hiding her whirlwind of emotions. _Tommy broke up with Sadie… but why? I thought he loved her. He told me he loved her… what is going on with him? What does this mean…? _

"He said he couldn't take it, that he was leaving." Sadie said sadly, "There's another girl. I've known it for a long time, but… I love him, I wanted to keep him. It just wasn't meant to be I guess…"

"Wait, Sadie, you said he was leaving. Where's he going? What are you talking about?" Jude asked frowning.

"Oh, I guess you didn't get the note…" Sadie said trailing off.

"What note?" Jude asked urgently.

"The one I left on your bed." Sadie said. Jude got up and ran to her room. Looking around, she found the note in her blankets. She picked it up with trembling hands.

_No he is not doing this again! He can't just leave! Not again… he has a son dammit!_

Jude slowly opened the letter, almost scared to know what he said. She read the letter her heart pounding.

_Dear Jude,_

_I know I have put you through a lot. I never meant to hurt you like I have. I was, or should I say, am confused. I love you Jude. I always will, but I know I messed things up. So, I am doing exactly what you wanted me to do. I'm leaving you and Luc alone, the only way I can is to leave for good. I wish I could say more, but I can't I don't have the time. When you get this I will be gone. Goodbye, girl, you'll always be in my heart and my thoughts._

_Your Blue Eyed Prince_

Jude was crying and shaking her head by the end of the letter. _No! It's not true! He wouldn't do this… he can't give up, not again…_ Jude grabbed her phone and called his cell, there was no answer. She tried his home phone, it was no longer connected.

_This cant be happening… it hasn't even been a day, he couldn't have got far. He has a whole apartment, he can't move in less than 12 hours! His apartment… _

Jude snatched her keys and ran from her room. Yelling to Sadie as she ran out the door, "Sadie watch Luc for a little bit, I'll be right back!"

"Jude, where are you going…?" Sadie yelled back but the door shut before she could finish.

Jumping in her car, Jude sped away. She arrived at Tommy's apartment a few minutes later. The lights were off. _That doesn't always mean he's not home, could be sleeping… _

She ran to his door and knocked. There was no answer, so she opened the door.

"Tommy? Are you here…" Jude stopped in shock.

There was nothing left in the apartment. Jude walked in slowly, and then ran from room to room looking for something, anything that showed he was there. Walking into Tommy's room, or what used to be his room, there was a little end table sitting in the center of the room. On top of it was a piece of paper and a phone. Jude walked to it and grasped the phone and note. She stared at the phone, with tears in her eyes. Then opened the paper, reading:

_Jude, _

_If you're reading this, I'm gone. I don't know if I will ever return, maybe one day I will. And then maybe not. If you came here, you obviously care for me, I wish I knew that you were here, maybe then things could be different, and I wouldn't have to leave. Who am I kidding? You do not belong with me, Jude Harrison, so please don't cry. I love you more than anything, but because of that love, I will always hurt you. I can't live with myself if I keep hurting you. I have to leave, so that way you can be happy, and I know I won't make you happy the way you should be. I broke things off with Sadie, for you. I couldn't date her and think of you every second. You were right in your song, I did realize my mistake too late; just not the one you were thinking about. My mistake was leaving you the first time, of leaving you alone. I should have stayed, been with you. But I was scared, and a part of me still is. I don't know what to tell you. There's nothing more for me to say. Except, that I love you and I will see your face every night, every time I close my eyes. All I ask of you is that you think of me fondly, the way you used to. Don't hate me… I'm doing this for you. I'd do anything, including breaking my own heart for you. Take care of Luc, the little blue eyed angel. And take care of yourself, if something ever happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live. Good-bye Jude, I love you… always and forever._

_Tommy _

Jude fell to her knees bowing her head she cried. Lashing out suddenly she threw the end table to the wall, breaking the leg and putting a hole in the wall. Jude screamed as she hit the floor, shaking her head like a wild animal. After awhile she calmed down, laying on her stomach staring at the phone he left. His cell phone. She knew why he left it, it was his last line to this city, to everyone, to her. Jude grabbed the phone and opened it. A picture of her and Tommy popped up. She remembered the day like it was yesterday. Tommy and her were sitting in the studio when Jude grabbed his phone. She was bored so she started taking pictures of him and herself. When he saw her, he went to get the phone. She talked him into one more picture before planting herself in his lap and squishing her cheek against his and taking a picture.

More tears escaped Jude's eyes as she sobbed on the cold hard wooden floors of the last place Tommy was. With the last connection she had to him. The future was uncertain, whether he would return. But Jude knew one thing… she was too late. That what she should have said yesterday, was too late for today. He made a mistake, but she was guilty of the same one.

Jude ended up crying herself to sleep. Desperate for any feeling of Tommy as she slept in his room; now cold and barren.


	5. Chapter 5 One Happy Family

**Song in this is "Far Away" By Nickelback**

**Chapter Five: One Happy Family?**

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been two years since Tommy left. It doesn't hurt so badly anymore. I just wish I would have told him about Luc before he left. I guess that's how life works, when you're too late, you're too late. Nobody had heard anything about him, not Kwest, not Georgia, and definitely not me. When he said he was leaving, I never thought he meant dropping off the face of the planet. It's almost as if he doesn't exist, that everything was a dream. But I look at Luc and I can still feel how real it was. Luc looks exactly like him, same smile, same eyes and same stubborn nature… or does he get that from me? I can't believe how much Luc has grown. Before I know it he'll be starting school and then getting married, I don't think I am ready for that. _

_Sadie and Kwest are good; can you believe they're engaged? I still can't, the wedding is supposed to be in a month, and Sadie is starting to show. Yes, she's pregnant. Surprise, surprise. Mom and her new hubby, Jake, just got back from their honeymoon. They seem as happy as ever. Dad is dating this woman, Stephanie, she's nice. But I still don't like her much; after all she is Yvette's sister. EJ has been dating some random guy at the Studio; he's not bad looking but way too cocky. I wonder how a guy who works in the mail room can be so cocky… mystery unsolved. Oh and did I mention, Kat and Jamie had their baby, a little girl named Jasmine. She's adorable. I kind of wish Luc was a girl; maybe then he wouldn't look so much like his father… Oh and Georgia and Darius are married, a weekend in Vegas does that to people. Note to self, never go vacation in Las Vegas. _

_It's still hard… not seeing Tommy, but yet seeing his picture every morning, then seeing him in his son. Sadie guessed the truth about Luc and Tommy, and trust me when I say that wasn't a fun conversation. But she wasn't that upset since her and Kwest were dating then. Nobody else knows the truth besides, Jamie, Kat, Sadie and Kwest. I am very proud of myself, it took a year but I finally stopped looking around stores and the Studio, thinking Tommy would walk in the doors. I still carry his cell phone though, hoping beyond reason he'll call. And yet scared that one day he will; scared that he'll walk through those doors, and into my life._

"Mom where is… Luc!" Jude ran after the little legs running down the hall.

Luc giggled loudly as Jude caught up with him and picked him up, "Gotcha, you little monster."

Tucking him under one arm Jude walked back into the kitchen, where her mom was making cookies. Victoria looked up and smiled.

"I am so glad you girls decided to come stay here for Christmas," Victoria said, "Even though you guys live only a mile or so away, it's still not the same with out you."

"I know what you mean, even at the apartment with Luc, I get lonely." Jude said with a smile, "I am more than happy to be home. My forth CD is finished so I have the rest of the month to do nothing. At least here I'll be surrounded by people."

"Hey guys! We're home," Sadie announced as her and Kwest walked into the room.

"Hey, hun. Did you guys have any luck?" Victoria asked as Jude sat Luc on the counter holding him there so he wouldn't fall.

"Yep, and it's really big! You're going to love it!" Sadie announced in delight.

"Where's Jake?" Jude asked looking around.

Just then the front door banged open and they heard a muffled, "Somebody… help..."

Sadie, Kwest and Victoria peaked around the corner, and saw Jake trying to bring the tree into the house with no help. He looked like he was about to fall over.

Sadie shoved Kwest towards Jake saying, "Help him!"

Kwest started walking towards him asking sulkily, "Why do I have to?"

"Because you're a guy, now be one!" Sadie commented turning towards the kitchen with a smile.

"Luc! Where did you get that cookie?" Jude asked looking down at Luc, he promptly pointed to the cookie plate next to him. "You have no manners; don't you know how to ask?"

Luc looked at Jude then stated, "No." Before stuffing the cookie into his mouth.

"Didn't think so," Jude mumbled. Putting her forehead against his she looked at him asking, "What am I going to do with you?" Then started tickling him, he dropped the cookie on the floor before breaking into helpless giggles.

"Awe, I can't wait to hold my little one in my arms…" Sadie said putting a hand over her stomach.

Victoria smiled gently as she frosted some cookies. Sadie walked over and started helping her. Soon they were all laughing and smiling. Luc had swallowed any cookie in his reach and was even bouncier than ever.

"Me down," Luc said looking at Jude. Jude, with out thinking put him down as she said something to Sadie.

Luc took off in a run, giggling. Jude looked down then up just in time to watch him run out of the kitchen and disappear.

"Get back here you little devil!" Jude yelled as she chased after him again.

"I definitely don't miss that," Victoria stated humorously. Sadie and Victoria smiled when the heard Luc being caught, his laughter was infectious.

A few hours later, Kwest and Jake had finally got the tree up. Sadie, Jude, Kwest and Luc decorated it as Jake and Victoria watched smiling. When they finished putting everything on the tree, Jude picked Luc up with the angel in his hand. She lifted him so he could set the angel at the top. Once he did so, they stepped back and turned the tree lights on.

"Pretty," Luc said from Jude's arms.

She squeezed him saying softly, "Yes it is."

Kwest's phone started ringing suddenly. Kwest looked confused as he stared at the number.

"Who is it?" Sadie asked.

Kwest shrugged before he answered it walking away a little. Everyone watching him.

"Hello?"

"Kwest?"

"Yeah… who is this…?"

"Listen man, can you walk outside?"

"Sure…" Kwest said as he looked up at Jude, he knew who it was.

Kwest left out the front door, leaving everyone confused, except Jude. He walked out a few feet before asking, "So… why did you want me to come outside?"

"Because I didn't want Jude to know it's me."

"And how do you know Jude was around me?"

"Because I am across the street."

Kwest looked up suddenly and saw a man standing in the shadows. "Tommy?"

"The one and only."

"What are you doing here? Where have you been?" Kwest asked taking a few steps toward the man lurking in the shadows.

"No, Kwest don't move. I don't want Jude to see me, and if you come over here, she will."

"Tommy, she wants to see you. Why are you hiding?" Kwest asked.

"I left; I broke her heart, Kwest. I have to hide. She doesn't want me back."

"What? Tommy, you don't know anything do you?"

"Don't worry, Kwest she'll love me again… she'll forgive me. Even if it's the last thing I do. Don't tell her I'm back." With that Tommy hung up and walked away.

Kwest could only watch. After a few moments he closed his cell phone and walked back into the house. He walked in to see Jude standing by the window looking at him.

"Did you see him? Was that him?" Jude asked urgently.

Kwest looked down at Luc playing with some toys on the floor and shook his head a little.

"It wasn't him…?" Jude asked brokenly before returning her gaze back outside. "I thought… for sure…"

"I'm sorry Jude…" Kwest said sadly.

Jude nodded still staring out the window. Victoria and Jake got up and went into the kitchen. Sadie grabbed Kwest and tugged him down the hall. Jude heard everyone leave and let her tears fall down her cheeks.

_Why do I keep doing this to myself?_

She fell to her knees crying when she felt a little hand on her arm. Looking up, Jude saw Luc with tears running down his chubby cheeks. Jude set him in her lap, hugging him tightly; she knew he didn't understand what was going on. All he knew was she hurt and that hurt him. They sat like that for minutes before they finally moved again.

"Kwest, who was that on the phone?" Sadie asked her eyes flashing.

Kwest looked at Sadie for a moment before looking away.

"Who, Kwest," Sadie persisted.

"Tommy," Kwest said quietly.

"What!" Sadie said angrily, "You just lied to Jude and broke her heart! How could you!"

Kwest looked at Sadie and took her hands, pleading; "Sadie, he doesn't want her to know yet. Please don't tell her."

"Right, like he wants her to know at all," Sadie sneered. "He wouldn't of left like that if he cared a wit about her."

"He cares Sadie… you know he does," Kwest said gently, trying to calm Sadie down, "It's hard to see her hurting I know. I don't approve of what Tommy did, or is doing; but he wants to make things right. He's hurting just as bad, you have to believe me. Things will turn out for the best."

Sadie sighed a little before leaning into Kwest. She put her face into his chest as he put his arms around her, holding her tightly. Kwest could feel her tears leaking through his shirt.

"She hurts so bad…" Sadie whispered. "And for so long… I just want it to stop."

"I know, Sadie… I know…" Kwest whispered back, "It'll end… it has to."

When Sadie stopped crying they walked into the living room to find a puffy eyed Jude tickling a puffy eyed Luc. He was one of the only things keeping Jude from falling off the edge, they all knew it. Luc laughed, Jude laughed; Jude cried, Luc cried. And visa versa. They clung to each other, needed each other.

A week later, Jude woke to a little face smiling at her.

"Wake Mama!" Luc said rather loudly.

"No, Mama sleep!" Jude said back closing her eyes.

Luc hopped on top of her bouncing. "No sleepy time!"

Jude groaned.

"Jude are you still asleep?" Sadie asked walking into the room.

"No… I would be if it wasn't for this little monster of mine." Jude said tickling Luc as he sat on her stomach.

Sadie took the giggling Luc off Jude saying, "You had better get up Jude, we have to get ready for dinner tonight. It's Christmas Eve, remember?"

"Unfortunately, I do…" Jude groaned again.

"Hungry, Luc?" Sadie asked walking towards the door, at his nod she asked "What do you want?"

"Cookies!" Luc exclaimed in excitement.

"I'm sure we can find some…" Sadie taunted looking back at Jude who was glaring at her.

"Yay!"

"Sadie! Don't you so much as think about it!" Jude yelled after her. "If that munchkin so much as bounces once, you're dead!"

"Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!" Luc chanted as him and Sadie descended the stairs.

"Sadie! I mean it!" Jude yelled again.

_She had better not! The last thing I need is that little boy bouncing off walls all day! _

It was around three in the afternoon when everyone showed up. Stuart and Stephanie were first. Followed by Georgia and Darius, who were arguing about something having to do with toothpaste and caps; who knows. EJ and her cocky boyfriend were third. Then Jamie and Kat walked in with Jasmine; they flew back for the holiday. They still lived in New York.

Everyone was sitting in the living room chatting when dinner was announced. Dinner was spent eating and laughing. Nothing but good cheer surrounded them, making things warm and inviting. Luc was the first to finish his food, not surprising since he ate like a horse and as fast as a dog. Swallowing his food, instead of chewing it seemed like. He slipped out of his high chair and walked into the living room. Jude was laughing about something Jamie said when Sadie asked a question.

"Jude, where's Luc?"

Jude looked over saying, "He's right here… Luc?" Jude looked at the empty high chair.

"He probably slipped out of it again," Jude said to the silent table, "I'll go find him."

Jude got up and walked into the living room, "Luc? You little devil, are you in here?"

Jude looked around the room until she finally spotted him. Walking further into the room she saw he was staring up at something.

"Luc, what are you doing…?" Jude asked her voice trailing off.

A figure sat on his heels looking at Luc. When she walked in the room his gaze left Luc and lit upon her, some what questioning. He turned his attention from Jude to Luc again, opening his arms. Luc with no second thought launched himself at the man. They gripped each other tightly, the bond was obvious.

"Tommy?" Jude whispered. She walked slowly towards the pair kneeling on the floor.

Tommy looked up at Jude and she stopped in her tracks. Picking Luc up with him, Tommy rose to his feet. Looking at Jude, Tommy wore a mask, hiding his emotions.

_I hate when he does that, _Jude thought to herself.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Tommy asked softly, belying the way he felt. He wanted to yell at her.

"I think you already know, Tommy" Jude told him timidly.

"You're right;" Tommy spoke softly still, "What I am trying to figure out is why you didn't tell me."

Those words Tommy spoke so calmly hit something in Jude and an inner fire lit her eyes as she looked at him. Fury took her over as she glared at him.

"And when was I supposed to tell you Quincy?" Jude asked dangerously quietly voice, "Was it when you confessed love for my sister and not me? Or when you picked up and left? Or maybe after you tell me that that night had never happened? Or just maybe when you broke my heart in pieces and continued to do so. I don't know what you want me to say, Tommy. I was going to tell you in my song I sung that you walked out on before hearing; but no, little Tommy Q was too scared to hear it. Then you picked up and left not bothering to tell me or give me a chance to talk to you."

"You're the one who kept lying to me! I asked you, Jude!" Tommy yelled. Then said calmer, "There was no other guy was there?"

"No Tommy there wasn't, it was you, always YOU!" Jude screamed the last part. "But _you_ kept running away."

Tommy didn't know what to say. He could only stare at Jude, words lost to him. Jude's anger disappeared when Tommy didn't say anything. Instead the pain she felt the last three years came back to her and tears fell from her eyes. Luc watched the tears on his mothers face make river paths down her cheeks. His own eyes filled with tears of confusion. He looked at the man who held him and demanded, "Down."

Tommy looked into his son's eyes seeing the pain and hurt Jude felt mirrored in his. They had a special bond, they felt each other. Tommy lowered Luc to the ground and let him go. He watched as Luc ran to his mother, tears streaking his little face. Luc grabbed Jude's leg, looking up at her he asked in a pleading voice, "Mama?"

Jude saw the pain he felt that confused him and cried more. She reached down and picked him up. Carrying him to the couch she sat with him in her lap. Once again, they clung tightly to each other; one confused, the other scared.

Everyone who should have been eating was watching them shocked. Sadie, Victoria, Georgia, EJ and surprisingly enough Stephanie, were crying silently. The news of Luc's parentage left all except four of them stunned. Even though Darius and Stuart made moves to interfere, they were kept out of the scene; being held back by five fierce women ready to attack them if they tried.

They all stood waiting, holding their breaths, scared they'd miss something. Long minutes passed before Jude was calm enough to get Luc to calm. Luc saw his mom was smiling at him, and thinking things better he stood in her lap and kissed her sloppily on the cheek before scooting off the couch and running to Victoria. Jude's smile left her face when Luc turned his back and left the room. She stared into space not knowing what to say.

Tommy took a few steps towards her. "Jude…" He said roughly.

"No, Tommy… please not again…" Jude said bleakly, "I can't do this again. I can't play these games… I thought I could. But you walk back here out of no where and you expect… what? What do you want from me?"

"Jude… please… listen to me…" Tommy tired again, blinking back tears.

"I can't, Tommy" Jude whispered desperately looking down at her hands. "I can't be hurt again… I can't take it… Luc can't take it. He's only two and he's felt more than he should."

Tommy came to Jude kneeling before her. "Jude… hear me out… if you still turn me away, I will go. But _please _hear me out."

Jude looked at Tommy weariness etched into her face, "Fine… I'll hear what you have to say."

Tommy smiled at her and she guarded herself from that smile. Tommy took Jude's hands bringing her to her feet and leading her to the stereo. He let go of her hands and pulled a CD out of his jacket, putting it in the CD player. Pressing play he told her, "I wrote something for you…"

The music played softly as Tommy took Jude's hands staring into her eyes. Then he began to sing:

"… _This time… This place…  
Misused… Mistakes…Too long…Too late…Who was I to make you wait…"_

Jude's heart started to pound as her guard started to crumble.

"…_Just one chance…Just one breath…  
Just in case there's just one left...'Cause you know…you know…you know…"_

Victoria, Sadie, EJ, Georgia and Stephanie all held tight to the guys as they cried. Sadie's face was buried in Kwest's shirt. Victoria, EJ, Georgia and Stephanie gripped their guys' with a bone crushing embrace.

"…_That I love you…I have loved you all along…And I miss you…Been far away for far too long…  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me…and you'll never go…  
Stop breathing if…I don't see you anymore…"_

Jude started to cry again as she watched Tommy sing passionately. Suddenly Tommy got down on his knees, keeping hold of Jude's hands.

"…_On my knees, I'll ask…Last chance for one last dance…'Cause with you, I'd withstand…  
All of hell to hold your hand…I'd give it all…I'd give for us…Give anything but I won't give up…  
'Cause you know…you know…you know…"_

Tears started to fall from Tommy's eyes as he sung, never breaking eye contact with Jude.

"…_That I love you…I have loved you all along…And I miss you…Been far away for far too long…  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me…and you'll never go…  
Stop breathing if…I don't see you anymore…"_

Jude gripped Tommy's hands tightly trying to fight her tears. She could hear his pain, the pleading, as it echoed in his voice.

"…_So far away…Been far away for far too long…So far away…  
Been far away for far too long…But you know…you know…you know…"_

Tommy closed his eyes tightly as he put Jude's hands to his lips then held them to his face as he sung in desperation.

"…_I wanted…I wanted you to stay…'Cause I needed…I need to hear you say…  
That I love you…I have loved you all along…And I forgive you…For being away for far too long…  
So keep breathing…'Cause I'm not leaving…Hold on to me and…  
never let me go…"_

Everyone held their breath in anticipation. Tommy didn't look up at Jude, he was scared. He put his heart on the table. He was too scared she wouldn't accept it. His eyes were still closed tightly; tears still fell from his eyes and hers.

"Tommy…" Jude looked away; she couldn't look at him kneeling at her feet.

Tommy kept his eyes shut as he silently prayed against her hands. _Don't send me away… please don't send me away…please…I need you… _

"Tommy…" Jude looked up at Kwest and Sadie desperately. She looked at Luc in Victoria's arms, and then down at Tommy. Closing her eyes tightly against the tears, she pulled her hands from Tommy's; whispering, "I'm sorry… I can't do this…"

Crying, Jude turned and ran from the room. Tommy still knelt on the floor, hanging his head in misery. Tears poured from his eyes as he silently cried. Sadie watched Tommy's shoulders shake uncontrollably. Letting go of Kwest, she walked over to Tommy; putting her arms around his shoulders. Tommy turned into Sadie's shoulder and wept brokenly.

Kwest slipped out of the room while everyone watched Tommy and Sadie. He followed the sobbing that echoed through the house. Kwest found Jude curled into a ball on her bed, her back facing him. She held a pillow close against her like it was her life line, as she sobbed into it.

Kwest walked to her and sat on the edge of her bed. Putting a hand on her back, Kwest tried to sooth her. After a little while, Jude calmed enough to speak.

"What am I going to do Kwest?" Jude asked hoarsely. She turned to face him, sitting up a little. "I'm so confused…"

"About what?" Kwest asked gently.

"Everything! Him… me… everything…" Jude said as more tears slipped down her cheeks.

Jude hugged Kwest tightly, like she held on to her pillow.

"I want to love him, I want to trust him… but it hurts. Whenever I do, it hurts…" Jude cried into Kwest's shoulder. "I don't want to hurt anymore…"

"I know, Jude, I know…" Kwest squeezed her comfortingly, "But he loves you and he's hurting too… give him a chance."

Jude pulled away from Kwest and looked out the window, not seeing birds or the trees. Kwest squeezed Jude's hand saying, "Give him a chance, Jude. Or you will regret it."

Kwest looked at Jude for a second then got up and left Jude to her thoughts.

Back in the living room, a little hand touched Tommy's leg. Tommy pulled away from Sadie and looked over. Once again, Luc had tears in his eyes and they slowly burned paths down his cheeks. Tommy's face was the mirror image as his, only older; but also with the sad tears. The confusion he read in Luc's eyes broke him inside. Luc lifted his arms to Tommy, and with out a second thought, Tommy had Luc securely in his arms. Tommy hugged him close, his eyes closed tightly against Luc's head. He was scared to let him go, scared to loose someone else.

Kwest walked slowly back into the room. Sadie looked at him with a question in her eyes. In answer, Kwest shook his head slightly. Returning her gaze to Tommy and Luc, Sadie let a few more tears fall before running over to Kwest. Kwest held her close for a moment before leading her out of the room.

Everyone followed Kwest and Sadie. Leaving father and son alone.

Jamie and Kat stayed sitting at the table when everyone else left the room to see what was going on in the living room. Sitting there they listened to all that transpired. Kat had her head on Jamie's shoulder as she cried for Jude and Tommy. Jamie couldn't think or move. He glanced up when everyone walked back in and sat at the table, trying to hold back tears. Nobody could look at each other. They sat in silence, listening to the cries echoing in the house.

Jude sat in her room. The tears had finally stopped. She stared blankly at the cell phone lying on her dresser. After a few moments, she went and picked it up, bringing it back to the bed with her. Opening it, she found the picture of her and Tommy on the screen. Quickly she closed to phone tossing it across her bed. Jude flung herself to her side, staring off into space. Something caught her eye and she looked up. There sat the teddy bear Tommy gave Luc. Jude picked it off her table wearily.

Luc had carried the bear everywhere in his two years. Surprisingly he left it behind, but with all the commotion with Christmas, he probably left it in there that morning. Jude closed her eyes as she held the bear tight.

_I can't let him walk out of Luc's life again, can I? No… Luc deserves his father. I deserve his father! I am so sick of him walking away… I am so sick of hurting… Well that's it! It's about time I did something about it! I'll show him whose boss! _

Jude opened her eyes and got off the bed. Clear purpose rang in her head as she stalked to her door and walked down the stairs with the teddy bear in her hand.

Walking down the stairs she saw Tommy reaching for the door handle.

"Open that door, Quincy and you'll be sorry!" Jude said authoratively.

Tommy stopped dead in his tracks but didn't look at her. He bowed his head a little, too scared to even hope.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Jude asked, suddenly loosing her nerve as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I think I've said about enough, Jude." Tommy replied trying to hide his raspy voice.

"Tommy… I'm sorry…" Jude whispered, touching his arm. Tommy immediately flinched as if she struck him. Tears filled Jude's eyes when she saw him flinch.

"I think we've established that you're sorry, Jude," Tommy said harshly, "I think you've about covered that."

"Tommy… you don't understand…" Jude tried to explain but was interrupted.

Tommy turned around pain and anger shinning in his eyes. "What don't I understand? That I lost my head, slept with you, ran away and happened to impregnate you; which may I add you never told me! Not even when I asked you, over and over again. You were too damn stubborn to tell me, to admit to me that he is mine. No! You lie over and over so _you _don't have to face _your _past." Tommy took a breath. When Jude tried to say something, Tommy stopped her before she could start, "Listen, I probably had no right to know that he was mine. After all I did to you; I'm surprised you can still look at me. I have made mistakes, Jude, I know. I ran away twice, but I was stupid and confused and… it hurt. It hurt so bad…" Tommy's voice became low and gruff, "It still hurts, maybe worse now that I know that there is no you and me. Loosing you hurts, but what hurts worse is the fact that I never had you… I love you, and I always will…" Tommy glanced away tears coming back into his eyes. He didn't want her to see him like that.

"Tommy…" Jude tried again.

"Jude," Tommy interrupted again, looking up at her his voice pleading like it was his last life line "Please, don't take my son away from me… I don't think I can take loosing you and him."

Jude walked up to Tommy as he watched her wearily. She put a hand on each side of his waist, Tommy stood as stiff as a board. The contact was killing him. Jude looked Tommy in the eye, trying to imagine the pain she saw wasn't there and the tears weren't glistening in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't take one second away from you and Luc," Jude saw the relief flash in his eyes and smiled a bit, "In fact, I will personally make sure you're there for every second of his life; afternoons, evenings… mornings… and everything in between."

Tommy looked at Jude sharply; he tried to read her face. Jude just smiled at him.

"What are you saying Jude…?" Tommy asked slowly, scared he was jumping to conclusions.

"Well… you know…" Jude said mischievously.

"No, I don't. Spit it out Jude," Tommy said harshly.

Jude sighed, realizing she'd have to get serious. "Tommy, earlier… I was just as scared as you. I knew that if I loved you, I'd get hurt… I thought that by walking away… I wouldn't get hurt. But I never realized that sometimes you just have to get hurt. When you fall you have to get up, and I need to get up. I was just too scared so I stayed on the floor, not rising to my feet and that made me…"

"Jude!" Tommy said sharply, to knock her out of her rambling. "Skip it and get on with your point, please. I think I get the picture."

"Sorry…" Jude said giving him a small smile.

"So…" Tommy hinted, after she didn't say anything.

"So… I love you, Quincy and I forgive you…" Jude stated proudly. "For now at least."

Tommy grinned down at Jude before picking her up and swinging her around. Jude laughed as she gripped him tightly around the neck; burying her head into his neck.

"Okay! Tommy! Put me down!" Jude demanded happily.

Tommy stopped and put Jude down but never let her go. He never would again. They stood there, foreheads touching, grinning like idiots. Their eyes spoke everything they felt. After a few minutes, Jude decided to break the moment.

"So…" Her words were immediately taken by Tommy's mouth as he kissed her hard.

He pulled away a little to whisper, "Don't kill the moment, Jude." Then went on kissing her hungrily. Jude smiled a little as she kissed him back. At first the kiss was gentle and loving. But no sooner did Jude start kissing him back when it became intense. Tommy took advantage of her smiling lips and opened her lips up wider to bring her tongue into the game. In natural reaction Jude followed his lead and was soon the aggressor. Lost in their heated kiss, they never heard the cough, or the cleared throat.

But they did hear; "Mommy?"

Jude pulled away quickly and tried to move out of Tommy's arms, but Tommy held her to him. He raised his head slowly and looked at the crowd in the hall. Tommy gave them a devilish grin as Jude blushed and looked away.

"Terribly sorry to interrupt, but we were just curious over all the commotion" Victoria said smiling at them. "We didn't realize we were interrupting something…"

"Sure we didn't." Kwest smirked. Sadie smacked Kwest as she smiled at them.

Everyone besides Darius and Stuart were grinning like kids in a candy store, they had scowls in their faces trying to figure out how to deal with what was happening. They knew Tommy was going to hurt her again. The only question was when.

"So you two are together?" Kat asked.

Jude and Tommy looked at each other. Both of them grinning when they nodded.

"Mommy!" Jude looked over to find Luc with his arms out stretched towards her.

Tommy let go of Jude as she walked over to Luc and picked him up. Jude still had the teddy in her hand, Luc saw it and yelled, "Teddy!" while taking it in his own arms. Tommy's eyes glowed seeing this as he smiled at the two. Jude walked over to Tommy, her eyes reflecting his content.

"Luc, sweetie, there's someone you should meet" Jude said looking at Luc, he studied her silently. She looked back at Tommy, Luc followed her gaze, "This is your daddy."

Luc studied Tommy then Jude again before asking, "Daddy?"

"Yep, Daddy." Jude said smiling.

Luc noticed both Jude and Tommy smiling and copied them saying happily, "Daddy!"

Tommy's smile widened and he put his arms out to Luc. Luc automatically jumped into Tommy's arms.

"I love you, Luc" Tommy whispered into Luc's hair as he held him tight.

Jude watched them still smiling. Tommy looked up at her and opened one arm to her. She immediately walked into his arms and he hugged her and his son tight. When they finally let go a little and looked up at their audience; Victoria asked, "Are you hungry Tommy?"

Tommy smiled back at her, "Starving."

They all made their way to the dinning room. A chair was placed next to Jude and Luc's. They ate again, this time the mood was even happier as they laughed and joked; all smiling openly. Tommy held Jude's hand through out dinner, scared to let her go, scared she'd disappear and the whole thing would be a dream.

After dinner everyone was sitting around in the living room. The youngest of the group sat on the floor while the oldest of the group were sitting on the coach and chairs. Tommy and Jude were apart of the ones sitting on the floor. Tommy sat with his legs spread and Jude sat between them with her back pressed to his chest. Jude looked down at Luc in her lap and smiled. Luc was lying in her lap, out cold; nothing could wake him up.

"Tommy," Jude said quietly breaking him away from his conversation with Kwest and Jamie.

"Yes?" Tommy looked at her, his eyes still glowing.

"I'm going to take Luc up to bed, I'll be right back" Jude picked Luc up as she rose from Tommy's arms.

Tommy got up with her and picked Luc out of her arms, "I want to put him to bed."

Jude smiled tenderly as she led the way up the stairs. They didn't notice everyone watching them again.

"I wonder if they'll make it back down anytime soon…" Kwest commented thoughtfully.

Sadie looked at him sharply and smacked him in the arm, "I think its sweet, and be nice!"

Kwest put his hands up in surrender. Sadie smiled and hit him again playfully. Kwest raped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. Sadie giggled as everyone rolled their eyes, and resumed their conversations.

Back up stairs Tommy put Luc in his crib gently. He let his hand linger on his cheek. Jude walked up behind Tommy and put her arms around his waist. She was still smiling when she saw Tommy's hand linger.

"I do that too," Jude whispered.

"Do what?" Tommy whispered back as he straightened putting his hands over Jude's.

"I can't get enough of him. I touch him to make sure he's real. I used to watch him sleep for hours," Jude whispered softly, "I don't know what I would do with out him. He's the only thing that kept me sane when you left, he was my life."

"Was?" Tommy asked quietly.

"Yep, was" Jude said sneaking a glance at Tommy. "Now I have you. My blue eyed prince and…"

"My blue eyed angel…" Tommy finished for her.

"Well… he's more like a blue eyed devil than angel…" Jude said smiling.

"No, he's perfect" Tommy stated. "And so are you, my punk princess."

Tommy turned around and faced Jude, her arms still around him. He kissed her softly, and then looked at his son. Jude watched him watch his son. When he looked at her again he smiled and took her hand, walking out of the room. Jude grabbed the baby monitor then closed the door a little. Jude took over the lead and led Tommy into her room. She closed the door softly then faced him.

"So…" Tommy said into the silence.

"So…" Jude echoed.

They stared at each other, neither moved a muscle.

"Aw, what the hell…" Tommy said as he walked up to Jude, taking her mouth passionately.

With a hand on each side of her waist, he pushed her against the door. Jude returned the kiss as she slipped her hands up and around his neck. When his tongue slipped into Jude's mouth, hers was there to meet it. Tommy's hands slid down her waist and gripped the back of her thighs. Swiftly he brought her legs up and raped them around his waist. Reflexes cause her to tighten her legs around his waist. She could feel how hard he was and smiled as she kissed him deeply.

Tommy felt her smile and decided to teach her who was boss. Carrying her over to the bed, he never once broke the kiss. They fell together onto the bed, Tommy on top of Jude. Tommy continued to kiss her passionately while his hands skimmed her skin, bringing her shirt up. Slipping her hands under Tommy's shirt, Jude yanked it off him. Once his shirt was sailing across the room, she let her hands roam over his back. Her hands traveled up his back to his head. Shifting her hands through his hair, she pulled him closer.

Tommy groaned deeply as Jude pushed him to his back. Breaking the kiss, she straddled his waist. Jude gave him a sexy smile as she slowly raised her shirt, up and over her head. Tommy could only watch in a trance as she stripped herself of her clothes. Only when she started tugging at his pants did he get his senses back. He helped her slip his pants and boxers off, then promptly grabbed her shoulders and pushed her flat on the bed. Coming over her, he slowly kissed his way up her body. Lazy kisses trailed up her stomach and rib cage. Before he could get any further, Jude had him on his back again.

She smiled mischievously and kissed him deeply on the lips. When the kiss started to get heavy, she pulled away and smiled again. Returning the favor, she kissed her way down his throat, running her tongue over sensitive spots. When she got to his chest, she kissed one nipple then the other; before tracing them with her tongue. Tommy groaned as she closed his eyes. Jude stopped and put on hand over his heart. His eyes came open desire and love shining brightly. He placed one hand over her hand and the other on her cheek, running it into her bright red hair. Jude placed her other hand on his hip as she continued kissing down his body. Tommy watched her with hooded eyes. When she got past his belly button, he swallowed convulsively.

Not being able to take much more, Tommy grabbed Jude by the shoulders and once again, threw her on to her back. He raised himself over her giving her a rakish smile. He kissed her lightly one the lips saying, "Two can play that game." He then took her lips, thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

When Jude started to kiss him back, he pulled away giving her that devilish smile. Coping her movements before, he kissed her throat, and lightly nipped the sensitive spots. When he got to her breasts, he sucked hard as she raised herself off the bed. Grinning, he finished with her breasts and kissed the sensitive peaks softly. Jude groaned as he started down her stomach. Her hands went to his head, trying to pull him back up, but he took her hands in his holding them prisoner. He stopped where she did and looked at her. Jude shook her head a little and he smiled softly.

Tommy skimmed his body along hers as he moved back up to her lips. He still had her hands in his when he took her mouth hard. He raised their hands above her head, kissing her. Jude's legs parted in instinct as he settled himself between her legs.

"Tommy, please, I want to touch you…" Jude whispered pulling at her hands.

"Trust me, Jude…" Tommy said roughly, pulling his face away to look at her. "Do you trust me?"

Jude silently nodded. He smiled and took her lips once again, his tongue driving into her mouth at the same time he pressed home. Jude met each thrust in abandon, gripping his hands tightly. Many minutes later, Tommy captured Jude's mouth again, saving the rest of the house from hearing her rise to heaven. A second later, he followed her to the white hot bliss, catching himself from yelling out and groaned instead.

Awhile later, Jude and Tommy lay entwined. Her head pillowed by his rising and falling chest. Tommy played with her hair, running his hands through the silky strands. Neither spoke, but they new each other was awake. Then didn't want to break the comfortable silence, the first they've had for a long time.

"So what happens now?" Tommy asked hesitantly into the silence. Scared to break a fragile truce.

"What do you want to happen?" Jude asked back, scared he'd leave.

Tommy felt her body tense against his and sighed.

"I want to be with you, forever" Tommy said quietly.

"So then, do it. There's nobody stopping you Tommy" Jude said tiredly. "Nobody but yourself…"

Jude drifted off to sleep; listening to Tommy's heart beat slowly.

"I know, and that's what scares me…" Tommy whispered to himself.

"Hmm…?" Jude mumbled sleepily.

Tommy smiled and kissed her head, "I love you girl."

Jude smiled, "I love you too…" Instantly she fell asleep, as if those words were what kept her up.

Tommy laid there for an hour, thinking. Until, finally, he pulled Jude closer and followed her into a deep sleep.

"Mommy!"

Jude peaked an eye open, catching a little figure running through her door in excitement. Groaning, she closed her eyes again, digging her face into the warm pillow. The only difference was that this pillow wasn't soft and fluffy like hers.

Jude snapped her eyes open and sat up, looking down at the sleeping form. She looked down at herself and quickly pulled a sheet over herself.

"Mommy!" Jude looked over to see a little head on the side of the bed, two wide blue eyes looking up at her.

"Morning sweetheart," Jude said softly as she leaned over Tommy and pulled Luc on to the bed and into her lap.

Tommy groaned, frowning in annoyance. He flung his outstretched arm over his eyes and drifted back to sleep instantly. Jude watched him and smiled. Looking down at Luc who was staring at Tommy too, her grin grew.

"Luc, honey, wake up daddy" Jude said softly. Luc looked at her and she pointed at Tommy saying, "Wake up daddy."

Luc copied her grin saying, "Daddy wake?"

"Yep, daddy needs to wake up," Jude told Luc. He quickly got off her lap and sat on Tommy, the best he could. Luc bounced a little while he put his face by Tommy's, yelling.

"Daddy! Wake! Wake!"

Tommy groaned deeply, trying to turn away from the pressure on his chest.

"No! Wake!" Luc yelled again, bouncing some more. "Daddy, no sleepy time!"

Tommy could only groan again, sounding more like a growl. Luc pushed at Tommy's arm over his eyes. When he moved the arm enough to see a mouth, nose, then an eye, Luc grinned like an angel.

"Daddy!" Luc demanded still giving Tommy his identical charming smile.

Tommy popped an eye open, took in the little chubby face hovering above his; and promptly closed them again, groaning once again.

"No! Wake!" Luc demanded again frowning.

Tommy gave up and removed his arm from his face. He looked at Luc with a dark scowl, Luc in turn just smiled sweetly.

"Hi." Luc said simply.

"Hi." Tommy responded watching Luc wearily.

Luc looked over, and Tommy followed his gaze to see Jude sitting next to him. She held a sheet tightly around herself smiling like a cat that just ate the last of the crème.

"I'm guessing that I have you to think for this abuse," Tommy commented gruffly.

"Well you've got to catch up; he's woken me up like this everyday." Jude said smiling sweetly.

Holding the sheet tighter to herself, Jude got up from the bed. Tommy grabbed the blanket around his waist before it was pulled off him. Jude had caught his action and laughed a little as she walked into her private bathroom and closed the door. Tommy watched her walk into the bathroom. When the door closed his eyes settled back onto the little person staring at him intently. They watched each other for a few moments, and then Luc got bored of the staring contest and laid his head down on Tommy's chest.

Tommy looked down, surprised. Hesitantly at first, he put his hands on Luc's back, rubbing softly. He ran his hands through Luc's hair, causing Luc to fall asleep. Tommy kissed his head softly and closed his eyes.

Jude walked back out of the bathroom in her pajama pants and tank top. She stopped short when she caught Tommy and Luc sleeping together.

_It feels like forever that I have waited to see this. They're so cute… _

"Jude…" Tommy said as he opened his eyes. He knew she was there; her presence was all it took.

"Yes?" Jude asked walking closer to him.

"Come here," Tommy said as he opened his arm.

Jude smiled as she climbed onto the bed, careful not to wake Luc. She snuggled up to Tommy, her head on his shoulder and one arm around Luc and him. Tommy hugged her close, putting his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head and set his cheek against the spot he kissed; closing his eyes. Jude smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

Two hours later, Sadie walked by Jude's room, peaking in. She saw Luc lying on Tommy's chest, eyes open; while Jude and Tommy were fast asleep. Sadie smiled at him and Luc struggled to sit up. In his struggle, he ended up smacking Tommy in the face who in turn smacked Jude. Jude's eyes shot open and she leaned up to look at Tommy. Tommy's eyes were still closed, so Jude smacked him on the forehead. His eyes shot open and he looked at Jude sharply.

"What was that for?"

"You smacked me first!"

"No I didn't! You smacked me!" Tommy glared at Jude.

"No, I didn't."

"Jude, yes you did. Just admit it."

"What! I was asleep!" Jude said annoyed. "I was woken up by you! Smacking me!"

"What!" Tommy said shaking his head, and closing his eyes. It was too early for this. "I did not."

Sadie watched this exchange, holding back her laughter. Luc looked from parent to parent, not knowing what to think. Sadie finally broke out in laughter, holding on to the door frame for support. Jude and Tommy's faces turned to her sharply, both frowning.

"I… I'm sorry…" Sadie said once her laughter ebbed a little.

"What is so funny?" Tommy asked her.

"You… her… him…" Sadie said in between laughing. "The whole episode…"

"I don't think I am following you…" Jude stated.

Sadie finally stopped laughing. "Luc smacked Tommy trying to sit up. Then he smacked you and you smacked him back. Sorry, you had to see it…" Sadie started chuckling.

Tommy and Jude looked at Luc. He was silently assessing them. They both smiled. He smiled in response.

"You little devil," Jude said taking Luc off Tommy. She brought his face close to hers. "Those innocent looks don't work on me." Jude acted like she was biting his neck causing Luc to giggle impishly.

"Merry Christmas," Sadie said as she walked away smiling.

Tommy watched Jude and Luc laughing and giggling.

_I could get used to this… _

Before Tommy knew what was happening, the little body jumped on him. For a second he lost his breath. Then he looked at the little face smiling down at him and swung him over. Tommy started growling as he went for Luc. Luc giggled in delight.

Jude was smiling happily as she walked into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth quickly, leaving the door open. She turned to find Tommy and Luc sitting propped up in the bed watching her.

"Do you guys find me amusing?" Jude asked in amusement.

"Yes…" Tommy looked down at Luc then back at Jude and nodded. "I do believe we do. Is there a problem?"

Jude smiled. "Nope, non what so ever," Jude walked over and picked Luc up.

Before she could lean back up, Tommy grabbed her around the waist and whispered, "Merry Christmas, love." In her ear and then kissed her gently on the lips.

Jude smiled at him and whispered "Merry Christmas. I love you."

Jude rose and started walking to the door.

"Are you leaving me? So soon?" Tommy gave her a pouty look, one that looked exactly like Luc's. "Love 'em and leave 'em, huh?"

"You know it." Jude said with a twinkle in her eye. "I would say come with us…"

Tommy gave her a questioning look. "But… I don't think my family would enjoy you nude as much as I do. This may be the time for sharing, but I think that's a little too much."

"Awe, c'mon, Jude. Can't I have a little fun?" Tommy said giving her his most charming smile.

Jude shook her head as she walked out, "Get dressed, Quincy. We'll meet you down stares."

Jude left a smiling Tommy. It took him a few minutes, but he finally stopped daydreaming and grabbed the clothes from the floor and threw them on. He ran down the stares and into the dinning room. Christmas music was playing while Victoria and Sadie were walking around the table, setting dishes down. Kwest and Jake were involved in some heated discussion. Jude was trying to scold Luc but was laughing too hard for it to do much.

Tommy made his way to Jude and kissed her cheek. "What's going on over here?"

"Your son wont stay seated the little devil." Jude said giving Luc a look.

Tommy laughed a little as he took Luc out of his highchair and settled him in his arms. "That's my boy! Giving his mommy trouble, didn't I tell you he was an angel?"

"Yeah… satans own…" Jude mumbled. "Only you would think so."

"Merry Christmas, Tommy" Victoria said as she walked up behind him and set another dish down on the table. "Okay, guys lets eat."

Everyone turned to their seats. Tommy settled next to Jude with Luc in his arms. Kwest sat next to Tommy with Sadie on the other side of him. Jake sat at one end. Stuart and Stephanie across from Jude and Tommy. Victoria at the head of the table. Everyone started filling up their plates. Jude put some things on Luc's while Tommy handed him some. Kwest looked over at Tommy and smirked.

"So how was your night?"

Tommy gave him a look.

"What?" Kwest asked innocently. "I was just making sure it was… good."

Sadie smacked Kwest in the arm. "Kwest! Shut up!"

He rubbed his arm as he stated, "Well, I am sorry but a guy gets curious when noises are coming from the room…"

Sadie smacked him again and gave him a shut-up look.

"Kwest!" Jake said sharply as everyone starred at him, Jude and Tommy.

Jude's face turned beat red, matching her hair. Tommy looked as if he was about to kill Kwest.

"Okay, can we change the subject please?" Victoria asked to the silent room.

"Gladly," Jude said relieved.

"Yeah, before Tommy kills Kwest." Sadie said, "That is, unless I don't first."

"Oh, come on, Sadie. You know you don't want to kill me…" Kwest said.

"Ha!"

"So… what about those hockey players?" Stuart asked loudly.

The conversation finally switched to safer subjects. Jake told some jokes, causing everyone except Luc laugh. About half way through the meal, Tommy put Luc in his high chair and Luc stayed there, content to smash his food together. Jude looked over to Luc and gasped.

"Luc! Look at that mess you made!" Jude announced as she ran from the room and got a towel. "Who gave him gravy?" Jude glared at Tommy, who looked around innocently.

"Are you blaming me?" Tommy asked in fend outrage.

"Yes I am," Jude said as she whipped the gravy off Luc's face, hands, and arms. "I'll be right back; I'm going to change this little devil."

Jude picked Luc up and went up to change him. Sadie got up from the table and took Luc's plate into the kitchen, coming back with a wash rag. Tommy took it out of her hands.

"Let me do that," Tommy said smiling. "After all it is my fault."

Sadie smirked and gave up the wash rag. While Tommy went back to scrubbing the high chair, the conversations soon filled the room again. Jude came back in when everyone was done eating. Jude sat back down with Luc in her lap. He didn't stay there long and was soon running to the living room, shouting, "Presents!"

Jude got up and went after him. Everyone around the table followed her lead. Luc sat in front of the tree, gripping a brightly wrapped present. Jude walked over to him while everyone one else sat down on the couches and chairs.

"Luc, that's not yours" Jude tried to pry his hands from the gift, but he turned away.

"Mine! Open, now!"

"Luc, no. Not yours." Jude tried again but Luc got up with the present in his hands and ran to Tommy.

"Daddy's" Luc stated when Tommy picked him up.

Tommy read the name on the tag and smiled. "Nope, not mine. Kwest's present."

"Kwest?" Luc asked looking around.

"Hey you little hooligan, stealing my presents" Kwest said as Luc handed him the present. Kwest tickled him causing Luc to grab Tommy's shirt giggling uncontrollably.

"Luc, honey, here's your present" Jude said still kneeling in front of the tree. Luc looked at her and struggled in Tommy's arms. Chuckling, Tommy put him on his feet. Luc ran to Jude and plopped in her lap, taking the present from her and hugging it tight. "Mine."

Everyone laughed. "Hey, Tommy, want to help me pass these out?"

"Sure," Tommy said as he walked to her. They continued to pass out the presents.

"Dang," Tommy said when they were done. "Spoiling the boy any?"

Luc sat in Jude's lap with a large pile of presents in front of him. He was grinning impishly as he looked at them.

"Okay, Luc, open them up." Jude said giving Luc the present he had dropped.

"Wait! Not yet," Sadie yelled as she ran out of the room. She came back in with a cam recorder. "Okay, go ahead."

Jude smiled as Luc tried ripping the paper open. "Mommy help." Jude smiled as she helped him. He pulled out some books, he glanced at them and then threw them to the side.

"He's definitely your son," Tommy said laughing.

"Hey! It's not like you read." Jude gave him a in-your-face look.

"I can read a lot better than you," Tommy stated.

"Ha! I'd like to see that," Jude said in disbelief.

Luc was watching them, back and forth. He got out of Jude's lap and tugged a large present over to Tommy.

"Daddy help." Luc said as he sat in Tommy's lap.

Tommy smiled down at Luc then looked at Jude and smiled. Tommy and Luc struggled with the box until they finally got the paper off of it.

"No way!" Tommy looked at the box in delight.

"What is it?" Jude asked crawling closer to him.

"Remote controlled Viper!" Tommy looked like a little kid. "Yes!"

Kwest started laughing. Jude looked at him. "Luc is a little young to play with that don't you think?"

"Kwest, you didn't" Sadie said turning to him as he chuckled.

"What? I couldn't help myself. It's even the same blue…" Kwest smiled. "Figured, father like son. Besides, look at Tommy."

Jude rolled her eyes and looked back at Tommy. His face was lit up as he read the box.

"Tommy, help your son with his presents and give me that." Jude said as she took the toy away from him.

"But… Jude…" Tommy looked up at her a little lost.

Jude pointed at Luc. "Help him."

Tommy nodded and helped Luc open the rest of his presents. Everyone else watched then started opening theirs. An hour later, there was rapping paper everywhere. Luc sat on the floor playing with an airplane while Jude and Sadie picked up the paper. Victoria was making some Christmas cookies. While the rest of the adults talked, Tommy was playing with the remote controlled Viper. Luc got up, leaving his toys where they lay and went to Tommy. Tommy pick Luc into his lap, putting the controller on Luc's lap, Tommy guided Luc's hands over the controls.

"Ouch! Tommy!" Jude said as she whipped around, pushing the remote controlled car away.

"Hey that was all his doing," Tommy said putting his hands up. Luc smiled and giggled at Jude.

"Yeah and we know where he learned it." Jude said giving him one last glare before going back to cleaning.

Luc giggled and pressed up on the controller.

"Tommy!" Jude said as she turned back around.

"He did it, I'm telling you it wasn't me," Tommy gave Jude an innocent look.

Jude snorted and pushed the car away with more force than the first time.

"Hey! Watch the paint!" Tommy said looking horrified.

Jude rolled her eyes. "Don't watch it Quincy, and I'll go do something to that Viper, and I am not talking this one." Jude pushed the car again.

"You wouldn't dare!" Tommy said with a glare.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Jude started walking to the door.

Tommy carefully picked Luc out of his lap and ran after Jude. Jude looked back to see Tommy coming at her and took off down the hall. "One little scratch won't hurt much."

"You're not touching that car!" Tommy yelled at her as he chased her through the dinning room and back through the living room.

"Wanna bet?" Jude yelled back running into the kitchen. Two arms shot around her waist as she screamed. "Yeah, I wanna bet."

Jude started laughing as Tommy picked her off the ground, acting like he was biting her neck as he growled.

"Okay, okay! I give! I won't touch your precious Viper…" Tommy sat Jude down on the ground. She turned to face him and softly kissed his lips. Then whispered, "Not today at least…" And then took off running again. Tommy growled and took off after her again.

An hour later, Jude was sitting on the couch talking with Sadie. While Tommy sat in front of her on the floor with Luc in his lap, playing with the Viper again. Kwest sat on the floor by Sadie, playing with another remote controlled car he had bought, this time for himself; a silver Mustang. Tommy and Kwest amused themselves with races, Luc was allowed to drive sometimes, he was an expert at running the car into things.

"I win!" Kwest yelled as he bounced a little.

"Yeah, one out of a hundred… great job Kwest" Tommy rolled his eyes.

Jude and Sadie looked at them, and then looked back at each other.

"You would think they were the children." Sadie said.

Jude laughed. "They are."

"They will never grow up, will they?" Sadie mused.

"Nope." Jude stated.

"Hey are you two talking about us?" Kwest asked turning around.

"Why would you possibly think that?" Sadie asked innocently.

"My girl would never talk bad about me. Right, Jude?" Tommy looked at her.

Jude smiled and patted his head. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Oh you had better watch yourself, girl." Tommy turned around and stood on his knees as Luc walked away, trying to intimidate her.

"Why? You do it enough for the both of us." Jude smiled the same impish smile Luc gave.

"Oh aren't we just smart?"

"No, not we, just me."

"Oh you…"

"Snow!" Tommy stopped in mid-sentence, everyone looking over.

"Dang, look at it snow out there" Kwest commented, more to himself.

"That's at least a foot." Sadie mused.

"Looks like fun to me." Tommy said as he wiggled his eyebrows at Jude. He turned to Luc. "Luc, do you want to go outside and play?"

"Yay!"

"Tommy, no. He'll get sick." Jude said frowning.

"Oh come on Jude, live a little. Let him breath before you stuff him in a cage." Tommy got up and picked Luc up. "Let's go get you all bundled up."

"He had better not get sick, Tommy!" Jude yelled after them as they made their way up the stairs. She thought for a second and yelled back at them again. "You had better not get sick either!"

Tommy located Luc's snow clothes and swiftly put them on him. Tommy grabbed his coat and sweatshirt, throwing them on before picking Luc up and marching downstairs. Jude stopped him from opening the door.

"Tommy you need gloves, you're going to freeze your fingers." Jude grabbed his hand and led him down the hall to a little table. She opened the drawers, rummaging around before she came up successful. She handed him a pair of gloves and took Luc out of his arms. Tommy put the gloves on, took Luc back and started walking away. Before he got too far, he turned around and kissed Jude on the cheek. He turned and walked to the door, giving her a little grin before he closed the door. Jude followed him but looked out the window as he set Luc on the ground in the snow.

Sadie came up from behind her. "He seems to be taking everything great."

"Yeah, he seems to be." Jude said still watching Tommy and Luc. Tommy ran after Luc when he fell face down in the snow, picking him up and tossing him in the air.

"What's wrong Jude?" Sadie asked turning Jude from the window to face her.

Jude sighed and looked away. She walked over to the couch, Sadie following her. "I don't know what's wrong. I just get this feeling like something isn't right. He seems to be taking it all so good. But then there are moments, when his face becomes a mask, and I can't understand what's going on. It's probably nothing… but I have a feeling there's something going on in his head. Something not good." Jude looked back out the window in time to see Tommy and Luc throw a snow ball together at an innocent cat.

"Do you think he'll leave again?"

"I don't know Sadie. I wish I did, but I just don't." Jude looked away from the window.

"Jude…" Jude got up before Sadie could say anything else.

"I'm going to take a shower."

Sadie watched Jude walk up the stairs, frowning. _ I hope she's just imagining things…_

Sadie looked outside. Tommy and Luc were trying to make snow angels, but weren't too successful. Kwest came into the room, and noticing Sadie's vacant look sat next to her.

"What's wrong?" Kwest asked as he put his arm around her.

"I wish I knew." Sadie said still looking towards the window.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Kwest asked frowning.

Sadie shook her head and looked over a Kwest then away. She snuggled her head on his shoulder, not wanting to speak.

A few minutes later, Tommy and Luc came back into the house stomping their feet. When Tommy closed the door, he looked around but didn't see Jude. He walked into the living room and looked at Kwest and Sadie who had just noticed him.

"Where's Jude?"

"She went to take a shower." Sadie told him.

"Oh" Tommy looked around. "Do you mind watching Luc?"

"No, not at all." Sadie reached up and grabbed Luc when Tommy lowered him to her.

Tommy started walking back to the door. Kwest and Sadie frowned.

"Where are you going man? It's like ten degrees out there." Kwest asked.

Tommy looked at him then looked away as he opened the door. "Just for a walk, I'll be back."

With that he left. Walked out the door and silently closed it. Sadie now understood what Jude was talking about. Tommy's face was void of any and all emotion when he said that. She never noticed that before now.

Sadie looked up at Kwest who was lost for words. She could read the confusion on his face. When he looked down at her she tried to smile, but it wouldn't work. So she looked down at Luc in her lap.

Luc had watched as his father left. His mind couldn't understand what was going on, but he tried. He looked at the miniature Viper, outside then back to the door. Everything seemed confusing.

Sadie saw how lost Luc became when Tommy left and decided to try and cheer him up. "Luc do you want some cookies?"

Luc's face brightened at the mention of cookies and he started bouncing in Sadie's lap. "Cookies! I want cookies!"

Sliding off Sadie's lap, he ran to the kitchen.

"Hey, you!" Sadie got up and ran after him with Kwest following her at a slower pace. "Wait for me."

For now their worries were forgotten.

Twenty minutes later, Jude came down the stairs to find Sadie and Kwest on the couch with Luc watching some children's show. She smiled looking around and walked into the living room.

"Hey guys." Jude said as they all looked up at her.

"Mommy!" Luc hopped off the couch and ran to her. She leaned down and picked him up.

"Hey hon, what are you doing?" Jude asked Luc.

"Watching Power 'Angers." Luc said innocently.

"Oh really, Power Rangers huh?" Luc nodded vigorously.

"Luc it's back on." Kwest said as the Power Ranger logo popped onto the screen.

Luc wiggled in Jude arms, forcing her set him on the ground. He ran back to the couch and Kwest lifted him up onto it. They both started watching the screen intently.

"Where's Tommy?" Jude asked Sadie, the only one paying attention.

"He left, said he was going for a walk." Sadie said almost hesitantly.

"Oh…" Jude looked at Sadie. She knew her sister now understood her worry for a future with Tommy.

Jude looked out the window and noticed it still hadn't stopped snowing. She hoped he'd come back soon. It was cold out there and getting colder. She looked back at Sadie and gave her a sad 'it's okay' smile and walked back up stairs.

When she got to her room, she sat on her bed; sheets still rumpled from last night. Jude didn't notice though, she was so lost in thought.

_How could someone so happy be so unhappy? He seemed so content, like this is where he wants to be. Is it real or is this some house game he's playing with himself? I can't believe today has meant nothing, but has is meant enough for him to stay? Stay and be happy? Lord, I wish I knew the answers to my own questions. Maybe I am just jumping to conclusions, that it's all just in my head. Right, it's all in my head…_

"Jude, mom wants us to help her with dinner. Something about guys should stay out of the kitchen." Sadie yelled from downstairs.

"I'll be right there." Jude yelled back. She took a deep breath and got up and left the room.

Dinner had come and gone. It was now almost twelve in the morning. Everyone had gone to bed. Luc was having troubles sleeping so Jude brought him into her room and laid down. Soon he was asleep. As much as Jude tried to stay awake, she fell asleep. An hour later her cell woke her from her troubled sleep.

Groggily, she grabbed her phone, careful not to wake Luc. She didn't recognize the number, but answered anyways.

"Hello?"

"Jude, it's me."

"Tommy? Where are you?" Jude sat up in bed, coming fully awake.

"I'm outside. Can you come unlock the door for me?"

"Uh, yeah, one second." The phone went dead as she got up from the bed silently.

Jude slowly made her way down the hall and down the stairs with out running into anything. She opened the first door, then when she got to the second she saw Tommy starring at her. She tried to smile but it didn't work, so she just opened the door.

"Hey." Tommy said uncomfortably.

"Hey." Jude watched him shiver and grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house. "What are you trying to do? Freeze yourself to death?"

They walked through the entry towards the stairs, Jude closing the doors on her way. Tommy stopped walking at the bottom of the stairs and faced Jude. Her arms were wrapped around herself as she stared at him.

"So," Jude said. "Where have you been?"

Tommy looked away. "I just needed to get out. So I went for a walk."

"A walk? A walk, Tommy, doesn't last over five hours." Jude said frustrated.

He looked at her, and then looked away knowing he couldn't continue to take her angry glare. "Jude please. I just needed to get a breath of fresh air."

"Well, that was one big breath you got there, Quincy. I hope_ you_ feel better now." Jude pushed past him and walked up the stairs and to her room. Tommy was right behind her.

"Jude, please…" He said as he came in to her room.

"What Tommy? Please what?" Jude whispered to him furiously. Then thought better of it and said, "You know what, never mind. Goodnight Quincy."

With that Jude climbed onto the center of the bed and put her arm around Luc who still slept peacefully. Tommy watched her for a moment then removed his jacket and slipped in behind her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear, kissing her shoulder gently; then setting his arm around her.

They lapsed into silence. Jude tried to figure out if she should ask or even bring the subject up. After a few minutes she gave up.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah."

"Is everything okay? Are… are we okay?"

Tommy thought to himself for a second before responding. "Yeah, Jude. Everything is fine, we're perfect. I love you."

"I love you too." Jude said lost in thought. As much as she would love to believe him, she couldn't help but feel that something was terribly wrong.

Both Tommy and Jude slept restlessly that night. Each caught in their own worries.


	6. Chapter 6 Part One

_**A/N: Dixie Chicks "You Were Mine" is in this. Thank you everyone who replied. I am glad you all liked it!**_

**Chapter Six Part One: What's Real?**

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been three months since Tommy's return. He won't tell me where he was, saying that it wasn't important. It's amazing how great he can be. When we get home from the studio, he takes care of Luc. Saying that I have had a hard day, as if he isn't tired. Every Saturday, Tommy and Luc go to the park. At first it was a media frenzy, Tommy showing up and then the mysterious baby. With EJ's help we got through it though._

_Everyone's great. Sadie and Kwest's wedding was amazing. Even with a pregnant bride, she never looked happier. She's about 6 months along now and spending almost all of Kwest's money on clothes for the baby. All I can say is good thing she's spending it on somebody else. _

_As great as things seem to be going, I can't help but think that there's something seriously wrong. Tommy is all smiles and jokes, but when he thinks nobody is watching he seems so far away. I don't know what to do. I bring it up and he avoids it. I want to believe he's happy, that he wants to be here, but I can't. I don't think he's ready for this life. I wish I knew where he was before he came back. Then again, maybe I don't want to know. Some things you learn, you wish you never learned. I have a feeling what Tommy is hiding is one of them_.

"Jude, I'm going out to meet Kwest. I'll be home later." Tommy said as he walked out the door.

"Um… okay…" He was gone before she could get a word out. Jude stared after him for a minute.

"Mommy?"

"Huh… what?" She looked down at the little face so like the man that just ran out of the apartment.

"Bath time!" Luc held up his rubber ducky.

She smiled as she picked him up and took him into the bathroom. She quickly undressed him and set him in the warm water frosted with bubbles. Setting a few toys in with him, Jude turned on the radio next to her. Leaning back she barely heard the songs as she watched Luc play in the tub.

_How many times this week has he been out with Kwest? At least once a day, he even skipped taking Luc to the park yesterday. What is going on? Maybe I should call Kwest…_

When Jude saw Luc yawn, she started to wash him; still lost in thought. The Tommy she knew was never like this. She didn't even know how he was when he got home. He came home when she was asleep and would be awake before she woke up. Nothing ever seemed out of place, but Jude knew something was wrong.

She finished washing Luc and pulled him out of the tub. Quickly, she dried him off and slipped him into his pajamas. When she carried him out of the bathroom and to his room, his head rested on her shoulder tiredly. Once his head hit the pillow, he was out. Jude quietly made her way out of the room, leaving the door open.

As Jude entered the bathroom, Dixie Chicks' song You Were Mine came on. She starred at the radio a second; she didn't know it was on a country station. Shrugging she started to pick up the bathroom, catching some of the lyrics.

"… _I cant find a reason to let go_

_Even though you've found a new love_

_And she's what your dreams are made of_

_I can find a reason to hang on_

_What went wrong can be forgiven_

_Without you, It aint worth livin' alone…" _

Jude stopped cleaning and looked up at the radio, listening fully now.

"… _Sometimes I wake up crying at night_

_And sometimes I scream out your name_

_What right does she have to take you away_

_When for so long, you were mine…" _

She sat down abruptly and leaned back against the tub, holding Luc's discarded clothes.

"… _I took out all the pictures of our wedding day_

_It was a time of love and laughter_

_Happy ever after_

_But even those old pictures have begun to fade_

_Please tell me she's not really_

_And that you're really coming home to stay…" _

A tear slipped down her face, she was scared this was a sign of some sort. A future to come.

"… _Sometimes I wake up crying at night_

_And sometimes I scream out your name_

_What right does she have to take you away_

_When for so long, you were mine…_

_I can give you two good reasons _

_To show you love's not blind_

_He's two and she's four, and you know they adore you_

_So how can I tell them you've changed your mind…"_

Jude listened to the rest of the song, tears falling down her face as she gripped Luc's clothes tighter and tighter. All the way to the very last line.

"…_I remember when you were mine…"_

Before the last line was sung, Jude got up and pushed the radio off in anger.

_That wasn't going to happen… that wasn't going to happen… it's not going to happen… he loves me. He loves Luc… he's happy…" _

"He's happy…" Jude said out loud, breaking into sobs. She knew he wasn't happy. She didn't know if he ever would be.

The next day at the studio, Tommy came into work alone. Jude told him she wasn't feeling very well and stayed home. She didn't look good, but he didn't know if it was more physical or mental. He knew she was shaken up by his behavior. But he didn't know how to fix it, any of it.

Tommy was sitting in Studio B in silence, fiddling with a small box when Kwest walked in.

"Tom, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you get home?" Kwest asked as he walked past Tommy and sat in the chair in front of him. He turned so he faced Tommy.

"Yeah, I will."

Kwest watched as Tommy played with the little box, and frowned.

"You haven't asked her yet?"

Tommy looked up and looked away. "No."

"Man, why not? I thought this is what you wanted."

"It was, it is. I just…" He didn't know how to finish she he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"You what?" Kwest asked. Sadie was right, there was definitely something wrong with Jude and Tommy.

"I don't know!" Tommy yelled before he went charging out of the studio; leaving a worried Kwest.

Tommy got into his car and screeched out of the parking lot. Doing ninety down the freeway, he was lucky there were no cops. He turned off and stopped at a red light. He looked right, that was home; Jude. When the light turned green he went left.

Jude was sleeping when the phone started ringing, but when she heard it she was wide awake. Getting a call at two in the morning was never good. Quickly she got out of bed and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jude?"

"Kwest? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"Why else does somebody get a call at two in the morning?"

"Oh, right."

"So why are you calling?" For some reason knowing that there was nothing wrong, worried Jude more.

"Oh, uh… I just wanted to make sure Tom got home safely."

"Oh…" Jude looked at the empty bed, and then walked out to the living room; empty. "He's not home yet, when did he leave?"

Kwest was silent.

"Kwest? What's going on? Where are you?"

"At home."

"At home…" Jude thought to herself a second. "Where's Tommy?"

"I don't know."

"Kwest, what aren't you telling me!" Jude was getting more and more upset every second. When there was only silence, Jude yelled into the phone. "Kwest! Answer me!"

"Jude… he… he left the studio over four hours ago."

"I know, he called. He said he was going out with you…" She thought about what she just said for a moment, and then tears came into her eyes. "Oh god…"

"Jude…Jude!" He heard the phone drop, and then there was silence. "Jude, Jude!"

"Kwest?"

Kwest looked behind him at Sadie as she rubbed her eyes.

"What's going on?"

"I wish I knew…" Kwest starred down at the phone in his hands, scared.

Jude slipped to the floor sobbing her heart out once again. It kept happening, over and over. She'd let him in; just to get it ripped from her soul. Why could it never be easy for her? Why did it always have to hurt? Just one happy ending… just one… it's all she wanted.

When the tears started to dry, the anger took over. She pushed herself up from the floor, grabbing the phone and chucking it at the wall; shattering it into pieces. She walked over to the many pictures around the house, the pictures that they had taken those last few months. Showing them to be a family, to be happy.

"Fake, it's all fake!" Jude screamed as she tossed the pictures one by one to the floor and walls, shattering the glass and breaking the frames.

At that moment, Tommy walked in.

Jude turned to face him. Rage dripping from her eyes, the tears where long gone. Now only dried paths sat useless on her face.

"You…" Jude roared.

"Jude, honey, what's wrong?" Tommy's gut started to twist.

"What's wrong? What's wrong!" Jude asked quietly then screamed. "You're what's wrong! So, Quincy, where the hell have you been?"

"Kwest…" He tried desperately to use his only excuse, knowing it was a lost cause.

"Oh yeah, he called by the way." Jude announced in a normal tone. She paused, when Tommy's eyes closed, she took that as her sign to continue. "He was wondering if you got home safely, after all you left the studio over four hours ago. So we got to talking, evidently he went home after work, which leaves me to ask WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Tommy had nothing to say, he quietly walked to the couch and sat down. He put his head in his hands. Jude followed him, grabbing a picture along the way.

"Answer me Quincy, where the hell have you been for the past four hours?" Jude yelled at him. "Answer me!" Jude threw the picture at the wall. Tommy flinched when he heard the shattering glass and the crack of the frame.

"Fake! It was all just a game to you!" Jude screamed again when Tommy still didn't speak. Grabbing more and more pictures and throwing them at the walls. She got an unpleasant satisfaction as every frame broke and the glass shattered.

When Tommy got up to walk away, Jude followed him again. She pushed him yelling, "Do you have nothing to say! Little Tommy Q, once again, the coward and running away! Can you do anything else!" Jude pushed him again.

Tommy whipped around and grabbed Jude by the arms and shoved her against the wall with all he had. He pinned her against the wall, squeezing her arms as tight as he could; keeping himself from hitting her. Jude looked at Tommy wide eyed, she was scared but refused to let him see. She could feel his anger, his heated gaze and glazed over eyes. That's when she caught the smell of his breath.

"Are you drunk!" Jude glared at him, going for where it would hurt him. "You can't face your problems sober? Or is it just yourself you can't face? You're so pathetic Quincy. So damn pathetic, so damn worthless! Run away, it's all you can ever do!"

Jude hit the wrong button and regretted it the moment she said it. Tommy's eyes widened as did Jude's. With out thinking, Tommy backhanded her across the face. Then he gripped her again by the arm and tossed her as hard as he could. Jude felt herself flying, then hit something hard and heard shattering before she landed on the ground.

It took her a moment to realize she felt a burning on her face and arm. When she opened her eyes she saw she hit the glass shelves on the wall. Her arm had cuts and blood all over it. For a second she was in a daze as she stared down at her arm.

Picking herself up from the glass covered floor, she winced. She looked up to find Tommy staring at her in horror.

"Jude… I'm…" He started towards her.

"Stop, Tommy. Don't come near me." Jude held up a hand to keep him at bay.

"But, Jude…" Tommy pleaded, tears coming to his eyes.

"No. Tommy, I think you should go." Jude couldn't meet his eyes. He tried walking towards her. "Leave, Tommy, please."

He simply nodded and walked out the door.

Jude let the tears she was holding go as she walked to the kitchen and washed up the blood on her arm. Hissing, she wrapped a towel around it. When she went to move, her foot hit something, causing her to look down.

She looked to find a sobbing Luc, holding his blue teddy bear tightly as he buried his face in it. More tears escaped Jude's eyes seeing her son crying brokenly on the kitchen floor. Jude leaned down and tried to pull him into her arms. But he pulled away from her touch. Her heart broke noticing that.

"Luc, honey…" Luc looked up with pain filled eyes, so like his fathers.

Jude opened her arms and Luc flew into them. She picked him up and she rose to her feet. Holding him tightly against her, she went to her bedroom and her purse. She pulled out her phone and called Kwest.

"Hello?"

"Kwest? Can you come get me and Luc?" Jude cried into the phone.

"Jude? What's wrong? What happened?" Kwest was freaking out.

"Just, please, come get us."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

"Hurry."

Jude was sitting on the couch with a still crying Luc in her lap. She tried calming him but it wouldn't work unless she calmed herself first. Kwest walked into the house silently, taking in the broken frames everywhere and then the shattered shelves.

"Jude?" He asked quietly coming around the couch to get a better look at her. "Oh my god."

Jude looked up at Kwest, tears falling form her eyes as she held Luc close. "Can we stay at your place?"

Kwest nodded silently, at a loss for words. Jude nodded to herself and got up from the couch with Luc still in her arms. Kwest grabbed the bags on the floor and followed them out to the car. The car ride was silent. When they got to Kwest's, Sadie was waiting for them at the door.

"Jude? What's going on?"

Jude turned to face Sadie.

"Oh my God…"

Sadie took Luc from Jude; he had worn himself out and now was fast asleep. Sadie took him into one of the guest rooms and came out to the living room to a silent Jude and Kwest who was at a loss as to what to do. She marched over to Jude and took her into her arms. Jude had tried to hold back her tears but finally gave up when Sadie hugged her.

Rocking Jude back and forth, Sadie, cooed into her hair, calming Jude down. Once Jude was done sobbing, she sat up and looked at Kwest and Sadie.

"You probably want to know what's going on…" When they both silently encouraged her, she took a deep breath and told them the story.

Giggling and laughter woke Jude the next morning. Groggily she looked at the empty spot next to her and frowned. Then she heard the shrill laughter and smiled; but her smile didn't last long. Her face burned.

Slowly she rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom, wincing the whole way. Turning on the light she averted her face from the mirror, gathering her composure. She took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. What she saw sickened her.

Her eye was purple and puffy. Which matched her cheek and lip. Dried blood covered the right corner of her mouth and the top of her right eyebrow. _That would explain why Sadie cleaned my forehead… _ Jude thought to herself.

She moved the hair in her eyes, which brought her attention to the white bandage covering her right arm. Her left hand and arm had a few minor cuts, but it was nothing compared to the right.

Jude starred at herself, not knowing what to think. The moment was surreal to her, nothing seemed real. Her battered face didn't look like her own. She moved closer to the mirror and looked into her eyes.

_This isn't me. I look so empty. How could he do this to me? He would never hurt me._ Tears formed in her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheeks. Deforming her face even more. _This can't be happening… It never happened… It never happened…_

Taking a step away from the mirror and sink, Jude fell to the floor. Grabbing the shower curtain, she pulled as hard as she could.

"It never happened… it never happened… it never happened…" She chanted over and over again, closing her eyes tight. "It never _happened_!" The shower curtain gave up against her pull and came tumbling down.

Sadie walked in to find a sobbing Jude, holding onto the shower curtain as if it was her last ray of hope. Holding her hands out, Sadie beckoned Jude; "Come on, Jude."

Jude looked up and starred at Sadie's outstretched hands. Silently, she reached up and grasped them tightly as she got to her feet. The stood facing each other, Sadie watching Jude as she looked away.

"It's going to be okay Jude." Jude looked at Sadie when she spoke. "We'll get you through this, Kwest and I. I promise."

Jude gave her a sad smile. Sadie smiled back and squeezed her hand before she led Jude out of the bathroom and out of the bedroom. The walked through the hall and down the stairs, hand in hand.

Kwest looked up from helping Luc stir the pancake batter, and smiled as they entered the kitchen. "Morning, I hope you're extra hungry."

Jude smiled back, glad there was no pity in his gaze. "Starving."

"Mommy, I make pancakes!" Luc announced lifting his little hands in the air showing her his floured hands.

"And it smells good." Jude leaned over and kissed him noisily on his cheek causing him to giggle.

She turned and left Kwest and Luc to cooking, as she walked over to Sadie sitting at the table. Sadie had her hands folded over her bulging stomach as she watched Kwest with Luc, smiling. Jude followed her gaze and smiled slightly, but soon her smile was gone.

The scene reminded her of how she used to wake up with Tommy and Luc making breakfast. She'd come down the stairs to laughter and sit at the counter smiling at them.

Sadie saw Jude's faraway look and grabbed her hand. She was brought back to reality as she looked at Sadie.

"It's going to be okay, Jude." Jude could only nod.

All day, Jude had a bad feeling at the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong. Nobody had heard anything from Tommy. Despite what he did, Jude was still worried about him.

"_Breaking news… a car drove over the side of the Emerson Bridge. We're taking you live to Kathy on the scene…"_

Jude looked up from the place she sat on the floor, playing with Luc. Kwest and Sadie sat on the couch to the side of her.

"_Some time late last night, the driver of this vehicle…"_

Jude's eyes opened wide as she watched them higher the car from the water below the bridge.

"… _a 2004 dodge viper, swerved off the bridge, hitting the barricades and going over the edge to the water beneath…"_

Tears slowly fell down Jude's face as they showed the damage to the bridge and car.

"… _this just in, it's reported the car belong to a Tom Quincy or as most people know him, Little Tommy Q…"_

Jude tried to close her eyes, but she couldn't keep them closed for long. Her eyes stayed glued to the TV waiting to hear the words, she knew were coming.

"… _his body was found dead in the front drivers seat…"_

Jude turned and faced Sadie and Kwest. Tears fell from their faces, identical to hers.

"Jude…" Sadie choked out.

Before she could say anything else, Jude jumped to her feet and ran outside. She ran down the street, blinded by her tears. Stumbling over her own feet, she didn't notice the rain poring down. After awhile, Jude stopped and looked around. The streets were barren, puddles forming everywhere, street lights shinning dimly. Jude turned to find a park, she started walking towards it. She could feel it beckoning her.

Jude sat on a swing, thinking to herself as silent tears mixed with the rain hammering down on her.

_He's gone, completely gone. I still love him. Even after everything he did, I still love him. I will never stop… But now he's gone. Gone forever… Gone…"_

"I hate you Tom Quincy!" Jude screamed out loud, then quieter; "I hate you… I hate you so much…"

Jude lost her balance on the swing and fell backwards. She landed on the puddled ground with a thud, hitting her head on a rock.

"I hate you… but I love you…" Jude moved her head back and forth, eyes closed tight, trying to fight the fog filling her brain. "… don't leave me, Tommy… please… your gone… don't go…"

One last tear fell from her eye as she gave into the fog filling her brain. "…I loved you…"

Then her body went still and her mind went blank.


	7. Chapter 6 Part Two

**A/N: Song in this is Matt James "I Hate This Song".**

**Chapter Six Part Two: It Was All Just a Dream…**

"Jude! Wake up! It's your birthday!"

Jude moved her head from side to side, fighting her hazy mind.

"Jude come on, wake up already!"

Jude opened her eyes to find Sadie standing above her, frowning.

"Are you okay?"

Jude starred at Sadie, confused. Then looked around.

"This is my old room…" Jude said to herself.

"Do you have a new one?" Sadie asked looking at her like she lost her mind.

"You're not pregnant…" Jude looked Sadie up and down.

"God, no! Have you lost your mind?"

"It was all a dream..." Jude put her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes. "Just a dream…"

"I hope so… otherwise you've completely lost it. And I don't think mom would like to take you to the mental institute on your birthday. So c'mon and get down stairs, mom's taking us out…" Sadie said walking to the door.

"Wait…" Jude snapped her head up. "Is it my birthday?"

Sadie turned and looked a Jude, "Uh… yeah…"

"My eighteenth birthday?"

"What one did you think it was?" Sadie asked confused.

Jude's eyes opened wide as she shot out of bed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sadie asked watching Jude run into her bathroom.

Jude looked at herself, noticing the same clothes she woke up with in her dream. With out a thought to her puffy eyes or smudged make up, she ran past Sadie.

"Jude where are you going?" Sadie yelled after her as she ran down the stairs.

"Tommy…" Jude threw back.

"Tommy?" Sadie thought for a second then ran down the hall. "What does my boyfriend have to do with anything?"

"Jude where are you going? I was…" Victoria asked as Jude ran down the stairs and opened the door, Sadie behind her.

"I'm sorry mom, but there's somewhere I have to be." Jude turned and ran out of the house, leaving a confused Sadie and Victoria behind her.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Tommy cracked his eye open then shut it against the offending sun light.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

Groaning, Tommy threw himself from the couch where he fell asleep last night. He stumbled his way through the living room and to the door.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

"I'm coming… I'm coming, hold your damn horses." He scowled at the door while he fumbled with the locks.

When he finally opened it, he was about to say a snappy comment, but held it to himself when he saw who was at his door.

"Hi…" Jude looked away at Tommy's shocked expression.

Jude stood before him in the same clothes she had on last night, except a little crinkled. She had two tear paths colored black from her make up. Her eyes were blood shot, puffy and slightly wild.

"Jude…" It was all Tommy could say.

"Tommy we need to talk." She announced as she slipped past him and into his house.

"Jude…" Tommy rubbed his eyes as he turned around, closing the door. He wasn't ready to face this. "I can't do this right now."

Jude turned and faced Tommy. "Can't do… Tommy did last night happen? I mean did we seriously…"

He looked at her desperately. "Jude, I thought we talked about this…"

"Oh god… we did." Jude closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall.

"Jude, please, don't make this any harder…" He was pleading with her.

"Any harder, Tommy? Are you kidding me!" Jude looked at him in disbelief. She turned and walked to his living room.

"Where are you going?" He followed her.

"To sit down, I really need to." She sat down and put her head in her hands.

Tommy stood off to the side at the window. After a few seconds of thinking, Jude brought her head up and stared at him.

"Are you planning on moving to the states with Sadie?"

Tommy swung around to face Jude. "Wha… how did you…"

"Oh god…" Jude cried into her hands. "This is not happening!"

"How did you know…?" Tommy frowned at her. "Is there something I am missing here? I mean you come barging into my house after I break your heart… now you're reading my mind… What is going on?"

"I had this dream…" Jude mumbled into her hands. "You, me, Sadie, Kwest… everyone. You left, came back. Sadie and Kwest… married. You beat me… you dying. I went to New York… old man…"

"Jude, what are you talking about? You aren't making sense." Tommy walked over to her and she stood up, still talking to herself.

"There was so much going on… cheese balls… pop tarts… Luc… Luc!" Jude looked up at Tommy, eyes wide. "Oh god…"

Tommy just looked at her the same way Sadie did, like she lost her mind.

"I have to go…" Jude turned and started to walk away, but Tommy grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I… I…" Jude couldn't form the words, but his calm gaze, gathered her courage. Taking a deep breath, she spit it out. "I'm pregnant."

"Whoa…" He let go of her as he backed up a few steps shaking his head, eyes wide. "Wait… what!"

Tommy stared at her, willing her to talk. When she didn't he did. "How do you know? It was last night! I may not know much but I know it takes longer than seven hours to know!"

Jude shook her head and watched him. "Listen Tommy, I know I sound insane, but my dream…"

"Your dream? A dream!" He was extremely upset now. "You freak me out because of a_ dream_! Are you kidding me?"

Something in Jude snapped. "Ya know what Tommy! If you want to believe that last night never happened, then go a head and tell yourself that! You want to think I lost my mind, go a head and think that too! But if I do turn out to be pregnant, you'll be sorry! It never happened, right!" She smirked at him before turning around and marching out of his house, slamming the door on her way.

Tommy stood in shock. He didn't know what to do or think.

When Jude left Tommy's house, she went home. By the time she walked through the door, she was exhausted. She closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Jude!" Sadie came down the stairs. "Where have you been?"

"I had some, uh, stuff to take care of." Jude tried walking past Sadie, but she grabbed her arm before she could get far.

"And what did my boyfriend have to do with it?" She stared at Jude curiously.

"He's my producer, Sadie, stop getting all jealous." Jude yanked her arm away from Sadie.

"Okay…" Jude turned and started walking up the stairs. "Well, then what was wrong with you this morning? You were kinda freaking me out."

Jude stopped and looked at Sadie, silent for a moment before she spoke. "Trust me, you don't want to know." She turned and left a confused Sadie staring after her.

Jude reached her room and fell onto her bed. Closing her eyes, she tried to fall asleep. But before she could, Victoria opened her door.

"Jude! Where did you go?"

Jude sighed. "I had something I had to take care of."

"Oh well, I want to take you and Sadie out today. You know a going away, birthday thing. Your sister leaves in the morning."

"I know, mom, but I really don't feel up to it right now."

"What's wrong honey?" Victoria asked concerned.

"It's nothing; I just didn't sleep too well last night." Jude rubbed her forehead.

"Oh well, if you're sure you don't want to go…" Victoria looked at Jude, frowning. When Jude did say and thing she nodded and left, closing the door behind her.

Jude breathed a sigh of relief and fell instantly asleep. The next morning she woke up and took Sadie to the airport. After a half an hour teary goodbye, Sadie got on the plane and Jude and Victoria went home. Once Jude got home, she went straight to her room and back to bed. Sleeping through another day.

For the next few weeks, Jude spent her time avoiding everyone. Georgia, EJ and Darius tried to get a hold of her to go over the tour, but she refused to answer her phone and call back. They started coming to her house, but she wasn't there. During the day she found her own haven. A place she could go and not feel alone. A place where there was nobody to disturb her. At least, there wasn't anyone.

"So this is where you've been?"

Jude didn't need to turn around to know who was standing behind her. "What do you want Tommy?"

"Everyone's worried about you." Tommy came around to stand at her side.

Jude was sitting on the same bench her and Tommy had sat on when the worked on their first song together. Only this time, Jude faced the lake and her guitar sat unused beside her.

When Jude didn't say anything Tommy looked at her. "What's going on Jude? Why are you avoiding everyone?"

She stayed silent. Tommy took a deep breath and looked back out at the water. "Does this have anything to do with that night?"

"What night Tommy?" Jude looked at him finally. "The one that never happened?"

"Jude…" He turned to face her, Jude looked away.

"Never mind, forget I said anything." She went back to watching the ships floating by the docks.

They both became quiet as they watched the ships bob in the water and the birds fly above. The water as it slapped the docks filled their silence. Neither knew what to say. Tommy was confused but didn't know how to ask his questions. Jude was worried and didn't know how to bring them up.

"Okay, I cant take this anymore." Tommy finally said facing Jude again. "What's going on with you? Ever since that day you've been acting weird, is this about that 'dream' you had?"

Jude rolled her eyes and continued to watch a seagull fly past.

"Jude, it was just a dream." Jude looked at Tommy sharply.

"Just a dream? If it was 'just a dream' then how did I know you were thinking about leaving with Sadie?" Tommy's mouth moved but no words came out. "Exactly. By the way, why didn't you leave with Sadie?"

"Jude, don't." He stopped an argument before it started. "You know, it's probably just deja-vu."

"Yeah, probably…" Jude scoffed.

"What's that suppose to mean?" He frowned.

"Do you remember the last part of our last conversation?"

"The last part…?" Tommy thought to himself, Jude smirked. It took him a few minutes but Tommy finally got her point; his jaw dropped and eyes widened. "Wha… are… you're…"

Jude watched him move his mouth a few more times, trying to come up with the words to say.

"Do you know, I-I mean for sure?" He was stuttering and his heart was beating rapidly.

"For sure, no; but I have this," Jude held up a box. "To make sure."

Tommy looked at the box and closed his eyes as he rubbed his hands over them. "This isn't happening…"

"It is, so what are you going to do about it?" Jude grabbed her guitar and hopped off the bench. She gave Tommy a look before slipping past him and walking to her car.

Running his hand through his hair, Tommy turned around and faced Jude's retreating back.

"Jude"

Jude stopped and turned around.

"I want to be there when you take it."

She looked down at the box in her and then looked back up at Tommy. "Then follow me home."

"No. Come to my place, it's safer, with your mom and all."

"Okay," Jude nodded. "Then I'll follow you."

Tommy echoed her nod and headed for his car. Jude followed him from street to street until they stopped outside his house. She got out of her car and met him at the door. They didn't speak as he opened his door and followed her in the house.

"So, where's your bathroom?" Jude turned to face him, box in hand.

Tommy looked at Jude a moment then extended his arm to the stairs. "We can use the bathroom in my room."

Jude just nodded as she led the way upstairs. When she got to the top she stopped.

"The double doors on the left"

She nodded again as she turned and opened the doors. His room, like the rest of his house was white walled. He had a king sized bed on the wall the door was on, with a navy blue and black silk sheets and comforter spread across it. There were two night stands made of black metal and glass tops. A black dresser sat on the wall left of the bed and next to the doors. Double french glass doors sat on the wall opposite of the bed. On the far wall there was a black leather couch and a glass coffee table in front of it.

Tommy watched Jude look around the room. "Is it what you thought it would be?"

Jude looked around again. "Well, it's clean."

Tommy frowned.

"So, bathroom?" Jude turned and faced him.

"Oh, right over there." Tommy pointed at the door next to his bed.

Jude turned and walked to the bathroom while Tommy sat on his bed and turned on the plasma TV opposite of his bed.

His bathroom had a sink opposite of the door and large mirror over it. When you turn left, a large jet soaking tub lay in the corner with large windows next to it. Going further there was a shower and two doors. The first door led to a large walk in closet and the second to a toilet.

"Are you okay in there?" Tommy yelled from his room.

Jude snapped out of her daze and yelled back, "Yeah." Before closing the door.

Tommy tried his hardest to concentrate on the TV, but couldn't. Getting sick of watching TV but not understanding what was happening, he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. After a few minutes Jude came out of the bathroom and he sat up quickly.

"Now we wait." Jude said to Tommy's scared expression.

He nodded and looked away. She walked over to him and sat down beside him on the bed. Tommy was freaking out inside and Jude could read it in his eyes and all over his face. She put her hand on his, trying to comfort him. He grasped her hand tightly when it touched his. Silently they both stared at the TV before them, not seeing anything but thin air.

When the buzzer Jude had set went off, Tommy jumped. They looked over at the bathroom door in unison. Suddenly, Jude became nervous. This was the truth to her dream; was she dreaming or living another fate?

Looking at Tommy, Jude knew he wouldn't be able to get up and check. His hands were shaking and his eyes looked wild and frightened. With one last squeeze to Tommy's hand, she got up and walked to the bathroom.

When Jude came out her face was unreadable.

"W-What does it say?" Tommy was back to stuttering.

Jude quietly gave him the test and sat down beside him again. He looked at her until she sat, then he slowly looked at the test in his hand. His heart started beating faster when he saw the results.

"Oh my god…" He dropped the test and put his face in his hands. "Positive… what have I done?"

"Don't worry, it's going to be alright." Jude said rubbing his back.

"Okay? Jude, I'm dating your sister." He looked at her. "I'm your producer. You just turned eighteen. Your parents are going to kill me. Georgia is going to kill me, Darius and Kwest too for that matter."

"Bright side, EJ just might love you. After all, free publicity." Jude tried to joke, but Tommy wasn't in a joking mood.

"Jude, I'm serious. There's no way this is going to be okay."

"Yes it will Tommy." Jude tried to reason with him.

"How do you know Jude?" When she went to say something, he cut her off. "Your dream, right? Jude, that was a dream, this is real life! Things aren't all rainbows and pretty flowers in real life."

"Trust me, Tommy; my dream was anything but rainbows and pretty flowers." She was getting angry. _Why won't anyone listen to me!_ "I know things will be okay, you just have to be willing to listen to me!"

"I can't do this… I don't have room in my life for this." He went back to rubbing his face.

"Well, it's not a 'this' Tommy! It's a baby, and if you don't have room for it then I guess you have to room for me." She got up and started walking to the door.

"Jude, wait" She stopped and faced him.

"Do you want this baby or not Tommy?" Jude asked.

"Jude… I…" He couldn't say it, but when he looked away; Jude knew his answer.

"Goodbye Tommy." Tears started poring from Jude's eyes. Her throat closed as she turned back around.

"Jude…"

She stopped one last time at the door and faced him. "At least this time you know about him. But I never thought you knowing would hurt worse than when you didn't. Don't worry; everything will be okay for you. I'm leaving anyways. Now you can tell Georgia and everyone why I left."

"Jude, please…" It was all he could choke out; tears were welling up in his eyes.

"Goodbye Quincy. Take care of my sister, because you obviously love her more than you ever will me. I was a fool to believe a dream when it came to how you felt."

With one last look at him, Jude turned and walked out of the room, down the stairs, through the door and out of his life.

The next day Jude was, once again, heartbroken on a plane. Only this time things were different. It hurt worse, there were times it was hard to breathe; but then she remembered the child she carried and knew she could make it. There was more than herself on the line. She intended to find some answers, and she was going to.

All the while, Tommy was put on the line. It was up to him to tell everyone what was going on. He walked into G-Major with a weight on his shoulders that would never be lifted.

"Tom, where's Jude?" Georgia was on him the second he walked through the doors. "You said you would get her in here."

"Well I guess I lied then, Georgia." Tommy told her softly.

"What's going on? Where's Jude?" Georgia was getting worried. Tommy's face was blank and his voice emotionless.

"Grab EJ, Darius and Kwest and I'll tell you." He turned and walked into the conference room. Georgia was confused but did as he said.

Once everyone was situated at the conference table, Tommy took a deep breath. He wasn't ready for this, but like everything else, it wasn't going to wait for him.

"Jude is gone." Tommy stated out front.

"What!" Darius exploded.

"What are you saying Tommy? Why is Jude gone?" Georgia asked putting a restraining hand on Darius' shoulder.

"She, uh, she left because of me and some, um, complicated matters." Tommy stumbled his way through his explanation. He didn't want to give them the real reasons if he didn't have to. "I don't know if or when she'll be back. I don't even know where she went."

"Somebody better damn well find her! She's going on the tour if I have to chain her to the bus!" Darius announced angrily.

"Don't worry, we'll find her." Georgia turned to Tommy. "Tom, I want you to call her, see if she'll answer."

"It's no use Georgia, she won't talk to me." Tommy stated calmly.

"Why what did you do to her?" Darius asked glaring at him.

"Nothing!" Tommy yelled.

"Yeah, I bet!" Darius yelled back.

"Okay, guys calm down." Georgia said standing. "Darius, EJ come with me. We have a mess to fix. Don't worry Tom, we'll find her."

Georgia ushered EJ and Darius from the room leaving Tommy and Kwest alone. Kwest was silent during the whole episode, but now he stood and walked over to Tommy.

"What happened?"

Tommy looked up a Kwest and sighed.

"T, man, you've got to tell me. What's going on?" Kwest tried again.

Very quietly Tommy said, "Jude's pregnant."

"What!" Kwest looked at him in disbelief. "Man, you didn't…"

Tommy looked at Kwest.

"You did." Kwest closed his eyes for a moment. "What were you thinking? What about Sadie?"

"I don't know Kwest! Okay? I don't know what I was thinking, it just sorta happened."

"Just happened? Nothing just happens, Tom." Kwest said.

"Well this did!" Tommy rose to his feet and walked away in aggravation.

"When?"

Tommy didn't turn to face him. Instead he looked a picture of Jude from her first album that was on the wall. "Her birthday."

"Well that explains a lot!" Kwest said walking towards Tommy. "What did you do for her to leave? She wouldn't just get up and leave unless there was a reason behind it."

"I told her that I didn't want the baby." Kwest stared at Tommy's back in shock. But his shock was short lived and he shoved Tommy around to face him.

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know! I was scared; I've lived twenty-four years without having to face this. I wasn't prepared for it."

"You will never be prepared for anything that has to do with Jude. " Kwest told him annoyed. "Let's just hope you didn't screw things up worse then they seem."

Kwest shook his head and walked to the door. Before he could get far Tommy stopped him. "How can things get any worse than they are?"

Kwest looked back at him. "She could never come back."

Giving Tommy one last look, Kwest left him speechless. Throwing a chair out of his way, Tommy slammed his hands down in the table. He bit his lip keeping himself from yelling. Slamming his fist down on the table on last time, Tommy straightened up and followed Kwest out of the room.

**BACK TO JUDE**

This time when Jude got off the plane, there was no Jamie and Kat welcome party. She quickly grabbed her bags and caught a cab. When she finally got through the New York traffic, she had the cab driver stop at the park. Giving the man his money, she grabbed her bags and walked into the park; a guitar strapped to her shoulder and a duffle bag in her hand.

She walked for fifteen minutes before she found the bench from her dream. It was exactly how she remembered. The only thing missing was George.

Not knowing what to do next, Jude sat on the bench and looked around. She sat there for a few minutes waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. She slipped off her guitar, setting it beside her; as she began her wait.

When the sunny sky started dimming and the sun slipped back into the horizon, Jude took it as her sign to leave. So, grabbing her guitar and bag, she headed out of the park and down the streets that were eerily familiar. Out of pure instinct she made her way to a large brick building.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the third button on the pad beside the door.

"Hello?"

"Hey Andrews, open the door."

"Jude?"

"Yep, surprise!"

"What? How did you know where we lived?"

"Listen, Jamie, as much as I want to catch up with you, it's freezing out here and I am tired."

"Oh, right. I'll be right down."

"No, Jamie, it's fine. Just buzz me in."

"But Jude…"

"Just do it Andrews."

"Okay, okay, bossy aren't we?"

"Yep."

_Buzz._

Jude swung the door open and marched up the stairs before her until she got to the second floor and turned left. Walking past a couple doors, she knocked briskly on the third.

Kat flung the door open and screamed. "Jude!"

Before she knew what was happening, Jude was grabbed by the arm and dragged into the apartment and smothered in hugs.

When Kat finally pulled away, Jamie grabbed Jude and hugged her tightly.

"It's good to see you Harrison." Jamie said as he let her go.

"You too Jamie." Jude turned to Kat. "And you, I have missed you both so much!"

"Ditto. Now, why are you here and how did you know where to go?" Jamie asked getting down to business.

"What I can't come visit my two best friends?" Jude asked walking further into the apartment. It was just like in her dream.

"You can, but you're a rock star now, don't you have things you have to do?" Kat asked following her. They both sat on the couch. "Like a tour?"

"Oh yeah, uh… that's been kinda put off for now." Jude hedged.

"Why? Is there something wrong?" Jamie sat across from them on a chair.

"Well, uh, yeah sorta." Jude looked away.

"Jude what are you not saying? By the way, how _did_ you know where to find us?" Kat asked curiously.

"Oh well, I kind of had this dream a couple of weeks ago… bazaar really."

"Okay… and what does this dream have to do with anything?" Kat asked slowly.

"Well, it kind of has to do with everything…" When Jamie and Kat just stared at her. Jude told them all about her dream. She could still remember it vividly, every scene, every emotion, everything.

When she was done Kat was the first to speak. "Okay so… the dream meant what?"

"I don't know," Jude said running her hand through her hair. "But so far almost everything has matched up. Where you lived, what Tommy was thinking…"

"Whoa, wait a second. So you and Tommy…" Jamie asked with wide eyes.

Jude blushed as she looked away and nodded.

"Jude! Are you kidding me! Little Tommy Q! Boyz Attacks own!" Jamie looked disgusted.

Kat threw a magazine at Jamie and grabbed Jude's arm to get her attention back on her. "So wait, you and Tommy… isn't he dating Sadie?"

"Yep," Jude said as she leaned back against the couch setting her head on the back of the couch. "About two years now."

"Did you say that so far everything has come true in your dream?" Kat asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, everything that I haven't changed one way or another." Jude spoke to the ceiling.

"Does that mean you're…" Kat trailed off, but the look Jude gave her showed that she didn't need to finish. "Well… that's definitely something…"

"You're what?" Jamie asked confused. "What's going on? Did I miss something?"

Jude looked at Jamie and rolled her eyes. Kat smirked at him, and then looked back at Jude. "So what happened? I mean you did tell him didn't you?"

"Yeah…" Jude sighed. "I told him, but…"

"But…"

"But, he freaked. He said he didn't want us." Jude said tears coming into her eyes.

"'Us' who's 'us'?" Jamie piped in. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"

Kat put her hand up to stop Jamie's questions and continued to study Jude. "He told you he didn't want the baby? Are you serious?"

"Baby? What baby? Can someone_ please_ tell me what it is I am missing?" Both Jude and Kat glanced at Jamie then looked away dismissing him.

"Yeah, Kat, I am completely serious. I wish I wasn't, but I am. He doesn't want me or the baby." Jude saw Kat get mad and tried to reassure her. "Don't worry Kat, I will be fine, trust me. I don't need him, we don't."

"Jude, how can you be calm about this?" Kat asked baffled.

"Because I have to be," Jude said sitting up. "You don't mind if I use your shower, do you?"

"No, go ahead. I'm guessing you know where it is…" Jude nodded as she smiled at her.

Jamie watched stupidly while Jude grabbed her bag and walked down the hall and into the bathroom. When the door closed he looked at Kat, eyes still wide. "What baby?"

Kat rolled her eyes, got up and grabbed Jude's guitar taking it into the spare room.

"Why won't anyone answer me? Am I invisible?" Jamie asked himself looking down at his hands then back at the empty hall way.

Once Jude got out of the shower, she followed her nose into the living room where Kat and Jamie had just opened the pizza box.

"You guys read my mind." Jude announced as she headed straight for the box, a gleam in her eye.

They dug into the pizza. Kat was the first to lay back and groan after three slices and two bread sticks. Jamie was next after four slices and 5 bread sticks. They sat and watched as Jude grabbed slice after slice, bread stick after bread stick.

"Should we time her?" Jamie asked Kat staring at Jude.

Kat laughed and pushed Jamie, Jude smiled at him with food in her mouth.

"Oh, that's gross Harrison."

Jude laughed as she sat back. Resting against the couch.

"Do you want the last piece?" Jamie asked Jude.

"No, you guys can have it." Jude rubbed her stomach. "I'm pretty full."

"Kat?"

"No" Kat groaned. "I don't want to look at another piece."

"Well, I don't want it either." Jamie announced as he went to shut the lid of the box.

"Wait!" Jude stopped him and grabbed the lonely piece of pizza; shoving it in her mouth. "No need to let perfectly good food go to waste."

Jamie raised his eyebrows in amusement and Kat laughed. Jamie shook his head and grabbed the box and empty bread stick bags, taking them into the kitchen. Jude licked her lips as Jamie walked back into the room. They sat in a comfortable silence watching TV, but every so often, Jamie would stare at Jude.

"Did I grow horns on my head or something?" Jude asked Jamie annoyed.

"Huh? Oh, uh, no, no… why do you ask?" Jamie fumbled with his words.

"Because you keep staring at me" Jude said simply. "You haven't suddenly got another crush on me did you?"

"He better not" Kat said glaring at Jamie.

"No! No, I'm over that, I-I was just… uh…" He looked around hoping something would come to mind. "Seeing if…um… uh…"

"So, Kat told you?" Jude asked with amusement in her voice. "And you were trying to find something different in my appearance? I'm not even a month along, changes wont happen for a little while."

"Uh… right…" He started blushing. Jude and Kat laughed at his embarrassment. Jude pushed herself to her feet.

"Alright guys, I'm heading to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Jude."

"Night."

Jude just waved at them as she stumbled into the room and shut the door. With a sigh, she fell onto the bed and was out a second later.

The next day, Jude left Kat and Jamie's apartment to go back to the park. As she entered the park, the once perfectly still trees started rustling. The wind whipped her hair as she walked the same paths and took the same turns from her dream.

As she got closer and closer to the bench her pulse quickened. Hurrying, she almost ran to the familiar twisted path. She made a sharp turn and stopped looking at the bench. It was empty. Her hopes died.

At a slower pace she walked to the bench. Pulled out the guitar she brought with her and started playing. She didn't know what she was playing; she just went along as it came. Chords came to her as she closed her eyes. Her heart led her through the melody as she started to hum. Before long her humming became words.

"_Flat on my back… I feel lower than the floor…_

_It's time to stop crying… My eyes are so damn sore…_

_I don't think I died 'cause I still feel the tears…_

_From the corner of my eyes to the center of my ears…"_

People started stopping, tossing coins and bills into her guitar case she accidentally left open. Jude never noticed the people as they watched her. She held her eyes closed tight as she sung the words that came to her.

"_And I hear myself crying… It's become my favorite song…_

_I know every word and every verse for every time that we were wrong…_

_I hear myself crying like so many times before…_

_The song always starts when you close the door…"_

Tears slipped past her eyes as she sung. She cried for what she lost and what she gained. For herself, for her child; who was unwanted by his father. For Sadie, who will be heart broken when she finds out about what happened between her and Tommy. When she finds out about the baby. She even cried for Tommy, he was as lost as she felt. But mainly, Jude cried for herself. For the place she put herself in and the pain she was going to bring herself.

"_Bags under my eyes…I don't feel alive…_

_I don't think I died… My soul must have lied…_

_I still feel my tears…From the corners of my eyes…_

_To the center of my ears…Where I still hear your lies…"_

She was tired, so tired. All she ever did was play a non stop game with Tommy. A dance that would never end; one step forward, two steps back. They never got anywhere. Circles, round and round they went. She had to stop the game, she had to. Jude's voice became raw as she let the music take over her emotions.

"_And I hear myself crying… It's become my favorite song…_

_I know every word and every verse for every time that we were wrong…_

_I hear both of us crying and I hate this god damn song…_

_Why can't I stop what we know is wrong…?"_

Jude closed her eyes tighter as she picked up the beat. The chords ringing out harshly. Using her tears to her advantage, she took a deep breath and sang deeper. Words rang from a place she was scared to go.

"_Flat on my back…I feel lower than the floor…_

_It's time to stop crying… My eyes are so damn sore…_

_I don't think I died 'cause I still feel the tears…_

_From the corners of my eyes to the center of my ears…"_

It was time for her to let that night go. If she didn't it would haunt her like it did in her dream. She couldn't live with that. Time to put that past back into the past, even if that did mean Tommy. You can't hold on to something you never had. Jude's voice reached its climax as she sung the last part.

"_And I hear myself crying…It's become my favorite song…_

_I know every word and every verse for every time we were wrong…_

_I hear both of us crying… I hate this damn song…_

_Why can't we stop what we know is wrong…?"_

Tears slipped down Jude's cheeks becoming a part of the guitar she played so passionately. The chords died as her voice faded. Only the silence of nature echoed in her stead. Still refusing to open her eyes, she kept them closed. Scared to face the world around her.

_Clap. Clap. Clap._

"I knew you would be back."

Jude snapped her head up and her eyes opened wide. Setting her guitar aside, she launched herself at the older man standing in front of her. She hugged him tight, scared that he would fade any second.

"George…" Jude whispered softly.

"Don't worry girl, I'm not disappearing."

Jude pulled away and looked at George warily. "What did you call me?"

He didn't even blink as he lied smoothly. "I called you little miss, why?"

Jude frowned at him and sat back down. "No you didn't. You called me 'girl', why?"

George sighed as he sat down next to her, but stayed silent. Jude was forced to break the silence.

"What is going on? How can you remember me? It was a dream." She asked confused and lost.

"Your right it was a dream. It was your own personal 'Christmas Carol' minus the Christmas and almost everything else." Jude gave him a look. "It was your own type of 'Christmas yet to come'."

"Minus the Christmas?" Jude teased.

"This is no time to be joking around, girl, this is serious." George stated.

"You just said it again, why do you keep calling me that. You never did in my dream." She said in a rush, and then asked curiously. "What's so serious?"

"Calm down, I will answer your questions. Just let me speak." When he saw Jude wasn't going to interrupt him he continued. "As I said before, your dream was a look into your future. You have a very rare chance to change your fate and Tommy's too. All you have to do is take it."

"But I have changed it." Jude told him. "I told Tommy about the baby. Doesn't that change everything?"

"I wish I could say it does, but it's not enough." George said grimly. "That boy is way too stubborn for his own good. You'll need a mule to knock some sense into him."

Jude nodded silently, thinking. "So, what is his fate now that I told him? I mean, it has to be different right? It can't be as bad as it was."

"That's what you think. But like I said, it's not enough; you don't want to see your fate at this moment. Trust me." He looked at her, sadness in his eyes.

"Why? What happens?" When all he did was shake his head, Jude grabbed his arm. "Please, what happens?"

"I'm sorry; I can only show you once." He looked at her. "There's nothing I can do from here but tell you that telling him isn't enough."

"What am I suppose to do?" Jude asked frustrated and worried.

"I don't know that's up to you, but you have to change things. Tommy's life is in your hands, and your life is just as fragile; don't forget that." Something about George seemed familiar, but she didn't know what. "I am trying to help you."

"Why? I don't get it, what's going on!" Jude didn't know what to think. The whole situation was surreal. "What do you want?"

"I'm here to make sure nothing happens to you and Tommy. You two need each other, without neither of you will be whole." George told her simply. "And that can have dire consequences."

"Do you mean Tommy's death?"

He nodded. "And his drinking. When Tommy drinks heavily he becomes a different person, a person that will hurt those who mean most to him. Try to keep him from drinking."

She nodded in response. "Why do you want us to be happy? To be together? I don't get it. Who are you?"

George sighed realizing he had to be leaving. He stood; Jude looked up at him and realized that there was absolutely nobody around. Not another soul stirred, everything was peaceful. Before turning to leave, he looked at her.

"I guess you could call me your guardian angel, I'll be watching you." George handed her something wrapped in a piece of white cloth. "Don't give up, hold strong and change fate it's in your hands now."

When he turned to leave, Jude flew after him. "George, wait!"

He stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

Jude hugged him tight whispering. "Thank you, I won't let you down."

"I know," He hugged her tightly. "I believe in you girl."

A second later he let her go and walked away; gone in less than a second. Leaving a wide eyed Jude behind. _Why is he so familiar…?_

She heard people around her and snapped back into reality. Looking at the cloth in her hands she frowned. Unraveling the cloth, she found a miniature portrait in half of a locket. Jude gasped as she stared at the smiling red head looking back at her.

_She looks just like me… how can that be?_

She then looked at the cloth in her hand. It was a handkerchief, white lace boarding the edges. Jude gently re-wrapped the half of a locket in the handkerchief and walked back to her guitar. She slipped the locket half into the small compartment in her case by the neck of the guitar and set her guitar in, locking it tight. She picked up her guitar and walked back to Kat and Jamie's pondering her overly bazaar day.

"You're going back? But you just got here!"

Jude turned and looked at Jamie. "I know but I just really need to get back. Too much was left unresolved. I can't just leave things like that."

"But…" Jamie whined.

Kat silenced him with a smack on the arm. "Jamie save it, she has to do this."

"Yeah but we never get to see her. Will you be coming back?" He looked so sad that Jude stopped putting her stuff into her bag and went and hugged him.

"Of course I'll come back. I just have to get everything worked out. Then I'll come back and take full advantage of your welcome to the point you'll want to kick me out."

"Never, Harrison." Jude smiled at him as she let go and zipped up her duffle bag.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Jamie, Kat and Jude hurried out of the apartment and into the waiting cab outside. They sat in silence all the way to the airport. Each in their own thoughts, Jude was trying to figure out what to say to Tommy when she got back.

_How_ _do you get through to someone with a skull as thick as a brick wall?_ Jude laughed to herself;_ I could always use a sludge hammer. Then again, I don't want him dead. _

"What's so funny Harrison?" Jamie asked the smirking Jude.

"Huh? Oh, uh… nothing. Just thinking…" She gave him an innocent smile.

"Right…"

"We're here" The cab driver announced.

They got out of the cab; Jude grabbed her guitar and bag. The three of them stood facing each other.

"So this is it." Jamie said.

"Yep, but I'll be back. Plus you can always come visit me." Jude gave them a small smile.

"We'll miss you" Kat said hugging Jude tightly.

"I'll miss you guys too." She said softly.

When Kat let go, Jamie grabbed Jude and pulled her in for a big bear hug. "Have a safe flight."

"I'll try." Jude was let go of and made her way to the doors. Before she entered the airport Jude turned and waved to them. Jamie and Kat waved back, Jamie put his arm around Kat like he was saying goodbye to his child. Giving them one last smile, Jude turned and entered the airport. She ran for her gate, making it just in time.

Through the flight Jude worried over what she was going to say to Tommy. _What do you say to someone who told you that he didn't want the child you carried?_ Jude thought: _How do I get him to come around? Will he even talk to me… what about Sadie? I don't think I am ready for this. Well, ready or not, it's happening, there's no turning back. If he cares for me like I think he does, then he'll pull through. No matter how scared… right? Oh, I wish I knew…_

Hours later when the plane landed, she was still worried about what to say to Tommy. She got off the plane as quickly as she could and grabbed her guitar and bag. Once she caught a cab she headed home. Pulling up to her house she paid the cab driver and went inside.

"Mom? Are you home?" Jude called out.

"Jude?" Victoria called from the kitchen. "Is that you honey?"

"Yeah mom, it's me." She called back.

Then Victoria came running to her and wrapped her in a hug. "I am so glad you're home!"

Jude laughed a little. "I was only gone like three days."

"But it felt like three years to me. I'm not used to an empty house." Victoria let her go and stepped back a little. "Are you hungry? How are Kat and Jamie? I tried calling your phone."

Jude took every question as it came to her. "No I'm not hungry. Kat and Jamie are great and my phone is here. I forgot to grab it."

"Oh, well, Georgia has been trying to find you. She said she needed to talk to you about your tour."

"I forgot about her, I'll talk to her later." Jude said as she turned to head upstairs.

"Jude, I really think you should go talk to her now." Victoria yelled after her.

Jude stopped and sighed. "You're right. I'll just drop my stuff off and head out to the studio."

"Okay honey, I'm going to the store to pick up some groceries." Her mom yelled as Jude disappeared up the stairs.

"Okay mom, see you when I get home." Jude yelled back as she entered her room. She put her guitar against one wall and tossed her bag against another.

Jude groaned as she fell onto her bed. "I am so tired."

Her hand hit something hard. Leaning up, she spotted her phone. She flipped it open to see missed calls from Georgia, Darius, EJ and Kwest. She scrolled down a little and found two calls from Tommy.

_Hmm… I wonder what he wants…_

Jude jumped out of bed and grabbed her car keys and purse. After she had everything she skipped down the stairs and out to her car. She hurried out of the drive way and to G-Major. Once she got there she spotted the famous blue Viper and parked next to it. On her way past it, she ran her fingers over the bright blue paint smiling to herself. She was still smiling when she entered the doors to the building. EJ spotted her the second she entered and was running to her.

"Jude! Where have you been?" EJ asked worried and annoyed.

"I, uh, needed some time to myself." Jude tried to explain.

"Well, Darius wants to kill you and Georgia is freaking out that something happened." EJ told her as she grabbed her arm and pulled her to Georgia's office.

"Well, I'm fine and I was just in New York… EJ where are you taking me?" Jude asked as she was yanked around like a doll.

"To see Georgia. She's been worried sick." EJ told her as she shoved her through the doors announcing. "I found her!"

Georgia swung around in her chair and faced the pair. "Jude! I am so glad you're back, I have been worried sick." She got up and hugged Jude fiercely. "Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me?"

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry you. I just had something I had to take care of." Jude closed her eyes and hugged Georgia back. "I thought Tommy told you what was going on?"

They pulled away from each other, both confused. "No, he said something about complicated matters and left it at that. He hasn't said anything else."

_Of course not, now I have to tell them all. Can't he just do one thing right?_ Jude thought.

"Jude! Where the hell have you been!" Darius yelled as he walked in the office.

"Oh shove it Darius, leave her alone she just got here." Georgia told him annoyed.

"Exactly why she deserves a good tongue lashing, we have plans to go over a tour to schedule. We're behind now, thanks to her." Darius shot back.

"Give her a second to breathe, Darius." Georgia told him.

"She's had enough time to breathe." Darius said then turned his attention to EJ. "Go get Tommy and Kwest; we have a tour to book."

"Wait!" Jude said stopping everyone. "There's something I should tell you guys."

They stared at her for a few seconds before Darius said. "I'm sure it can wait, cause this cant. EJ go get them, now. And meet us in the conference room."

With that EJ and Darius walked out of the room, leaving a thoughtful Georgia and a incredulous Jude.

"Does he not hear a thing I say?" Jude asked looking at the open door Darius had just exited out of.

"Nope, not unless he wants to hear it." Georgia told her. She studied Jude for a minute before speaking again. "Jude, what's going on?"

Jude turned and faced Georgia and sighed. "I don't think you want to know."

Georgia leaned back against her desk. "Whether I want to know or not is not a choice. I have a feeling I have to know."

Jude nodded and sat down in a chair before Georgia. "I can't do this tour, Georgia. I don't even know when I will be able to."

Georgia watched Jude while asking. "And why is this?"

Jude had to look away.

"Jude? Come on it can't be that bad."

Very softly Jude said, "I'm pregnant."

Georgia went very still. Jude peaked up at her and quickly glanced away from Georgia's shocked expression. She was waiting for the yelling.

"Jude?" Tommy asked as he walked into the room.

Both Jude and Georgia looked at Tommy. He stood there uncomfortably as Georgia looked between him and Jude. He felt the tension in the room. As much as he wanted to turn and run, his feet stayed planted to the floor.

"I think you both have some explaining to do." Georgia said softly.

Tommy tried to speak but his mouth would only move he couldn't form the words he wanted to say. Jude couldn't bring herself to look at Georgia so she fixed her gaze on a spot on the floor.

"What is everyone doing in here?" Darius thundered as he entered the room. "I said conference room." It took him only a second to notice something happened. "What's going on?"

Kwest and EJ entered behind Darius. Everyone stood in an awkward silence. Tommy and Jude not looking at anyone, Georgia staring at them, Darius looking between the three of them and EJ and Kwest standing to the side waiting.

"Somebody better tell me what's going on." Darius said then looked at Georgia when no answers were forthcoming. "G, what's going on?"

Georgia still didn't look at Darius. "It seems our Jude here is pregnant."

EJ gapped and Kwest closed his eyes as he shook his head. It only took Darius a second to catch onto Georgia's conclusions.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Darius grabbed Tommy by the shirt and swung him against the wall. He held him there as he punched him straight in the face.

"Darius! No!" Jude launched herself to her feet trying to pull Darius from Tommy. But it was no use, she wasn't strong enough. Suddenly she was pushed away as Kwest grabbed Darius and tugged him away from Tommy. Darius struggled in Kwest's grip, but Kwest managed to hold him tight.

"What, you got sick of ruining your life, now you have to ruin hers!" Darius yelled. "Can't you ever think with the right head? Why must you always ruin everyone else! First my sister, now Jude!"

"Kwest, get him out of here." Georgia yelled.

Kwest did as she asked and pulled Darius out the door. Jude ran to Tommy and touched his cut lip softly.

"Ouch," Tommy hissed.

"Sorry" Jude grabbed his hand, "Come on you need something for that lip and cheek."

Jude pulled him into Studio A. She left and grabbed some ice and a wash cloth. When she entered the room again, she put the ice in his hand and directed it to his cheek. Once he had a firm grip on the ice she gently whipped the blood from his lip and face. Tommy hissed as he watched Jude.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Jude asked irritated.

"I didn't deserve to. I deserve the shit kicked out of me." He said it so softly; Jude didn't doubt he believed it. He wouldn't look at her when she looked up at him.

"You didn't deserve it, Tommy." Jude said softly, willing him to look at her.

"Yes I did. I ruined your life." He still couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"No, you didn't." Jude grabbed his chin forcing him to look at her. "You gave me the greatest gift when you gave me this baby." When Tommy looked like he was going to argue with her, Jude silenced him by taking his hand and putting it on her stomach. "This is our child, Tommy. Ours; a part of me and a part of you. We, you and I, we created this life. How can you regret that? There's no turning back, Tommy. This baby is here, whether you're ready or not, he is yours. I wouldn't give him up for anything; I want this child more than I have ever wanted anything else. I don't regret that night, and I never will."

Tommy stared at Jude. He could read the love and contentment in her eyes. He looked down at where his hand sat on her still flat belly.

_His child. His and Jude's child. Their baby. _

Tommy slowly smiled as he looked up into Jude's eyes. "Ours."

Jude copied his smile and jumped into his lap. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as she hugged him tight. Tommy dropped the ice in his hand and held Jude to him tightly. He closed his eyes as he buried his face into her hair. Jude kissed him on the cheek and pulled back a little. Foreheads touching, they stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry; for everything." Tommy whispered. "I was just so scared. I mean… it's not every day a guy is told that he's going to be a father. Especially me. It's such a big commitment; I never thought I would have children."

Jude smiled sweetly. "Well, you better get used to it cause in eight months you will officially be the father to a little blue eyed devil, but the sweetest boy ever."

"How do you know it will be a boy…?" He asked confused. "Wait, your dream right?"

Jude nodded smiling. "I named him Lucien. Luc for short."

"Interesting choice of a name." Tommy commented. "But how about little Tommy?"

Jude laughed. "I am not allowing my son to have your name; I want to be able to yell at you with out him thinking I am yelling at him."

Tommy chuckled to himself. "Well, I guess we have a little while to decide. I mean he may turn out to be a she."

"Nope, I am having a little boy." Jude said stubbornly.

Tommy just smiled at her.

"Hey lovebirds, G wants to see you." Kwest spoke from the door.

Their smiles left their faces as the pulled a part and stood up. Tommy took her hand as they left the Studio to feed themselves to the angry wolves.

They entered the conference room, looking around wearily. Darius stood on the far side of the room, Georgia was standing by him with EJ beside her. They turned to face Jude and Tommy when they entered.

Jude stopped right inside the door, scared to go any further. Tommy had the same butterflies in his stomach, but he squeezed Jude's hand giving the courage she needed.

"Tom, Jude we need to talk about this." Georgia stated. "Now we need to know where you two stand. Are you together or not?"

Jude looked at Tommy. "Together…" Tommy read her need for reassurance and smiled at her.

"Okay, now we need to sort this mess out." Darius stayed silent as he glared at Tommy.

"So first, the tour" Georgia looked at Darius and at EJ who nodded. "We're going to put that on hold for awhile. The last thing we need is for something to happen to Jude."

EJ nodded again scribbling down a few things. She looked up asking, "What about the media? They're going to find out sooner or later, we need to take control now while we still can."

Georgia nodded in agreement. "I'm leaving that up to you."

"So, is that it?" Tommy asked when they fell silent.

"For now, it is."

"So… we're free to go?" Jude hesitated.

"You're free to go to Studio A and get working." Jude and Tommy quickly turned and went to the Studio.

When they were safe behind the doors, they sighed. So far, still alive. Jude looked at Tommy grinning.

"What?" He asked, copying her grin.

"This whole thing seems so surreal, ya know? I mean in my dream nothing was this easy and now… it almost seems too easy." Her grin slipped a little. "Way too easy."

Tommy grabbed her waist and pulled her against him. Wrapping his arms around her he set his cheek on her head as she buried it into his chest.

"It's going to be fine. Besides, this is only the beginning." He whispered into her hair. "It's easy now, but it won't be later. Don't worry so much, it's not good for the baby."

Jude rubbed her face into his chest before pulling back a little with a radiant smile. "You're right. Besides, I haven't told my mom and dad yet."

"What?" Tommy looked a little freaked. "Why not? You don't want me there do you?"

"Well, that would be nice. I mean instead of killing me, they'll go straight for you." She smiled innocently.

"Jude, I don't think me being there is such a good idea. They already hate me and don't trust me with you. Now they'll despise me. You're their little girl, I'm your much older producer…" Jude pressed her fingers to his lips to silence him.

"You worry too much Quincy." Jude removed her fingers and pressed her lips there in place.

"That's enough of that you two. See that's why you two are in the predicament you're in. Too much of… that." Kwest made random hand motions, Jude and Tommy watched him in amusement. "Uh… let's get to work."

"Sure." Jude gave Tommy one last quick kiss and turned and walked to her swirly chair. Tommy followed her lead, Kwest after him. Soon they were engrossed in their work and didn't notice as the minutes swiftly shifted to hours.

"Whoa…" Kwest leaned back in his chair and checked his watch. "Already midnight, well guys, I'm off."

Getting up he stretched, clasped hands with Tommy and was out the door with a final, "See you guys tomorrow."

Jude and Tommy watched him leave then turned to each other.

"So you ready to go home?" Tommy asked.

Jude nodded. Tommy rose to his feet and held his hands out to Jude. Smiling she put her hands in his outstretched palms. He pulled her up and out of the chair in one swift motion, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. When he pulled away he faced a glowing Jude.

"We should go." She nodded in response.

Clutching her hand tight, Tommy pulled her out of the studio and through the lobby. Jude was hitting switches right and left as they charged through, turning off lights and random objects. They flew by the security guard and gave a nod as they passed through the doors. Making their way to the Viper, Jude pulled Tommy back; stopping him.

"Slow down! Where's the fire?"

"Sorry, I just couldn't wait to get home." Tommy did an antsy dance.

Jude laughed. "And whys that? Got a hot date I should know about?"

He pulled her to him by the hand, wrapping his arm around her waste. "Yep, she's really hot…"

"Oh?" Jude looked at him wide eyed. "Is she now?"

He nodded his head. "Uh-huh… extremely hot…" He whispered softly as he bent down and kissed her gently.

"Then you better hurry or she might not wait around for you." Jude whispered back.

"Oh, I think she might…" Tommy pulled away.

"Just a little cocky aren't we?" Jude smirked at him.

"Just a little."

Jude nodded, mocking him. "Yeah… just a little…"

"You had better watch it girl…" He threatened.

"What are you ganna do? Sing your nineties boy band music and kill me laughing to death?" She gave him an innocent smile as she slipped her hand into his pocket.

"Oh, you did not just say… that..." Jude slipped out of his arms and ran for the Viper. "Yeah you better run!" Tommy lunged after her.

Running towards the car, Jude glanced over her shoulder. She let out a shriek when two powerful arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her off the ground.

"Tommy! Let me go!" She cried out laughing.

"Never!" He growled into her neck. "You're going to pay."

She giggled as he play bit her in the neck, making growling noises. "Is this how you treat the mother of your child?"

"Oh, Jude I am so sorry!" Tommy quickly set her back on her feet like she was glass, about to be broken any second. "I didn't think, are you okay? I didn't hurt either of you two did I?"

Jude stood in a fascinated shock as Tommy ran his hands up and down her arms and over her stomach. He looked worried and anxious.

She laughed a little. "Tommy, I'm fine," He gave her a doubtful look. "Seriously, you didn't hurt me or the baby…calm down… I'm not glass. I wont break any second."

"Sorry…" He looked away sheepishly but relieved. "I just… uh…"

"It's okay, I understand." Jude grabbed his hand, leading him to the car. He gave her a small smile as she turned and walked around the car while he dug in his pocket.

"Jude, where are my keys?" Tommy looked across the roof of the car at a smiling Jude.

"Oh, I forgot…" She tossed the keys over the car, Tommy catching them in one swift motion.

He glared at her as she smiled sweetly, and pressed the unlock button. They both slipped into the car. When Tommy went to put the keys in the ignition, Jude stopped him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Tommy gave her a blank look, she smirked. "Seat belt."

Rolling his eyes he pulled his seat belt on and slipping the key into the ignition. Jude stopped him from going any further.

"Parking brake." He sent her an 'are-you-kidding-me' look. She smiled sweetly. He let the breaking brake out and asked, "Ready?"

She sighed dramatically. "Yep."

Tommy laughed and switched gears pressed the clutch in and slammed on the gas. They flew through the parking lot and down the road, taking a few sharp corners at fifty. One more and they were speeding down the freeway. They sat in a comfortable silence, Tommy holding on to Jude's hand, laying them both in his lap. A few minutes passed before Jude heard a humming. She listened closely to the familiar tune, until she recognized it. When she did, she started laughing. Tommy glanced at her smiling and continued to hum.

"I should hate you Quincy, for singing that song." Jude said amused.

"But, I'm too cute, right?" He glanced at her again with a twinkle in his eye.

Jude nodded as she leaned towards him. "Extremely cute…" She kissed him on his cheek and then sat back as she was. Tommy continued to hum 'Hey Jude'.

They passed the next few exits silently except Tommy humming 'Hey Jude' non stop.

"Tommy, there's my exit, aren't you going to get over?" Jude asked.

"Nope." Jude looked at him questioningly. "Hot date remember?"

"Oh… I forgot… but wont she be up set when I walk in the door?" Jude asked amused.

"No, not really, two is good… but three is better. If you catch my meaning…" He winked at Jude.

Laughing, she smacked him in the arm. "That's horrible Quincy, you have no manners what so ever. You better not teach my son that disgusting stuff."

"Don't worry, my daughter isn't having a date until she's thirty. Even then, we'll discus it."

Jude looked at him curiously. "Do you really want a girl?"

He squeezed her hand. "I don't care, as long as it and you are healthy."

Jude smiled at that and sat back content. For the rest of the drive they rode in a content silence. Before they knew it they pulled up to Tommy's house. They got out and walked up to the door hand in hand. Once inside Jude yawned and made straight for the stairs, Tommy right behind her. She opened the doors and walked straight to the bed and fell on it, sighing.

"This feels nice…" She had her eyes closed so she didn't see Tommy make his way towards her.

She felt a dip in the mattress but didn't think anything of it until she felt a hand skimming over her rib cage. Lips gently caught her in a passionate kiss, causing her to moan as she wrapped her arms around the body hovering over hers. His hand slipped under her shirt, moving it up out of his way. Still intently involved in the kiss, Jude wrapped her legs around his waist, this time he groaned. He broke the kiss for a second to swiftly remove her shirt. While she tugged at his shirt, he yanked on the offending bra.

"Stupid thing…" He said huskily as he broke the kiss to see what he was doing.

Jude laughed throatily and jerked his shirt off his body. After a few moments of frustrated groans, Jude took pity on him and reached around to remove the offending garment. He gave a grateful moan as he took her mouth again. After a few minutes it wasn't enough and he heaved himself off her and started pulling at her clothes and his. Soon she was helping him and they were both nude. Together they slipped back to the bed, knocking everything off it as they lost themselves in their moment of passion.

Many hours later, Tommy was still wide away as he watched the darks sky outside lighten. Jude began to stir so he held her tighter against his chest. She sighed happily before opening her eyes and meeting his sparkling eyes.

"Morning," he whispered, scared to break the perfection of the moment.

"Morning…" She sighed again and closed her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" He asked with a twinge of worry. "I didn't wear you out did I?"

"Oh… that you did indeed…" Jude laughed a little then opened her eyes and looked him. She saw his genuine worry. "I'm great, feeling better than I have ever felt before."

He smiled at the reassurance and kissed the top of her head. They lapsed into silence. Jude with her head lying on his chest. One of her hands was captured by his as he held it tight over his heart. They were both lost in the same thoughts. Jude decided to speak first, knowing he was thinking about the same thing.

"We have to tell my parents today…"

Tommy sighed. "I know."

"What about Sadie?" Jude asked hesitantly.

He was silent. Jude rose to her knees, pulling a sheet with her and looking down at him.

"Tommy?"

He didn't look at her right away. "Yeah?"

"Who do you love? Me or Sadie?" She was dead serious. "Do you want to be with her but are now stuck with me?"

He looked at her sharply. "What! No!" He frowned at her, then sensing her mood leaned up so he was eye level with her. "I want you, Jude Harrison. Not your sister. I have wanted_ you_ for a long, long time. With or with out this baby, I want _you_. Please, you have to believe me… do you believe me?"

Jude nodded to herself and whispered, "I believe you."

Tommy gave her a huge grin and pulled her to him, kissing all her worries away. No sooner did he kiss her than he had her on her back and he was hovering over her. Hours later they were finally well spent and slipped out of bed. Jude had just found her clothing and had it back on her body when her cell phone started ringing.

She dug around the floor until she tracked it down under the bed.

"Hello?"

"Jude! Where are you? Are you okay!"

"Mom? Mom! Oh I am so sorry I never called last night."

"Where are you?"

"I… uh… I am at… uh…"

"You had better not lie to me! I have been worrying myself crazy because of you!"

"Mom, I have to go. I am really sorry. Can you get dad and meet me at the café for lunch?"

"Yeah sure… but…"

"Okay thanks mom! See you then!"

Jude hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief.

"So lunch?"

Jude looked up at Tommy as he came out of the bathroom ready to go. "Lunch."

He nodded and grabbed her hand, pulling her out the room. "We're late."

They arrived at G-Major in a record time of ten minutes and no tickets. Coming to a squealing stop they got out and ran into the building. Georgia glared at them and pointed to Studio A. They nodded and walked towards the door that would hold their fate for the next few hours.

Which it did. They spent the rest of the day mixing, writing and arguing. Kwest tossed in little jabs about Jude's crinkled clothes, causing himself to be bombarded with paper wads, three pencils and one pen. When lunch finally came, Jude and Tommy looked at each other apprehensively. Together they made their way out of G-Major and to the little café.

When they got there Victoria and Stuart were already seated at a small table out front. Slowly they made their way towards the table. If you happened to catch a glimpse of them, you would think they were on their way to the electric chair.

"Jude! Tommy?" Victoria said as she got up and hugged her daughter.

Jude pasted a fake smile one her face and hugged her dad too. "Mom, dad…"

"Tom, what a surprise." Stuart shook his hand.

Once they were all seated, Tommy grabbed Jude's hand under the table, sharing each others strength.

"So, how's the tour coming along? When are you headed out? How long is it? Six weeks? Three months?" Stuart asked excitedly.

"Oh about that…" Jude glanced away from her parents keen gazes. "I brought you two here to, uh, tell you some… good news..."

"Oh? Like a year long tour? That's great! Just imagine…" Stuart was stopped by Jude's shaking head.

"No not that…" She glanced at Tommy. "It's better…"

"Like what? Are you pregnant or something?" Victoria joked, looking at Stuart and they both laughed a little. Thinking their little girl was to smart for that.

Jude and Tommy looked at them silently. The smiles and laughter disappeared from their faces.

"Jude… you're not…" Victoria asked hopeful she was jumping to conclusions. "Please tell me you're not that stupid…"

Jude remained silent. Tommy squeezed her hand when she gripped his tightly.

"Oh god… you are…" Victoria closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "How did this happen, Jude?"

"What!" Stuart yelled coming out of his initial shock. "Where's the bastard that did this to you!" When there was no reply he looked at Tommy. "Tom, do you know who did this to my little girl? Do you!"

Neither Jude nor Tommy said a thing or made a move. Victoria caught the guilt that passed over Tommy's face when Stuart yelled at him.

"Oh no… please say it isn't true…" Victoria groaned looking at Jude. "It's him isn't it? It's Tom… he's the father."

Jude was speechless. She jumped when her dad bellowed even louder this time.

"What!" Stuart rose to his feet and leaned toward Tommy. "You son-of-a-bitch! You date one of my daughters and then cheat on her with the other! I'll teach you to mess with my family!"

When Stuart lunged towards Tommy, Jude pulled Tommy away from his line of attack. Victoria pulled Stuart back.

"Stuart, calm down!" Victoria yelled.

"Calm down? This… pervert took advantage of my daughter, I will not calm down!"

"Dad, please?" Jude begged.

"Mr. Harrison, I understand what your feeling. You have every right to hate me…" Tommy tried to reason with him.

"Damn right I do!" When he caught sight of Jude holding Tommy's hand he blew up again. "Don't touch my daughter you bastard, don't ever touch her again! Do you hear me! Stay the hell away from my family!" Stuart pushed Tommy away from Jude and screamed, "Leave! Get the hell away from her!"

Tommy was a little freaked out. He glanced at an astonished Jude; she had never seen her dad behave this way. When Stuart made to come after him, Tommy held his hands up and turned and walked away. Jude snapped out of her daze and saw Tommy walk off angry. When she went to chase after him, Stuart grabbed her arm.

"You don't need him, Jude. He's not worth it."

Jude stared at her father a second before yanking her arm from his grasp and snarling at him. "Let me go! He loves me dad, and I love him! You mine as well except it."

"Jude I am just looking out for you. He's going to hurt you." Stuart said softly, but Jude still saw red.

"He can't hurt me any worse than you did." Jude sneered before she turned on her heal and ran after Tommy. Leaving a hurt Stuart and thoughtful Victoria.

"Tommy! Tommy, stop!" Jude called as she ran after him down the street. He didn't stop he just kept walking. When Jude finally made it to him she grabbed his arm bringing him to a halt.

"Tommy, would you face me?" Jude tugged on his arm again.

Tommy turned and faced her but didn't meet her eyes. She studied him for a moment.

"Can you speak to me now please?" She was worried; she didn't know how he was taking everything. As much as she tried to forget it, her dream was there in the back of her mind.

He finally looked at her. "What do you want me to say? That everything is fine? 'Cause its not." Jude opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "Your parents hate me. Which they have reasonable cause to do, I mean I took advantage of you. Now you have to put your life on hold because of this baby, which I forced on you. If it wasn't for me, you would be doing your world tour, but no, I took that away from you."

She could only stare at him while he ranted, hating himself more with every word he said. She knew she needed to say something but for some reason, the words weren't coming to her.

"What else am I going to take away from you? Huh?" He continued as he made wild gestures with his hands. "I can't do this. I can't take your life away from you. I wish I could go back and just redo that whole night."

Before he could go any further, she put her hand over his mouth; stopping his words but forcing him to listen to her.

"I know you're upset, but Tommy, do you seriously think I would take back that night if_ I_ could?" He just stared at her, lost for words. "I wouldn't, I wouldn't give it up for all the money, all the fame, nothing. I told you once and I will tell you one more time Quincy. I want this baby, and it's the best gift anyone could have given me. Do you believe me?"

Tommy saw the fire leap into her eyes so he just nodded.

"Good, cause what's happening is happening. There's no way you can stop it. I know my parents are upset right now, but they will come around. They have to because they know it's not going to change. Now I need you to know that. I need your support more than I need theirs right now. I need to know that you won't turn and run at the first possible second. I don't want to do this alone." Jude slid her hand away from his mouth. "Will you be here Quincy or am I doing this alone?"

Tommy looked into Jude's eyes. His gut wrenched, he knew what he had to do but he was just scared. He closed his eyes preparing himself before he gave her an answer. Jude's heart dropped when his eyes slid closed. She tried to prepare herself for what he was going to say next but she just couldn't.

"No," He whispered opening his eyes and looking into hers. Tears immediately sprang into her eyes. Bringing his hands up to her cheeks he continued as he stared into her eyes. "No, you won't do any of it alone. I'm here girl, every second. I'm not leaving, I may get a little scared but I'll still find my way back to you, no matter how scared I get."

Jude gave him a joyful smile. He copied her grin and said seriously, "And I will get scared. There's no help for that."

"As long as you don't do something stupid, I am perfectly fine with you being scared." She whispered to him before she rose to her toes and kissed him softly.

"Come on, let's get back to the studio." Tommy said taking her hand and pulling her to the car. He gave her hand a kiss before releasing it. They shared the same grin as they slid into the car.

The second Jude was buckled in they shot out of the parking spot and down the road. Jude held the door handle to keep from falling into Tommy's lap. She learned long ago how to move with the car's sudden jolts. Once they were on the freeway she could safely release her hold on the handle.

Jude looked over at Tommy as he scanned the road ahead. She studied his intent expression and smiled a little. Her hand fell from the door as she laid it on her stomach. Tommy glanced up at her in time to see her look out the window. He looked at her for a moment taking in her radiant face and the hand laying softly over the place their child rested. Looking back at the road he grabbed her free hand where it lay beside her on her seat. Jude looked over and smiled softly at him when he brought their interlocked fingers to his lips. They looked at each other for a moment then looked back out the windows, fingers interlocked in Tommy's lap. No words were needed between them at that moment.

For the rest of the ride they drove in silence. Tommy pulled into his spot and slipped the keys from the ignition in one swift motion. Once the car was stopped, neither spoke as they stared out the front window.

Tommy started playing with Jude's fingers that still lay in his hand, fidgeting nervously.

" So, I was thinking…" He began, his attention planted firmly on her fingers. Jude watched him silently. "Your mom is probably really upset about this whole... situation. And I was wondering if maybe you wanted to move in…" He looked at Jude. " With me..."

Jude continued to stare at him like he lost his mind. He looked down again.

"Or not… it's not a big deal or any thing… I just thought with the baby and all…"

"Yes!" Jude squealed slipping her hand out of Tommy's and grabbed his face to give him a hard kiss.

She pulled away and grinned at him. It took him a moment to understand what happened, when he did, his face lit up as he copied her grin. They stared at each other a moment before Tommy broke the silence, "We should probably get back in there."

Jude nodded and slid her hands away from his. Both slowly got out of the car and made their way to the entrance. Their fingers entwined they walked through the lobby and to Studio A. The lobby was full of people, but they were in their own world. When the Studio door was closed they got to work, getting lost in the music.

It was ten o'clock when they finally packed up, said 'bye' to Kwest and left the Studio. Tommy was about to pass Jude's exit again when she commented.

"I really need to go home tonight, Tommy." Jude said.

He looked at her for a second before focusing back on the road. He switched his blinker on and turned off the freeway. The rest of the ride was silent until they pulled into the driveway.

"Sure you don't want to stay at my place tonight?" Tommy asked looking at the house.

"Yeah… I need to face her." Jude was staring at the house then turned to face him. He turned his attention from the house to her. "I'll see you tomorrow? We can move my things then… sound good?"

His face was expressionless as he looked at her. Jude became apprehensive as she watched his face become that hated mask.

"Quincy…?" She asked timidly.

"Huh…?" He snapped back to reality and looked away for a second. "Oh sorry… lost in thought… tomorrow. See you tomorrow."

The little grin he gave her was to put her worries to rest, but it did anything but.

"Okay…" Jude grabbed the door handle and whispered, "Night Quincy…"

He felt her tension and grabbed her face before she could leave. He kissed her hard and quick, giving a devilish grin as he pulled away. Jude looked away, and then forced herself to look at him. She gave him a small smile before getting out of the car. She heard a "Goodnight girl" but closed the door before he could say anything else.

Jude watched him drive away, suddenly not sure. Something seemed off about his behavior. Shrugging she turned towards the house. With measuring steps she made her way to the door. Once inside she spotted her mom sitting on the couch, everything silent. Unsure what to do Jude stood in front of the door.

"Jude, can you please come in here?" Victoria's voice was neutral.

Jude took a deep breath and walked into the living room. She stopped next to the couch looking at her mother wearily. Victoria motioned for her to take a seat on the chair adjacent to her. Jude sat and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. The silence that surrounded them was almost deafening.

"I don't know where to begin…" Victoria started as she looked at the wall intensely.

Jude was quiet for a moment then said softly, "Do you hate me?"

Victoria snapped her head around to look at Jude. Her head was bowed as she tried to fight the tears that pushed to escape. She could take anything the world gave her, anything at all. Only, no matter how strong she was, she couldn't live knowing her mother hated her.

Fighting her own tears, Victoria quickly went to Jude and wrapped her arms around her. She hated her daughter thinking that she could possibly hate her.

"Jude… shh…" Victoria whispered into Jude's hair as she held her head tight against her shoulder. She rocked Jude back and forth as sobs escaped her. "I don't hate you I could never hate you…"

Tears fell from Victoria's eyes as she listened to Jude cry. "Shh… I love you Jude. I will love you no matter what."

For half an hour they stayed in that position. Jude held tight against Victoria. Even after their tears had dried, they still held each other as if it was what their lives depended on. Jude was the first to pull back. She ran her hand across her eyes and cheeks clearing any trace of tears. Victoria sat back and did the same.

"So, what happens now?" Victoria asked Jude.

"I don't really know." Jude answered truthfully. "I guess I move in with Tommy and we raise the baby."

"What about marriage?" Victoria asked softly. Jude looked at her sharply.

"We haven't talked about that…" Jude told her looking away.

"Oh…" Victoria didn't know what else to say. "So, you're going to come by and talk right? I mean I would like to see you and… the, uh, baby."

"Yeah of course," Jude said still looking away.

"Good."

They lapsed into silence. Victoria wondered silently what you say to your eighteen year old rock star daughter who happened to be pregnant with her much older producer's child. There definitely weren't manuals on this sort of thing. Jude didn't know what to tell her mother. She couldn't talk of the worries she felt because then she wouldn't seem ready or old enough. She wanted her mother to be proud of her.

"Well, I think I'm going to go to bed. Big day tomorrow." Jude said as she rose to her feet.

Victoria nodded as Jude walked by her and to the stairs. She then got up and faced her, stopping her.

"Jude," She waited until Jude faced her. "If anything happens, anything at all; if you don't feel comfortable or just miss it here… you can always come home. Your room will always be waiting."

Jude gave Victoria a relieved smile and said "Thank you." Before she turned and walked up the stairs and to her room. Suddenly her heart seemed lighter knowing that she still had her mother. Even if her dad hated her, she had somebody with her.


	8. Chapter 7 Someday I Will Be Okay

**Chapter Seven: Someday I Will Be Okay**

_Dear Diary,_

_Things are going great! Can you believe I could be so happy? I can't. It's all so surreal right now. I couldn't be happier. _

_Do you believe me? _

_I don't. But hey, I tried. And someday I will be okay._

Jude set her pen down and looked at the last line she wrote 'Someday I will be okay'. It was always another day. The best thing to happen to her was giving birth to her little girl. No she never got the beautiful baby boy who looked like his father, but she did get a beautiful baby girl that looked like her father. Tommy was happy at first, but the man she knew changed. Which is precisely why their marriage was destined to fail.

_I cant put it off any longer…_ Jude thought to herself. She picked up the folded papers and studied them for a moment.

They were the same exact papers she had her lawyer draw up, the divorce papers. She was married to Tommy for two years. It was time to let him go, it was what he wanted from the beginning. She knew he wasn't ready for a family, to settle down, but she thought maybe, just maybe… well it didn't matter any more. It was dead.

Jude grabbed a pen and held it tight. She looked at the blank line where she was to sign. Taking a deep breathe, she quickly scribbled her name.

Jude Mary-Ann Quincy.

She fought tears back; there was no point to cry. The man she knew wasn't even there any longer. A stranger took his place.

"Jude…" A voice called softly from behind her.

She turned to see Kat and Jamie standing in the open doorway. Her beautiful little girl, Angel, held in Jamie's arms. So innocent, she didn't know what was happening. But she had seen and heard too much for her whole two year existence.

"Okay." It was all she could choke out. She turned from them and put a folded piece of paper in the notebook lying on the night stand. Then, she set the divorce papers under it. A shinny silver chain slipped from her fingers and landed on the notebook. Jude looked at it for a moment. There was no hope left and no reason to keep it anymore. It was time to go.

She took one quick look around the room. She shared this room with Tommy for two years; it had happy and sad memories. She closed her eyes against it all and walked to the door. Kat's arm slipped around her. Together they descended the stairs and walked out the door. Jude looked at nothing as she left. It was just too hard. Her gut was twisting in misery, but she refused to cry. Not now, not ever. Tommy was gone, she had to think of herself and Angel.

When Jude got into Jamie's car, she looked back one last time. The house looked cold and barren. There was no love and joy left. She turned away from the house determined not to look back, ever. He made his many mistakes, this time he had made too many. She can still hear the last words she ever spoke to him.

"_It never happened… right?"_

But it happened, and it was never forgotten.

**A/N: There is a sequel coming called "What If". It answers all the questions you have. This is the end.**


End file.
